Heather Davediuk Gingrich - Restoring the Shattered Self: A Christian Counselors Guide to Complex Trauma

SECOND EDITION

InterVarsity Press
P.O. Box 1400, Downers Grove, IL 60515-1426
ivpress.com

Second edition 2020 by Heather Davediuk Gingrich
First edition 2013 by Heather Davediuk Gingrich

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from InterVarsity Press.

InterVarsity Press is the book-publishing division of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA, a movement of students and faculty active on campus at hundreds of universities, colleges, and schools of nursing in the United States of America, and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students. For information about local and regional activities, visit intervarsity.org.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

While any stories in this book are true, some names and identifying information may have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Cover design and image montage: Autumn Short
Interior design: Daniel van Loon
Images: marble photo: Wesley Tingey / unsplash.com/photos
blue glazed ceramic surface: Zen Rial / Moment Collection / Getty Images
gold background: studiocasper / E+ / Getty Images

ISBN 978-0-8308-3189-0 (digital)

ISBN 978-0-8308-2866-1 (print)

This digital document has been produced by Nord Compo.

This book is dedicated to my husband, Fred Gingrich, who has been my biggest fan for over thirty-five years; to five-year-old Rico, who made me a Grandma-mother and who was only a thought in Gods mind when I wrote the first edition of this book; and to Haley, who is living proof of the resiliency of the human spirit and Gods power to heal.

HALEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! In shock I looked at the young woman I had seen for only a couple of counseling sessions. The exposed parts of her face, neck, and arms were covered in cuts and scrapes, with bandages hiding what appeared to be more serious wounds. Gradually Haleys horrific story unfolded. A new Christian, Haley had succumbed to the wishes of a group of women from her new church who, knowing that Haley had recently attempted suicide and was plagued with nightmares and overwhelming flashbacks of childhood torture, wanted to pray for her healing. In the midst of the prayer time one of the women discerned demonic activity and proceeded with deliverance prayer, attempting to cast out the offending evil spirits. Without any warning, Haley, not aware of what she was doing but desperate to get away, jumped up and blindly started to run, not realizing that she was heading toward a plate-glass window until her body hurtled through it, shattering the glass with the impact.

I wanted to just sit there in the session and cry as I saw with my own eyes the damage caused by these well-intentioned but ignorant women. I managed to hold my tears in check at the time, but now, twenty years later, I am letting them flow as I write about this incident. I recognize that these women had sincerely been doing their best to help Haley. They saw her pain and did not want her to continue to suffer. I did not know this client very well yet, but her flashbacks were a good indicator that she was a trauma survivor. Unfortunately, the prayer groups lack of understanding about the process of healing for complex trauma survivors not only prevented them from helping her but resulted in further trauma.

Physical wounds usually heal in time, but emotional ones often take longer. The saddest part of this particular incident is not that Haley had to be rushed to the ER for medical treatment, but that the women who had prayed for her subsequently abandoned her emotionally. Understandably they were freaked out. But rather than acknowledge that they had made a tactical error in their attempts to be helpful, they did what people often dothey blamed Haley, the victim. Haley stayed connected to the church for a short while, but without anyone else coming alongside her, and finding it difficult to deal with the constant rejection she faced from the women who had vowed to support her in her journey toward healing, she eventually stopped attending. The shattered glass of the window that broke due to the impact of Haleys body crashing through it somehow seemed symbolic to me not only of those broken relationships but also of Haleys fragmented sense of self and personal history.