Claudia Winkleman - Quite

A book? Hahahahaha

Tilda, 14

Seriously Mum, whos going to read this?

Jake, 17

Can I highly recommend a David Walliams instead?

Arthur, 8

HQ

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First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2020

Copyright Claudia Winkleman 2020

Claudia Winkleman asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

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Ebook Edition October 2020 ISBN: 9780008421670

Version 2020-09-22

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For Jake, Tilda and Bear

First things first, thank you so much for picking this up and considering a book from me a short, orange woman who occasionally reads out loud on the telly. Even if youre going to chuck it to the other side of the bookshop, can I just say Im extremely grateful. I am an enormous fan of a book, so am over the moon you are contemplating this one when we both know there are so many great ones on offer.

I want to be frank about what you can expect from me. If youre looking for a very serious tome, and you dont like anything flippant or trivial or lighthearted, or if youre interested in the Chartists or the pandemic or want to learn something practical and useful then this isnt the book for you.

Dont get me wrong, I have covered some pressing issues. I think I have been persuasive on the subject of voicemail and fairly brutal about the effect of fitting rooms on my wellbeing. Im confident I have made a strong case for why you cant sleep with someone who doesnt have the vigour to get you both in a cab and Ive had a good look at the reasons why spray tan and eyeliner are essential to my confidence.

Ive tried to be as honest as I can, but it should be said that I am prone to exaggeration. At one point I say Id be happy if the Christmas decorations went up in June but on reflection this probably isnt quite true. I love Christmas for many reasons but the amount of times Id have to hoover pine needles from the living room floor over a six-month period doesnt bear thinking about.

Ive written a little about art, because when I started to try to identify the things I really care about this came tumbling out, alongside quite a specific treatise about different sorts of boots. Great paintings have an enormous power to capture a moment, to really stop you in your tracks and make you completely forget about anything else, but we should all own boots that give off a certain attitude too. They have the power to make you walk like someone who is on their way to a wild party with a roguish rockstar, even if you are actually just going to Tesco Metro for some eggs.

Ive also covered fringe maintenance, because my hair has basically given me a career. I talk about my kids a lot (they will never read this) and relationships (Ive told my husband Ive been freakishly positive about him were safe) and I fear I may have got a bit preachy when I write about good manners and wearing only black. Ive also found that I have some quite strong opinions on the people we do and definitely dont need in our lives.

And why is it called Quite ? Well, because its my favourite word. Its a raised eyebrow, an aside. Well, quite . But at the same time, its firm, restrained and it manages your expectations:

I think youd quite like this film.

That egg sandwich was quite good.

And thats what we need, I think. Things to be quite good. Were bombarded with a lot of images of perfect these days Instagram, fashion, general showing off. But perfect is boring. High expectations are a killer. Its certainly possible to make the perfect omelette (see ), but the perfect relationship? The perfect New Years Eve? Its a solid no.

The thing about quite good is that it leaves you somewhere to go. Because, so long as you have great friends, peanut butter and the opportunity for a nap then everything is broadly fine, and there is always the chance that something (or someone) will come along and blow your socks off. We all know that the best dates are the ones you almost didnt go on and the best nights out are those that were supposed to be just a quick vodka round the corner but ended up with dancing and laughing till the mascara ran down your face.

So I would like to make a case for the underrated and the imperfect. You can buy that very glamorous kaftan and you can spend three days planning the most impeccable dinner party, but you probably wont feel like Beyonc on a yacht and the award-winning cheese board is not why the evening was fun. Can I recommend instead that you put on a good pair of jeans, smear (and I really do mean smear) some eyeliner in the vicinity of your eyelids and just go about your day. If the kids have done their homework, if the person youre with is kind and knows how to laugh at themselves, if youve remembered to call your best friend back then that is really quite good. Everything else is just sprinkles.

Yes, on first glance this might feel like an odd place to start. Wait, Ive just started reading, shes telling me to have a snooze? The answer is going to be an almighty yes. Yes to napping, yes to sleep, yes to being idle. I will explain

When I was about twelve my mum had lunch with a brain surgeon. Im not sure why. She was at a big work thing and, by happenstance, found herself sitting next to him. After an excellent and fascinating chat about how the brain works and funding for the NHS he said to her, By the way, always let your children sleep, its the greatest life insurance we have. The brain grows and the body fixes itself while at rest. Anyway, have a great day, it was nice to meet you. Thats all he said, he didnt really elaborate and she didnt ask a gazillion questions but from that day onwards everything changed.

It wasnt subtle, it wasnt slow and there wasnt a big explanation. She came home and simply said, I will never tell you to get up at the weekends again. I know, right? He must have been pretty compelling. And that was it. We were allowed, encouraged even, to get into bed. Homeworks a bit tough? Stop looking at your physics and just get back under the covers and close your eyes. Here, Ill draw the curtains. Before we watch Dynasty why dont you curl up on the sofa and try and have a catnap? Thats how it went.