Henpicked - Menopause: The Change for the Better

Contents

Henpicked is a community website for women over 40. We often share menopause articles and some of the comments women write on our social media told us that there are lots of myths and misunderstandings about the menopause, with some women dreading it because of what theyve heard or read, or having a bad time getting the help they want and need.

Before we wrote this guide, we carried out a survey and talked to groups of women. We found that there are lots of women who sail through it and lots who struggle. Along the way, we discovered the key questions women have about the menopause. So we decided to put this book together to provide easy-to-understand information. This is not designed to be a medical encyclopaedia or a tome of a book just extra help, quick and easy to read at any time.

Many women tell us that theyre happier after the menopause, so why not all of us? Why put up with symptoms if you do suffer with them, when you can do something about it? Or why wait until any symptoms get in the way of enjoying life?

Please dont be alarmed by headlines that can seem shocking when they hit out of the blue. The big headlines in 2002 about the safety of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) left many women not taking it because of the risks, based on research that was inaccurately reported to the media. Then again more recently, in 2016, another scary headline emerged without enough information for women to know if they are at risk or not. Its simply not on.

And being postmenopausal absolutely doesnt mean youre past it. Certainly not when you look at so many of the inspirational role models such as Helen Mirren and Judi Dench, who are successful, vibrant and glowing with life. And there are probably lots of women you know yourself. Many will tell you exactly how they feel about menopause if you ask.

We believe its time to change the way we talk about the change. To dispel the myths, get to grips with the facts and talk about it more. We women are good at helping each other. Actually, thats what Henpickeds all about sharing advice and tips and supporting each other. We believe we should talk about menopause more, with our partners, family, friends, managers and colleagues. Lets get menopause out in the open. So we talked to members of our community and experts and put this easy guide together. It wont take long to read but it does cover the key questions we get asked so you can understand it better. It tells you the important facts and if you read nothing else, youve made a very good start. And it shares womens personal experience.

There are resources in the back of the book about where you can find more information, and well keep sharing through Henpicked, too.

So get a drink of whatever you like and we hope you enjoy this book and join us in talking more about menopause.

The Henpicked team

Coming out of menopause is like a chrysalis becoming a
butterfly, but this time with more experience.

Anne Loadman

Menopause is a big thing. Its a transition in our lives, signalling the end of one era and the beginning of the next. One of the beauties of menopause is that its your own, and your experience will be different to everyone elses. You may experience certain symptoms, issues and sometimes complications. Or you may not. For some women it takes over their lives, while others simply sail through it.

Who is this book for?

Weve noticed that there are countless books about puberty, pregnancy and childbirth, and about what to expect much later in life. But for some unfathomable reason, it isnt the same when it comes to menopause. Yes, there are some books and information, but weve found they often focus on the negatives or are too long or medical.

Its almost a taboo: women all over the world go through menopause, but its not often something we discuss over a glass of wine. Yet its a natural part of life for women. We all experience it at different times and in different ways. Its time to welcome in a new chapter of your life, with lots to look forward to. Your periods stop, but the world doesnt.

Thats why we decided to write this easy guide. To share with you what you might expect, discuss the symptoms you could experience, and give you some food for thought. Our menopause experts, along with women from all walks of life, will be discussing their thoughts, fears and tips.

Its not about telling you whats right or wrong. What works for one woman may not work for the next, so by giving you as much independent, unbiased information as possible, we can help you to make informed decisions and do whats right for you during menopause and beyond.

Why do some women dread the menopause?

Many women approach the menopause with a sense of dread. As one woman put it, When I was growing up my mum had early menopause and all I recall are adjectives like mad, crazy woman, and now Im inherently afraid.

But its very important to have a sense of perspective. While one woman may sail through menopause with barely a symptom, another may feel its taken over her life. We want to get real about it. To bring you the stories, positive and negative, and to help you take control and keep the balance in your life.

Why dont we talk about menopause openly?

Modern society in the Western world is a difficult place for menopausal women. Why? Because were constantly fed images of youth and beauty being the aspiration, our fertile years defining us as women. Female celebrities are frequently derided as they age, criticised for gaining or losing weight, for greying hair and for anything other than a perfectly wrinkle-free face. Is it surprising so many of them go under the knife? And then the media jumps on them for having surgery.

We asked our community why they thought people were still afraid to talk about menopause. While some women found that it had never been an issue, others felt that fear and embarrassment played a big part, along with persistent negative language surrounding the subject. Some felt that culturally we are ingrained into valuing youth and fertility, and menopause is seen as a loss of these and therefore not something to be celebrated. And in formal environments, such as at work, many women felt it was absolutely not a subject they could happily discuss with colleagues and managers.

We talk about going through menopause as if its some gruelling challenge, and we can only relax when were at the end. Its also known as the change, a term often used in a derogatory sense.

So weve added our own ending to this phrase lets make it the change for the better .

Which is why we love the quote weve opened with. Since when was change a bad thing? Why cant we look at menopause as a transformation, a new beginning, a metamorphosis? Interestingly, in Japanese culture this is exactly the case. Their word for this stage of a womans life is konenki ko means renewal or regeneration, nen means years and ki means energy. Renewal years and energy a much more positive way of describing it.

And while we in the Western world are lamenting menopause, some of us feeling invisible or written off as old and past it, in some parts of the world women positively look forward to their postmenopausal years. In Mayan Indian tribes, for example, they can enjoy a new status in their communities, becoming the wise women and leaders, revered for their life experiences.