Nicole Braddock Bromley - Hush: Moving From Silence to Healing After Childhood Sexual Abuse

MOVING FROM SILENCE TO HEALING
AFTER CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE

NICOLE BRADDOCK BROMLEY

M OODY P UBLISHERS
CHICAGO

2007 by
N ICOLE B RADDOCK B ROMLEY

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton Illinois 60189, U.S.A. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked the message are from The Message, copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Cover design and image: Tim Green | The DesignWorks Group, Inc. | www.thedesignworksgroup.com

Interior design: Julia Ryan, www.designbyjulia.com

ISBN: 0-8024-4864-X

ISBN-13: 978-0-8024-4864-4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Bromley, Nicole Braddock.

Hush: moving from silence to healing after childhood sexual abuse
/ Nicole Braddock Bromley.
p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-8024-4864-4

1. Child sexual abuse--Religious aspects--Christianity. 2. Child sexual abuse--Psychological aspects. 3. Adult child sexual abuse victims--Rehabilitation. I. Title.
HV6570.B76 2007 362.76092--dc22
[B]

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FOR ANY VICTIM OF ABUSE
WHOSE VOICE HAS EVER BEEN SILENCED
BY SOMEONE WHO SAID, HUSH!

Heartfelt Thanks

To Moody Publishers: For believing in me and my message and for the vision, faith, and commitment that turned my dream into reality. A special thank-you to Editorial Director Dave DeWit. Your heart is as genuine as they come, and your expertise and guidance during the entire process have made this a very positive experience. Also to Acquisitions Coordinator Tracey Shannon, for your hard work and enthusiasm for spreading my message and ministry through this book.

To Dr. Judith St. Pierre, my editor: For your wealth of wisdom, your steadfast commitment to reshape this book, and your willingness to teach me along the way. What a gifted woman you are!

To Dr. Carol Q Harding: For your friendship and for making the midnight phone call that sparked this publishing adventure.

To Rev. Cynthia Stiverson (aka Mom): For being the mother I wish every child could have. You not only believed me and protected me after I broke the silence, but also helped me pave a new path and taught me what I needed to know to be able to share this message with the world. You have prayed with me and supported me every step of the way. Mom, you rock! Youll always be my best friend and my greatest mentor.

To my two awesome dads: My father, Gary, for your unconditional love and constant support. Youve always believed in me. My stepdad, Mark, for your amazing godly example, advice, love, and the major role you played in helping me trust again.

To Kathy, Amber, and Garrett: For your love and encouragement, and to Alicia, for giving me a deeper well from which to draw in writing this book.

To all those across the country who have encouraged and supported me and this book: For your prayers, without which no work like this can be accomplished. Thank you to the OneVOICE prayer and support team, with special thanks to Pastor Joe and Rachel Blevins, Erin George, Debbie Paxton, Elijah Smith, and Ron Kopicko.

To the many other special friends, teachers, coaches, pastors, mentors, and family members: For loving and accepting me throughout my healing journey and now in ministry.

To the many administrators, student development staff, and chaplains: For graciously allowing me to minister on your campuses in the past few years. Your students have made this book possible; it is for them.

To my husband, Matthew: For bringing resolution to my story. This book wouldnt be complete without you. Your unconditional love, understanding, and support are what I hope every little girl who has survived childhood sexual abuse will experience through her knight in shining armor. Your godly character is everything other men should strive for. You truly are Gods greatest gift to me, and words can never fully express how thankful I am for you or how blessed I am to be your wife.

To my heavenly Father, God: For Your great faithfulness. Your promises are true. You have brought good out of bad; You have brought healing and given me hope and a future. May my life always reflect Your grace and love to those who silently hurt. This is Your book, Lord. Thank You for allowing me to be Your vessel.

OUR LITTLE SECRET

When my flight arrived on the West Coast for a college speaking engagement, a student named Shelby picked me up from the airport in her bright red Jeep Wrangler.

Wow! Nice ride! I said as I climbed in. I couldnt afford anything like this when I was in college.

I cant either, Shelby said. My brother gave it to me. He didnt want it anymore.

Why not? I asked. Its pretty sweet!

Youll see, Shelby said as she pulled onto the freeway.

As we headed for the campus, there was so much racket coming from under the hood that I was afraid the transmission was going to fall out.

See what I mean? Shelby asked. This happens whenever I drive over fifty.

Above the noise, we chatted about what it is that I do. I told her about my organization, OneVOICE Enterprises. VOICE is an acronym for Victory Over Impossible CircumstancEs, I explained. I founded OneVOICE to raise awareness of and help prevent sexual abuse. I travel to schools, churches, and conferences across the country to talk about it. Most of the time I speak at Christian colleges.

Christian colleges? Shelby said. I dont get it. I didnt think students at Christian colleges experienced anything bad like that.

Although Shelbys statement distressed me, it didnt surprise me. Ive found that many people think sexual violence will never touch them or affect anyone close to them. Yet the reality is that sexual abuse takes place everywhereeven in respectable, loving, Christian families. It occurs where we least expect it, and it affects all of us.

As they travel the road of life, many abuse survivors are much like Shelbys car. From the outside, you would never guess that something is seriously wrong on the inside. I know, because Im an abuse survivor whose life for many years wasnt all it appeared to be.