Nancy D. OReilly - Leading Women: 20 Influential Women Share Their Secrets to Leadership, Business, and Life

NANCY D. OREILLY, PSYD

Part One:
Mastering Our External Environment

Part Two:
Mastering Our Internal Environment

Part Three:
Connecting to Support Each Other

This book is for my daughters Lauren, Leigh, and Ragan; my granddaughters Alexis, Isabel, Dain, PJ, Sky, Raven, and Aspen; my grandson Tristan; and my great-grandson Julian.

What an incredible time to be a woman! Never before have women been so powerful. Yet, for many of us, our relationship with power continues to be fraught with insecurity, ambivalence, and confusion. We want it but do not know how to get it and are afraid to admit we seek it. When we have it, we hide it. We are often afraid to use it because our society punishes powerful women in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Our relationship with power bewilders us, which is why I wanted to create this book. We need to sort out our mixed feelings about power so we can get it, claim it, and use it to create a better world. In addition, we should have a wonderful time creating power for ourselves, and feeling connected with the sisterhood of smart, amazing women. How is that for a tall order?

Women are well on their way to claiming power. In just ten generations, women have become more or less equal to men under the law. We currently attain more college degrees than men and hold the highest government office in several lands. Womens organized efforts have developed the hospitals, schools, museums, libraries, and social supports that enrich the civilized life of our communities. Everywhere you look groups of women are organizing community support for those who need it, solving problems, and addressing issues that need a womans touch.

That is very good news, worthy of a champagne toast to our smart, determined foremothers who marched and raised their voices to achieve these gains. However, we all know it is not the whole story. While we have accomplished much in just a few decades, women as a whole still do not exercise power in ways that are equal to mens.

In the United States, women still earn less than men (averaging seventy-eight cents to a mans dollar). Women fill few government leadership roles and occupy fewer than 20 percent of corporate C-level jobs. The majority of American women work outside the home, yet they still take an ever greater responsibility than their partners do for household and family chores. The Equal Rights Amendment was introduced in 1923, and after failing to meet its ratification deadline in 1982, it is still not a lawso womens rights are not yet protected under the U.S. Constitution. Even worse, millions of women all over the world still lack basic human rights and are subjected to violence at staggering rates. It is very clear that womens work is not yet done.

Women of the postWorld War II baby boom famously worked for change in the sixties (many continue to do so today), and younger women are also rising to the cause. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, pursues her mission to help women overcome obstacles within themselves, and she urges us to sit at the table. Like many women, Sheryl has downplayed her success throughout her life, accurately perceiving that successful women pay a popularity penalty. (In contrast, success boosts mens popularity.)

Sheryl discovered that finding her voice and speaking out helped her overcome a lot of her insecurities. Examples include her TED Talk at the TEDWomen 2010 conference, her book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, and her LeanIn.org foundation. Her book sold more than 150,000 copies in its first week and has been on the nonfiction bestseller list ever since. Her clear messages: (1) women should strongly pursue their ambitions instead of putting on the brakes, and (2) women need to make their spouses truly equal partners at home. The result, she declares, will be more profitable businesses, healthier families, and better communities for all of us.

Although Sheryls book is inspiring, it offers few specific tools. That is where this book comes in. I asked nineteen other veteran thought leaders to tell us, What are the keys women must acquire if they are to unlock their personal power and create a better world? The answers to this question provide insights for translating ideas into action. I have also added my own thoughts regarding this question, which you will find at the end of Part Two.

I created the WomenConnect4Good.org foundation with the mission to help women ignite their lives and connect with each other to change our world. This book is a continuation of that vision. Ive had so much fun working on social-profit (nonprofit) projects with other women throughout my life, and it has been an honor to create positive change for women, children, and families.

This book provides tools for making your voice heard and for gaining the respect and opportunities you need to claim your rightful place, shape your life, provide for your family, and invent a better society. Our authors show how womens leadership benefits the world, and they list the qualities, skills, and events that help women create change. Most inspiring of all, they provide examples of women working together with others to create change today.

When you read about a great technique in the following pages, apply it in your own life and then share it with another woman. Lets create a world in which every woman is able to claim her power, see her advice and expertise valued and respected, conquer her internal barriers, and work together with other women and men. If the hand that rocks the cradle is ever going to help rule the world, it must reach out to clasp another hand. What steps will you take today to tip the scales permanently toward this better world?

A woman must exercise courage to push herself forward into a world that often feels unwelcoming if not outright hostile. One thing is certain, without the support and encouragement of our sisterhood, few of us would carry on. While you do this important work, remember to take the time to bring your women friends together to celebrate your successes.

The authors in this first section offer specific tools and techniques in their answers to my question, What are the keys women must acquire if they are to unlock their personal power and create a better world? Each of these authors is a thought leader in her profession who works to inspire and educate other women. After reading and adopting the strategies in this section, you will feel more comfortable exercising your power so that you can move forward confidently to achieve your goals.

As women sharpen their skills, they will continue to advance in the former off-limit areas of corporate business and government. Look around you. Reach out to other like-minded women in your world so you can help each other. When a woman meets success using her feminine skills, she can and should help others learn to do the same thing. Together, we can accomplish the powerful results we want to achieve.

We will shift from the oppressive, outdated, patriarchal model of power-over to an expansive model of power-to that transforms how we lead, and how we live.