ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I am grateful to so many people for their contributions to The Difference:
David Robinson at Duke University was a delightful find and invaluable resource.
Michael Falcon took an interest in this project and brought the resources of Merrill Lynch to the table, including the brain trust of Stephen Mitchell, Vince Grogan, and Aimee DiCamillo; and from Harris Interactive: Humphrey Taylor, Ann Hannon, David Baron, Sonja Anderson, and Carly Fink.
The countless researchers in the fields of behavioral finance and psychology who took the time to walk me through their fascinating projects, including: Angela Duckworth (University of Pennsylvania), Sanjay Srivastava (University of Oregon), Richard Freeman (Harvard University), Wojceich Kopczuk (Columbia University), Sonja Lyubormirsky (Stanford University), Ed Diener (University of Illinois), Robert Brooks (Harvard Medical School), Robert Emmons (University of California, Davis), Frederick Crane (Northeastern College of Business), Katherina Rosqueta (University of Pennsylvania), Dean Keith Simonton (University of California, Davis), Timothy Judge (University of Florida), Charles Manz (University of Massachusetts), Jennifer Crocker (University of Michigan), Barry Swartz (Swarthmore College), Icek Aizen (University of Massachusetts), Edwin Locke (University of Maryland), Robert Meyer (Wharton School of Business), Jay Zagorsky (Ohio State University), Robert Liden (University of Illinois), Lyle Ungar (University of Pennsylvania), Charles Carver (University of Miami), Alice Isen (Cornell University) and Karen Reivich (University of Pennsylvania), Linda Meccouri (Springfield Technical Community College), Ayelet Fischbach (University of Chicago Graduate School of Business), Daniel Turban, (University of Missouri), Mort Harmatz (University of Massachusetts), Richard Wiseman (University of Hertfordshire), Monica Forret (St. Ambrose University), and Amy Wrzesniewski (Yale University School of Management).
The authors and experts who did likewise, including: Tim Ferris, Seth Godin, Gina Martin, and Doug Harrision.
Jason Zweigauthor, expert, friendwho is always so generous with his time and his knowledge.
Monica Roman, Joan Caplin, Elaine Sherman, and Arielle McGowen, for their research assistance.
My Oprah & Friends family: Oprah Winfrey, Harriet Seitler, Tim Bennett, Doug Pattison, Erik Logan, John St. Augustine, Katherine Kelly, Tiffany Square, Charles Gardner, Theresa Rodriguez, Katie Gibson, Katy Davis, and Candi Carter.
My Today show family: Matt Lauer, Meredith Viera, Ann Curry, Al Roker, Nat alie Morales, Amy Robach, Lester Holt, Jim Bell, Marc Victor, Patricia Luchsinger, Gil Reisfield, Jackie Levin, Rachel DeLima, and all the fabulous producers who help put our segments together.
The people without whom my work life wouldn't be the same: Lesley Jane Seymour, Jennifer Braunschweiger, Craig Matters, Jeff Spangler, Chris Cannon, Erik Kerr, Jason Alderman, Melisa Schilling, Michelle Melville, Rob Densen, Scott Wenger, Wendy Kaufman, Arielle McGowen (again), and Sarah Compo.
And the people without whom my life-life wouldn't be the same: Lisa Greene, Diane Adler, Ilene Miller, Jan Fisher, Debi Fried, Kathy Goldberg, all the Smolers, and my family, Eliot, Eric, Dave, Ali, Elaine.
Heather Jackson, who improves my work with every pass, and the entire team at Crown: Jenny Frost, Tina Constable, Philip Patrick, Tara Gilbride, Karrie Witkin, Patty Berg, Alisha Cantrell, Tricia Wygal, Amy Boorstein, Courtney Snyder, and Linda Kaplan.
Richard Pine, my agent and friend.
Heidi Krupp, who always has my back, and Darren Lisiten, who always has hers.
And, of course, Jake and Julia.
INTRODUCTION
What's the Difference?
What's the difference between you and Warren Buffett? Between you and Rachael Ray? What's the difference between you and the guys who launched MySpace or Facebook? Or between you and your boss? Or your boss's boss? What's the difference, for that matter, between you and the success story next door?
I'll tell you what it's not.
It's not that these people were born into money.
It's not that they caught a lucky break.
It's not that they received a windfall like a fat inheritance or a big divorce settlement. Or even that they won the lottery.
It's not that they have an Ivy League education.
And it's not that they are any smarter than you.
It's not even, necessarily, that they earn more money than you each year.
The difference between you and these well-to-do people is not any of the things you suspect it might be.
If you've walked on this planet for any length of time, you've seen what I call The Difference work its magic. You've noticed that there are some people who seem to possess an innate ability to rise above any situation. Even during tough times, they effortlessly soar in social settings, at work, and with money. You've seen them and you've wondered: What do these people have that I don't?
In high school, they always managed to be at the center of the action, whatever that action happened to be. But not because they were class president or quarterback on the football team. Not because they were better looking or evenin today's vernacularmean girls or alpha males who garnered attention and ruled by fear. Theirs was a different sort of magic. Their peers loved them, their parents respected them, even their teachers took extra steps to help them succeed. And, of course, they did exactly that.
At work, they are the leadersnot necessarily bosses, but leaders nonethelessbrimming with confidence that their ideas are the right ideas. They have enough vision to see solutions others don't see, and enough charisma to get colleagueseven those several rungs up the ladderto buy in. And the people they manage are willing to work really hard to both please them and make them look good. No surprise, they sail up the corporate hierarchy with big fat salary increases all along the way.
And in life? Well, people who fully understand The Difference may have not started out with much, but within a short while, they were richer than they ever expected to beand not just in financial terms. They knew what they wanted, they plotted a course, and they arrived. They're not stagnant. That wouldn't do. Every day, they think about what's next and set about achieving it with intention and purpose. And today, as a result, they are surrounded by people they care deeply aboutand who return the favor. They wake up happy and go to sleep fulfilled. And they don't lose sleep at night worrying about paying that next bill or any other financial matter.
Never was that as apparent as it has been during the difficult financial times that faced this countryindeed, the worldduring the past year. As the stock markets took their worst tumble since the Great Depression, as the credit markets ground to a halt, as some banks failed and were eaten up by their flusher rivals, some individuals went into panic mode. Every action was clouded by thoughts of what-if: What if I lose my job? What if my portfolio falls more? What if the price of my house doesn't rebound?