. Instaread - Summary of the 4-Hour Body: by Timothy Ferriss 

Guide to

Steve Harveys

Act Like a Lady,Think Like a Man

What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

by

Instaread

Please Note

This is a companion to the original book.

Copyright 2016 by Instaread. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the prior written consent of the publisher.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: The publisher and author make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of these contents and disclaim all warranties such as warranties of fitness for a particular purpose. The author or publisher is not liable for any damages whatsoever. The fact that an individual or organization is referred to in this document as a citation or source of information does not imply that the author or publisher endorses the information that the individual or organization provided. This concise companion is unofficial and is not authorized, approved, licensed, or endorsed by the original books author or publisher.

Table of Contents

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is a dating advice book by comedian and radio personality Steve Harvey. As a man, Harvey has insight into how men think and what they want out of relationships. He honed that insight by providing advice to callers on his talk show, The Steve Harvey Morning Show . By explaining men, Harvey promises to help women learn how to get more out of relationships, and how to find and keep a good man.

Men and women are fundamentally different. At the same time, all men are fundamentally the same. Men want to feel powerful and necessary. They want to be financially successful, and provide for their woman and family. They like to fix things quickly, and are not interested in complicated emotional discussions.

Men also want sex. For the right woman, they are willing to wait for sex. But if sex is withheld for too long, they will go looking for it elsewhere, even if it means cheating.

Women can establish strong relationships with men by setting clear guidelines and respecting themselves. If women do not set firm guidelines, men will believe they can get sex and relationship benefits without commitment. Men also need to know clearly what women expect from a relationship. Women who draw boundaries and wait 90 days before having sex will be able to weed out unacceptable men and keep good ones.

Women need to let men be strong providers. Even though women often work and can take care of themselves, men still want to feel like they are important and in control. Women who want a solid relationship need to let men be men.

Steve Harvey is a comedian. He is also the host of the daily syndicated radio program The Steve Harvey Morning Show and of the television game show Family Feud.

Denene Miller assisted Steve Harvey with the writing of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.

Marjorie Bridges Harvey is Steve Harveys third wife. They married in 2007.

Shirley Strawberry is the co-host of The Steve Harvey Morning Show .

1. Men are driven to succeed first. It is only after they are successful that they can focus on relationships.
2. Men do not express their love through communication and caring as women do. Instead, men express their love through demonstrations of ownership and control.
3. Men do not want to talk; they want to fix things.
4. Men always want to have sex with women. It is important for women to wait 90 days to have sex if they want a lasting relationship with a man.
5. Men will cheat if they can, or if they are not getting enough sex. Women must make clear that cheating is unacceptable.
6. Women must draw boundaries and establish guidelines in order to make men commit to a serious relationship.
7. Women who are too strong and independent drive men away.
8. Men are often not as enthusiastic about getting married as women are. Therefore, if men do not propose, women must take control and insist that they do so.

Men are driven to succeed first. It is only after they are successful that they can focus on relationships.

Analysis

Men are defined by their material achievements. They have to have a secure position in the world and a good income before they feel comfortable with themselves. They are driven to achieve by the desire to impress women. Yet, at the same time, they will not devote time and energy to a relationship until they have firmly established themselves. Women must recognize that a man will put his dreams first, and understand that a man who is not successful or secure will not devote himself to a relationship as a woman might wish.

One 2015 study conducted by Lean In found that women are less ambitious at workbut only after they've been employed for a while. The study surveyed almost 300,000 employees at 118 companies. What it found was that men and women at the beginning of their careers wanted to advance as much as possible. Over time, though, men became more determined to reach the top, and women became less so. Similarly, a Bain study found that more women wanted to become senior managers than men did when they were just starting their careers. But this quickly flipped. Around 43 percent of women just beginning their jobs wanted to get to senior management. After two years that number dropped to 16 percent. [1]

What causes this dramatic change? One explanation could be that women begin to have children, and so become less interested in their careers. But the Bain study didn't find any difference between women with families and those without. Instead, the main factor seemed to have been bias in the workplace. Women interviewed in the Bain study said that they felt they were not treated equally with men. Thus, if women are less ambitious and career focused, it may be because their ambitions are less rewarded. As they realize they cannot advance in their jobs, women may cease to be as invested in those jobs. Conversely, male commitment to careers may be due to the way that commitment is honored and encouraged.

Since boys are pushed from an early age to succeed, be tough, and provide, careers and financial success may be more important to men than to women. This means they often place relationships second, while women place them first. Understanding this can help improve communication in a relationship.

Men do not express their love through communication and caring as women do. Instead, men express their love through demonstrations of ownership and control.

Analysis

Womens love is powerful, selfless, and inexhaustible. A woman gives everything to the man she loves, and is kind, supportive and loyal. Women want men to love them in the same way, but this is not possible. Men do love, but they express it differently. Men show their love in three ways: by professing, providing, and protecting.

Professing means that men declare that a woman belongs to them or is theirs. Providing means they give wives or girlfriends clothing, shelter, food, and other necessities. Protecting means that men defend the women they care about, and keep them from danger.

There is some scientific evidence that men and women express love differently. A 2012 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, for example, looked at 168 mostly white couples in rural Pennsylvania. They found that when men loved their wives, they were more likely to suggest doing activities together, from sex, to vacations, to household chores. When women loved their husbands, on the other hand, they were more likely to be agreeable or accommodating, and were actually less likely to initiate sex. [2]