Jean Chatzky - Women with Money: The Judgement-Free Guide to Creating the Joyful, Less Stressed, Purposeful (and, Yes, Rich) Life You Deserve

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Copyright 2019 by Jean Chatzky

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First Edition: March 2019

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Chatzky, Jean Sherman, author.

Title: Women with money : the judgment-free guide to creating the joyful, less stressed, purposeful (and, yes, rich) life you deserve / Jean Chatzky.

Description: First Edition. | New York : Grand Central Publishing, [2019] | Includes index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2018037102 | ISBN 9781538745380 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781478995920 (audio download) | ISBN 9781478995913 (audio book) | ISBN 9781538745373 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: WomenFinance, Personal. | Investments.

Classification: LCC HG179.C5364 2018 | DDC 332.0240082dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018037102

ISBN: 978-1-5387-4538-0 (hardcover), 978-1-5387-4537-3 (ebook)

E3-20190209-JV-NF-ORI

For all the wonderful women in my life, but particularly for Elaine, Julia, and Emily. With love.

SEPTEMBER 2017

Seven of us, all women, are at the White Dog Cafe, a restaurant in a West Philadelphia row house. Its a place more vertical than horizontal, the benefit of which is that there are more nooks and crannies than you get at airy, cavernous restaurants, which means more privacy, more space to really talk.

We are of varying ages and stages, a single woman in her 30s who just bought her first home, a married mom of two in her 40s, three divorced women in their 50s (one of whom is remarried), a two-time cancer survivor in her 60s who just left a forty-year career to embark on a new one, and a 23-year-old in her first job who tagged along with her mom. We are racially and educationally diverse; most have been to college, others through the school of life, and some have multiple or graduate degrees. At the moment, we all work, though some of us have dipped in and out of the workforce over the years to care for kids, for parents, and for ourselves. And most of us have never met before tonight.

That, as it turns out, is a good thing. Because the topic at hand is not one you might feel comfortable discussing with your closest friends. We have gatheredat my invitation, I should addfor the express purpose of talking about money. I know from past experience (this is not my first rodeo) that generating conversation about not the nuts and bolts of finances (best credit cards, mortgage rates, allowances) but about money itself is hard. People are reluctant. Even the women I know well who will talk about most things to a ready listener dont want to talk about this.

So heres what Ive done: I made sure everyone I invited understood that this was the activity for the night. I made sure the wineor beer or vodka, but lets be honest, mostly winewas flowing. And I decided to treat it like a party game. With the help of several of my female colleagues, I came up with about thirty questions designed to spark conversation. Questions like:

The money secret Ive been keeping is .

Did you have a financial wake-up call? What was it?

I spend money because .

Is it okay to hide money from your spouse (if you have one) or your partner in your underwear drawer?

I printed them out in a font large enough and clear enough that none of us would have to reach for our reading glasses, cut them into little strips of paper, put them in a Ziploc bag, and stuck them in my tote. At the gatheringwhich Ive since dubbed a HerMoney Happy Hourwe went around the circle. Everyone, including me, pulled a question or two. And we just started talking. And talking. And talking.

Think for a moment about what it feels like to embark on a romantic relationship after a dry spell. That first touch and your nerves start to tingle. That first kiss and youre thirsty for, well, more.

Thats kind of what it feels like to sit in a room with other womenwomen who are like you and not like you, kind of like you and not at all like youand start talking about your money. Its exciting. Its empowering. Its a little bit scary. But if you start giving yourself over to the experience, the result is that you end up wanting more.

That, it turns out, is a very, very good thing.

A decade ago, I wrote a best-seller called Make Money, Not Excuses. Wrapped in pink, it, like other female-focused books of its time (Prince Charming Isnt Coming, SHOO, Jimmy Choo!) was aimed at convincing women that it was time to step up and take control of our finances.