Hoffman - Marketers Are From Mars, Consumers Are From New Jersey

Marketers Are From Mars, Consumers Are From New Jersey by Bob Hoffman

2015 by Bob Hoffman. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Although every precaution has been taken to verify the accuracy of the information contained herein, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for damages that may result from the use of information contained within.

Ebook conversion: Fowler Digital Services
Formatted by: Ray Fowler

Cover Design: Bonnie Miguel
Interior Design: Bonnie Miguel
Publisher: Type A Group, LLC
For information contact bob@typeagroup.com

ISBN 978-1508977117

Also by
BOB HOFFMAN

The Ad Contrarian

101 Contrarian Ideas About Advertising

Quantum Advertising

Praise For Bob Hoffmans Writing And Speaking

Caustic yet truthful

The Wall Street Journal

Its nice to find a real thinker in the ad business these days

Jack Trout, Forbes.com

Bob is the little child who points out that the emperor is wearing no clothes, while too many of his advertising colleagues go along with the hype because it pays their salaries. This man has a great sense of humour, plenty of relevant agency experience, courage. And his position is ethical, he cares about advertising/marketing and the consumer - the same cant be said for so many consultants peddling hype and fads to unwitting marketers.Im jealous. I wish Id been brave enough to be this rude.

Prof. Byron Sharp, Author How Brands Grow

fresh, surprising, in-your-face insights into how just about everything we take as gospel in advertising is wrong. What Bob Hoffman is saying is thatwere going to have to come up with a whole new language and belief system for what advertising is supposed to do, based not on clichs, but on how things really are.

Andrew Jaffe, Executive Director, Clio Awards

I began discussing these (ideas) with agencies and staff the day after finishing the book

Neil Golden, CMO, McDonalds

(Bobs) presentation on our industry was the best Ive ever seen. It was smart, well written, and it was at times, hysterically funny.

Joe Erwin, President, Erwin Penland.

...the most entertaining talk given during Advertising Week Europe (or any conference for that matter.)

AdRants

Let me once again say - BRAVO!... a highlight of the week.

Erica Farber, President & CEO, Radio Advertising Bureau

... the best presentation Ive ever had the pleasure of witnessing, truly.

Cam Green, CEO, GreenRubino

Bob is one of the smartest guys in the business. His thoughts are not obscured by fads, whats au courant, or quotidian bs. He is a straight-shooter. Honest, to the point and fact-based. Qualities sorely missing in the world today.

George Tannenbaum, author, Ad Aged

This book is an insightful, hilarious look at whats wrong with advertising agencies, with marketing in general, and maybe even the world overall. But it isnt just for people who work in ad agencies. Its for anybody who ever saw an ad that sucked and wondered how it got that way. Its for anybody who works in any kind of job involving generation of new ideas. And yes, its for anybody who enjoys Mad Men. Bob Hoffman is smarter than Don Draper. Hes funnier than Don Draper. And hes better looking than... Okay, like I said, Bob Hoffman is definitely smarter and funnier than Don Draper.

Joe Norris, CEO Emeritus, SHS

Whether you like it or not, you now have disciples around the country who will be preaching your gospel.

Bill Lavidge, CEO, The Lavidge Company

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the funny, cynical, immature bastards I worked with in the agency business.

It is not dedicated to all the venal, duplicitous, scheming bastards I also worked with.

Authors Notes

Most of the material in this book first appeared elsewhere.

The bulk comes from my blog, The Ad Contrarian . Some is taken from articles Ive written for publications or talks Ive given. And some of it is just stuff I found lying around at Taco Bell.

Although some of the data referred to have changed since the pieces were written, Ive left most intact. Some data I have updated for clarity. Ive edited some pieces to remove repetitive points, and Ive edited other pieces to remove things that, in retrospect, make me seem like a real fucking idiot.

In creating a book that is essentially a compilation, one faces a problem. When writing essays each piece must stand on its own. So, for example, if I say in an essay that interactivity with advertising is a delusion, I have to back it up with a fact like less than 1 person in a thousand clicks on a banner ad. In a compilation, the repetition of these proof points can become tedious. I have tried to minimize them, but I recognize that, of necessity, some points are made more than once. Sorry.

I want to thank Bonnie Miguel for the design and formatting of the book, as well as her infinite patience, and Sharon Krinsky for many ideas that appear here, including the idea that lead to the title.

I also want to thank Mia for not throwing me out a window.

If you ever have trouble falling asleep, I suggest you try writing a book. The minute the document appears on your computer screen the eyelids get heavy and the breathing slows. This is my third book and Ive never been so well rested.

Like my other books, this one is mostly a compilation of stuff I wrote for other reasons. In contemporary terms this is known as re-purposing. In earlier times it was known as plagiarizing yourself. Ill let you decide which is more accurate.

My last book, 101 Contrarian Ideas About Advertising , reached number one on the Amazon advertising paperback hit parade and stayed there for a good while. At the rates Amazon pays, my heirs should be entitled to over 120 dollars.

Since my last book I have retired from the advertising agency business and become a part-time consultant, part-time speaker, part-time writer, and part-time bum. I find I am reasonably good at the consulting, speaking, and writing, and alarmingly capable as a bum.

Fortunately, the advertising and marketing businesses havent gotten any less silly and there is still a great deal of material for a cynical old bastard to work with.

In fact, the marketing industry is currently in the midst of a mass delusion of epic proportions. This includes the gross exaggeration of the role of brands; the mangling of the role of ad agencies; the mistaking of gimmicks for trends; the abandonment of the most powerful consumer group the world has ever seen; the wishful thinking of social media marketing; and the fraud and corruption of digital advertising. Its quite an appetizing menu.

Well, my job is to try to stick a fork in all this nonsense.

If this book goes a small way toward accomplishing that, Ill be happy and youll be entertained. Lets go.

MARKETERS ARE FROM MARS,
CONSUMERS ARE FROM NEW JERSEY

Marketers and consumers (and by consumers I mean, ya know, people) are from different worlds.

Consumers are basically simple creatures with straightforward needs and easily observed behaviors.

Marketers are complicated critters with strange customs and mysterious beliefs.