Bette Bette Greene - Ive Already Forgotten Your Name, Philip Hall!

NOT UNTIL SHE SWUNG the last of those brimming-over-with-apples wooden crates onto the trucks rear platform did my grandmother stop to wipe a bit of sweat from her forehead. Used to be Id load my truck front to back without so much as sweating up a drop, she said, while giving her forehead a quick swipe with the sleeve of her flowery dress. Must sure be getting old.

What a strange thought! At the same time that I knew all grandmothers are old, I somehow still couldnt believe it. I mean really believe that my very own Mama Regina was getting old. You getting old? Why, everybody says youre Walnut Ridges best volunteer firefighter! And not even your hired man can lift a single one of those crates onto this truck without struggling, straining, and sweating, and remember Sidney Earl aint even seen the last of his teens. Now, aint that the truth?

I watched as her gray head bobbed ever so slowly, first up and then down, and I could just tell that she was thinking. I could tell that she was thinking of something that happened so very long ago. And as we walked back into the house, she began her out-loud remembering. Reckon I wasnt even as old or as strong as Sidney Earl is now when your granddaddy up and died. Lordy, I felt so bad, missing him like I did. Oh, it was sad, what with your own mama just a sweet little baby, crying in her crib.

Thats when I figured that I didnt have no choice in this world, but to get strong or to get poor. Somebody had to pick the apples, put them into crates, load them onto the truck, and drive them to market. Somebody had to make us some money. Yes siree, and that somebody wasnt nobody but me. Nobody but skinny little me to take care of my farm and my pretty, little baby girlyour mother!

Although I had never seen her eat or drink anything any more magical than Dr. Boodens ugly tasting cough medicine, still and all I thought Id tell her what folks hereabouts are all-the-time saying. Some folks in Walnut Ridge say youve got yourself some very secret SECRET that you keep all to yourself. Some secret that youve never told, cause only somebody with either a magic medicine or maybe some magic words could be as strong as you are.

Ha! she answered, as she served me up a thick slab of honey-baked ham and half a platter of her really crispy-crackly okra. It wasnt until she set herself down in front of her own plate of ham and okra that she said Ha! once more. While she reached for a square of cornbread, I waited patiently. At least patiently for me, which probably aint very patient at all, but even so, she still didnt say another word. Well, maybe that was only cause she was drinking buttermilk. A person probably needs food in her belly before she goes telling secrets, especially very important, magical secrets.

After what seemed like a very long while, but was probably only a very short while, I figured that she wasnt going to say anything more than Ha! So, I had to come right out and ask her what Ive been wanting to know for all these weeks Ive been living here with her in Walnut Ridge. Why, any minute now Ma and Pa will be driving up that dusty road to bring me back home to Pocahontas, and I might never get a better chance to ask than now.

I listened while the okra made loud, crunching sounds in my mouth. Well, how do you reckon you did it, Grandma? If its not magic, then how come you dont just up and tell folks how you did it? Just got so strong?

Suddenly the wrinkles across her forehead wrinkled more deeply. What you talking about, girl? Is you saying that Im keeping secrets?

Well, the truth is, folks are say

And Ive told you more than once not to go listening to what folks in Walnut Ridge, Arkansas, be saying, cause if they said only what they know to be true, then most folks wouldnt hardly be doing a speck of talking!

But if they dont know, I protested, then that sure dont keep them from suspecting this or suspecting that. Folks say that all the time Grandpa lived, they never saw tiny, little you lifting anything heavier than your seven-pound baby. But folks sure sat up and took notice after Grandpa died. Why, both the Mulhern brothers tell how they looked out their window one morning and saw you pushing your loaded-with-apples truck five miles into town after the motor broke down.

The old lady shook her head so hard that her dangle earrings struck back and forth against the side of her face. I dont care what them Mulherns go around saying! The motor didnt fall out till I reached the highway, so I didnt have to push that truck no five miles! Four miles maybe, but five miles never!

Well, maybe, I said, hoping not to get her all excited again. If you could just tell everybody how you got strong enough to push a loaded truck four miles, then folks would stop asking, stop pestering, and finally stop wondering.

Mama Regina sighed just as though this explaining was going to be real hard work, a heap harder work than lifting up apple crates or even pushing her broken down truck. If Ive told one person, Ive told a dozen people, and some of them Ive told more than once. Fact is, most folks dont much like the truth cause the truth is hard, but magicwell, magic is easy. With magic everybody can get everything they want anytime they want it by sprinkling a little Stardust, making a wish, or saying silly stuff like Abracadabra.

Well, I dont believe in none of that stuff. No siree bob. I believe in the truth, and so thats the only thing Im going to tell you. Only thing, I is only going to tell you once, sweet Bethy. Only one time and never, ever again.

I nodded okay, while all the time feeling honored beyond belief that I was at last going to learn the secret of my little grandmothers extra-big strength.

The secret of my strength, she said, looking at me with the kindest eyes of chocolate brown that Ive ever seen, is that it aint a secret.

You mean it aint?

No.

Well, nobody knows. Nobody understands how you do what you do.

Well, just the same, it aint no secret and it aint no magic.

Then what? What is it?

My grandmother laughed just as though the joke was on me. Oh, Bethy, sweet Bethy, you is sure enough filled with confetti. Why, the answer is plain, as plain as that there crumb of cornbread hanging onto your lower lip.

I swiped at the crumb with a paper napkin. If its so plain then how come I dont know? How come nobody in all of Walnut Ridge knows?

Same reason that you werent really listening to me, girl, when I already done told you that it aint stacks of Stardust or even something out of a magicians mysterious sleeves that gives me my strength. No, Beth, what I did didnt take a smidgen of magic, it only took a plan and work. Working long and hard to build up strength, little by little and day by day!

I shook my head at the wonder of it all. Imagine that, I said at last. The secret that all of Walnut Ridge was looking for and wondering about was all the time right there in front of their noses. Every bit as plain as all those little red apples just a-hanging from your trees.

Then, from outside the house, I heard the gravel on the driveway crunch under the moving weight of a vehicle. Ma and Pa! Theyre here! Finally, finally, Im going home again! But only one glance at my grandmothers face and I knew that my too-enthusiastic words about leaving her had soured her spirits. Im sorry! I didnt mean that I dont love you, and didnt love being here with you, cause I do; I only meant that Ive been missing my home, missing it badly. Thats all I meant.