Eddie L. Long - What a Man Wants, What a Woman Needs: The Secret to Successful, Fulfilling Relationships

WHAT A
MAN
WANTS,WHAT A
Woman
NEEDS

The Secret to Successful, Fulfilling Relationships

EDDIE LONG

I dedicate this book to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Also, I dedicate this to my wife, Vanessa Long, my sons Eric, Edward and Jared, and my daughter TaylorThank you for unselfishly allowing me to give myself to the world. I also give a special thanks to the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church congregation in Lithonia, Georgia.

Copyright 2002 by Eddie Long.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Thomas Nelson, Inc., titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

Library on Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Long, Eddie.
What a man wants, what a woman needs : the secret to successful, fulfilling relationships / Eddie Long.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-7852-6572-6
1. MarriageBiblical teaching. 2. Man-woman relationshipsBiblical teaching. I. Title.
BX680.M35 L66 2002
248.4dc21

2002003334

Printed in the United States of America

09 10 11 12 13 QW 22 21 20 19 18

CONTENTS

M arriage can be the closest thing to heaven or hell on this earth.

Such honest observations and statements make Bishop Longs book What a Man Wants, What a Woman Needs a must-read.

No platitudes here. No easy formula-driven solutionsonly a biblically based call to kingdom living.

Bishop Longs thesisthe missing element in the kingdom of God is real kingdom men and real kingdom womenrelates to every Christian home.

Calling men to be responsible is a timely message when many men have stepped down from their godly servant leadership roles in their homes. Calling women to become walking epistles is a message of hope for our worlds future.

Fidelity, purity, servanthood, responsibility, covenant keeping, and rising beyond your failures are just some of the challenges issued by Bishop Long.

Most important, Bishop Long calls on the kingdom, an army of prayer warriors, prophets, preachers, evangelists, pastors, and teachers anointed to work together, with no place for ego.

Bishop Longs honesty and vulnerability make this book authentic and powerful.

It is my joy to call Eddie L. Long my brother and friend. And it is my privilege to recommend his life-changing message to you.

Dr. John C. Maxwell
Author, Speaker and Founder
The INJOY Group

Chapter 1
WHAT A MAN WANTS

S ome things are just naturally interesting. As much as half of the worlds population at any given time in human history have thought about what a man wants. The response that immediately comes to mindthat a man wants sexis only a part of the answer.

We could probably find a hundred different versions of this chapter title adorning the covers of the worlds magazines and tabloids every monthalong with ten times as many pop answers to the quiz. However, I wonder how many of the writers, researchers, and editors would turn to the ultimate Source for the right answer.

Im convinced that most men long for something they would find nearly impossible to describe on their own. The truth is that we all need help defining our chief longings. We can assemble a certain amount of information on our own, but we need to go to the Original Equipment Manufacturers Manual to help us finish the job.

Men dont ask for much (just ask one). With virtually no regard to his own appearance, manners, or attractiveness, every man secretly hopes for a woman whose beauty takes his breath away and jump-starts his heart at first sight.

Of course, he also hopes she possesses a liberal dose of his mothers ways to care for the little boy lingering inside his hulking shell (and hidden far from view). Naturally, he also expects his ideal woman to be the worlds best lover, the best cook in town, his lifetime best friend, and his most loyal supporter all rolled into one neat package.

Thats not asking for much, is it? The answer is yes and no. First, we must accept the inevitable reality check: Sir, no woman on earth has what it takes to totally fulfill you.

God gives men and women just enough of Himself, just enough mystery, spice, or something nice, to make us take notice of one another. Yet at most, each of us possesses just a few pieces of the puzzle, and they will never be enough to satisfy. Why? God expects us to come home every day and linger in His presence.

The core of every true desire and longing (before they get perverted or tainted by evil or magnified by our own foolish choices) is our deep hunger for our Creator. David the prophet, priest, and king said, As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God (Ps. 42:1).

A KINGDOM MAN LOOKS FOR FAR MORE

Second, what a man wants varies directly with the nature of the man doing the wanting. A kingdom man, whose mind, will, and appetites have been honed and realigned by the Word of God, will look for far more in a potential wife than will a man of the flesh and the unsaved world.

Our culture leaves very little for the imagination to work on when it comes to what a worldly man wants. Basically, it boils down to sex and control. If it sounds animalistic, thats because it is.

Yet even an animalistic, worldly man cant help responding when he comes across a kingdom member of the other half who lives and walks according to Gods plan. As far as I can tell, everyone sits up and takes notice when a kingdom woman walks into a room. There is something about a godly woman that makes you want to put a capital W in front of the word Woman.

Now, I dont want anyone to think a kingdom man is hormonally dead. If a man is living as he should in the sight of God, his hormonal balance is better than most. He just refuses to let hormones drive his car. He has a much longer and more important want list than the single-page cheat sheet most men carry the one titled Sexual Attraction.

HE WANTS A KINGDOM WOMAN

Perhaps we should rephrase the question driving this chapter to read: What does a kingdom man want? That automatically provides the answer: He wants a kingdom woman.

If you want to know what a kingdom woman is, you have to talk with the King. Fortunately, He has a lot to say about the women in His kingdom. In fact, He put it right up front where all the action began.

You dont have to be a Bible scholar or college graduate to gather from the book of Genesis that when God made man, He went to the dirt (Gen. 2:7). Adams sons are still a little dusty and funkyespecially when theyve been working in the noonday sun or doing physical labor. The modern models come in all colors, sizes, and shapes, but all of them still have Adams earthy ability to be downright nasty to those with more refined tastes and fresher deodorant.

Now God didnt use dirt to make the first woman. He had a