Megan Vickers - Stronger: The honest guide to healing and rebuilding after pregnancy and birth

Contents

My thanks must start at the very beginning of this idea. It came about around a camp fire, sharing birth stories with my friend Dr Jane, a recently retired GP, she encouraged me to share all that Ive learnt. Motivated by her words trust me women dont know this stuff and they deserve to, I started writing.

Over dinner at The Naughty Piglets our chef friend Joe introduced me to Bravo Blue agency and my ideas became a book under the guidance of Charlotte Colwill. With her help I became a writer as well as a physiotherapist.

Charlotte soon became known as My Charlotte, after meeting Bloomsbury Charlotte. To both I owe a lot of thanks, their ideas, patience and encouragement brought the best out of me.

Thank you to my editor, Sarah, for all your advice. I loved and will miss our chats; thank you for listening. Together with Luisa (Strongers beautiful cover artist) and Jasmine (talented illustrator) you brought my book to life.

To all of my friends patiently trawling through first drafts and your super helpful corrections and removals of exclamation marks; Lou, Ruth, James, Claire, Kasey, Carrie, Mum and Dad.

Behind all of this and me, every step of the way, my Robyn, Coco and James. Thank you. I was able to do this because of and thanks to you.

A big thank you to all of the women who entrusted me with their post-natal recoveries; your strength empowered me. If youre listening to the audio version of this book then you will hear the voice of Jo, whom I had the pleasure of supporting through two out of her three pregnancy and post-natal journeys. Thank you to Jo for being as excited to work on this project as I was to have you. Four Sides team, space and community has been the best platform I could have wished for and I am grateful for all that this has brought me and my family.

And lastly to Carrie. For keeping this authentically Meg with your support, encouragement and love, thank you.

Maybe youve picked up this book because youre finally done with wetting yourself laughing and its no longer funny. Perhaps your already-mum friends brought it along to your baby shower to give you an eye-opening account of what recovery from birth is really like and you thought it was a joke. Or possibly its gone past the point where you can ask your midwife to explain exactly what she means when she talks about your pelvic floor and Kegel exercises. This guide will bare all and reveal all the questions you didnt know you had, as well as answering those you were too embarrassed to ask.

Whether youre preparing for motherhood, have recently become a mother or are weeks, months or many years down the line, it is never too late to heal and rebuild. Growing and birthing a baby is a magical but brutal process. Things we took for granted change drastically over this time, from how our hormones communicate and control us, to the way we breathe and move, to how often we pee and poo. We sometimes forget to acknowledge these vast changes or forgive ourselves when our bodies stubbornly refuse to spring back into pre-pregnancy shape. We can call this the fourth trimester, the post-natal period or getting our body back, but if we dont use this time to consciously heal and rebuild our bodies then we may stay in this phase for years, if not a lifetime.

After pregnancy, the truth is that problems with our body, and particularly our pelvic floors, will affect most of us. Pelvic floor weakness is a taboo topic and this part of our body is not treated with the care it deserves. You might share a laugh with another mum about having to cross your legs when you sneeze or nip behind a bush to pee mid-run, but behind closed doors youre probably devastated by this. Most of us would rather die than openly discuss fanny farting, poo stains in our underwear or not making it to the bathroom in time. We would sooner cover up and change our whole wardrobe before talking to our doctor about still looking pregnant months later, anxiety or unhappiness around our changed shape, and negative feelings towards our baby as a result.

To be honest, though, how many of us really understand what pelvic floor exercises are, and know how they help and how to perform them properly? How many of us could competently navigate our nether regions even before the changes that come with pregnancy and birth? Im going to teach you about your body and how it functions in order to make it strong, and help you optimise your overall health and fitness. I get it. Im the physio, so why do you need to learn how your body works? Cant I just tell you what to do? Think of healing and rebuilding your body as if you were completing a jigsaw puzzle. There are many ways of doing it the edges first, outwards from the corners or matching colours but whatever way you do it, isnt it easier to know what the final picture should look like? What is it that youre trying to piece together? Youre not expected to memorise this either. Look back at these lessons in anatomy at any time, just like coming across a tricky piece of puzzle and looking at the picture on the box to work out where it should go.

So what does healing and rebuilding actually mean?

Even relatively straightforward pregnancies and births can stretch our bodies to their limits, and often beyond. After carrying and delivering children, it is vital that we allow time for our bodies to repair and our hormones to return to normal-ish levels. In order to restrengthen our pelvic floors, tummies, pelvises and spines, we must protect, stabilise and rehabilitate each part. This is my post-natal mantra and you will see these words frequently here, because these steps are the secret to rebuilding after any injury.

It begins with protect . To protect is to keep from harm and after the birth of our babies our bodies are vulnerable, but until now there was not enough clarity on how to care for ourselves and avoid post-birth injuries. And its not just immediately after the birth of our babies that we need to protect our bodies, but also before our babies are born and for many moons after. In the excitement of a new baby a mothers recovery is often overlooked, but your care, support and protection are just as important as your babys.

Needing to duck out of gym classes to wee, a feeling of heaviness in your vagina after running to work and an acceptance of painful constipation are all warning signs and examples of experiences that we need to prevent and recover from rather than adapt to and compensate for.

Alongside protect we need to stabilise . To rebuild and restore we first need a stable base to work from. Just like building a strong house, if we dont set it on solid, stable foundations it wont stay strong for long. Some mothers I work with have done much to rebuild and strengthen their bodies, but have left out protection and stabilisation, meaning that their foundations remain weaker. Only once we have addressed those issues can we truly rehabilitate and restore our strength.

Protect, stabilise and rehabilitate are the tools youll need for this journey, so lets get started.

Protect: Uncross your legs! Im guilty of this all the time, even though I know it twists my pelvis, and makes my pelvic floor wonky and my back crooked, so even I need to set myself reminders. Start with both of your feet on the floor, raise your bottom a little higher than your knees by sitting on a cushion and check your back is fully supported, so that you can relax and dont need to cross your legs to get comfy.