Steve Rohr - Scared Speechless: 9 Ways to Overcome Your Fears and Captivate Your Audience

SCARED SPEECHLESS

SCARED SPEECHLESS

9 ways

TO OVERCOME YOUR FEARS AND CAPTIVATE YOUR AUDIENCE

STEVE ROHR and DR. SHIRLEY IMPELLIZZERI

Copyright 2016 by Steve Rohr and Dr. Shirley Impellizzeri

All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher, The Career Press.

SCARED SPEECHLESS
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We dedicate this book to Steven Villescas, Jr., who is unwavering in the belief that anything is achievable through hard work and an open heart, and proves it every day.

This endeavor would never have been possible without the enormous love and support of some wonderful people. Tony Sweet and Ann Walker at Universal Broadcasting Network generously gave us a platform to explore the intersection of psychology and everyday life. One topic we covered is our primal fear of public speaking, which sparked the idea for this book. Wed like to give a special thanks to our radio show production team, who made the real magic happen: John Williams, Natalia Renteria, and Gabe Harder. Marilyn Atlas, our fearless literary manager, believed in the project from the beginning and took it to our agent, Mike Farris, who found the perfect home for it at Career Press.

Steve Rohr is indebted to his high school competitive speech coach Myrna Watson, who helped him realize he had a voice and used it to win two consecutive individual state championships. He will be forever grateful to his college coaches Dr. Cindy Larson-Casselton and Dr. Cynthia Carver for their extraordinary guidance. In remembrance of the late Daryl Koenig, who gave Steve the opportunity to deliver the biggest speech of his life, which opened up the biggest door. Additionally, coaching the Arizona State University speech team as a graduate assistant under the tutelage of Dr. Clark Olson offered Steve his first opportunity to guide students to national championships. Further, he is especially thankful to Dr. Chris Freeman whose fine friendship and world-class advice never falter. Finally, to his mom, Lois Burgdorfer, whose unconditional love and limitless encouragement always makes the impossible, possible.

Dr. Shirley Impellizzeri would like to thank her first two mentors, Dr. Lawanda Katzman-Staenberg and Dr. Paul Abramson, who saw her potential before she could see it in herself. She will be forever grateful to Dr. Peter A. Levine and Dr. Dan Siegel, who taught her everything she knows about the brain-body connection. A special thanks to her little Sydney, who is now five feet taller than her mom, and continues to amaze her with her fearless and compassionate spirit. And to Jackie, who is forever encouraging and a wonderful support.

Public speaking is the #1 fear in America. Death is second.

Yes, wed rather die than give a speech. Wed also be more willing to get stuck in small spaces, make nice with spiders, or slither with snakes. Thats why millions have made it a mission to avoid public speaking at all costs. Perhaps youre one of them! By luck or crafty maneuvering, you managed to evade that mandatory public speaking course in school. Professionally, youve also deftly defied the need to speechify by conveniently volunteering others or hiding in the bathroom. You know who you are! Maybe youve tried to conquer your fears. You took a class, went to a workshop, read books, or watched training videos to shake your nerves. Despite your very best efforts, nothing worked and youre back to square one. Weve got big news: Youre not alone and its not your fault. There are real reasons why nothing has worked.

First, youve been flat-out lied to. Anyone who tells you that nerves can completely disappear doesnt know much about how the brain works. Not only is this scientifically unsound, it automatically assumes nerves are bad. In fact, nerves are great! Well show how this can be and how to handle yours when public speaking.

Second, like many people, youve probably been misled by myths. However, some of the most popular ideas about public speaking (for example, imagining your audience in their underwear) are not only borderline creepy, they actually compete with your true nature, which ultimately prevents you from realizing your full potential as a speaker. Consider what this underwear advice conveys: Audiences are scary and to be avoided and Whatever you do, dont connect with them in a genuine way. We think both of these claims are showstoppers, and not in the good way. Its because we know for a fact that audiences are not your enemy. On the contrary, unless youre in a prickly political debate, all audiences want you to succeed. We know its hard to believe, but after we tell you why, you will never look at the audience as an adversary again. Further, failing to build a real rapport with your audience defeats the entire point of public speaking. Again, you might see this as the perfect hack, but in fact, it just holds you back.

Third, no matter what youve read, it was most likely written by someone whose primary expertise isnt public speaking. Bona fide academic public speaking experts write college textbooks almost exclusively. So dont expect to find an advanced degree in speech communication and any formal teaching experience among the authors of general market public speaking books. Dont get us wrong. Were not saying these writers arent experts in their respective fields; theyre just not specialists in public speaking. Many of these fine folks have a strong business background or make a living giving motivational speeches, but success in business doesnt make you an authority on public address. And just because you can deliver a speech, doesnt mean you can teach others to do it. Think of it this way: If you need a wisdom tooth pulled, youd want someone trained in dental surgery to do it, right? So why settle when it comes to public speaking?

The other reason we believe these resources dont deliver real results is that they miss a critical component of public speaking: how your brain factors into the equation. In essence, we believe the why has always been short-changed by the how when it comes to public speaking. For instance, were all in such a hurry to get over being nervous that we dont bother asking why were nervous in the first place, hence, the inspiration to envision our audience in their skivvies. However, understanding the why of your behavior is absolutely critical to becoming an authentic, confident, and powerful speaker. Scared Speechless explores the intriguing intersection of speech communication and psychology, and shows that by understanding your brain (the why), you can evolve into an authentic, confident, and powerful speaker (the how).