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Suzanne Braun Levine - How We Love Now: Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood

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Suzanne Braun Levine How We Love Now: Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood
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Where do we find the relationships that matter in our second adulthood? Susanne Braun Levine, author of Inventing the Rest of Our Lives, anwers these questions with charming wit, experience, and intrigue in How We Love Now, with a new introduction by the author.
Today, women in their fifties, sixties, and seventies are defining a totally new love narrative. Whether they are already experiencing intimacyand great sex!or longing to, these women are discovering unparalleled freedom and joy. Continuing Suzanne Braun Levines ongoing conversation with women in Second Adulthood, How We Love Now draws on her interviews with women across the country. Some are finding new relationshipswith younger men, other women, or rediscovered childhood sweetheartswhile others are enriching longstanding ones. (Of course, the Internet has opened up a new world of opportunities.) Their funny, heart-wrenching, and inspiring stories prove that this pioneering generation of women is continuing to take risksand enjoying life more than ever.

Suzanne Braun Levine: author's other books


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A PLUME BOOK HOW WE LOVE NOW SUZANNE BRAUN LEVINE is a writer editor and - photo 1

A PLUME BOOK

HOW WE LOVE NOW

SUZANNE BRAUN LEVINE is a writer, editor, and nationally recognized authority on women, media matters, and family issues. Editor of Ms. magazine from its founding in 1972 until 1989, and editor in chief of the Columbia Journalism Review, she currently blogs for Huff/Post50, Next Avenue, and AARP. This is the third in her series of books about women in Second Adulthood, following Inventing the Rest of Our Lives and Fifty Is the New Fifty. Her other books include Father Courage and an oral history of Bella Abzug (with Mary Thom). She also produced a Peabody Awardwinning documentary about American women. She has appeared on Oprah and the Today show, among others, and lectures widely.

Praise for How We Love Now

Its still rare to read anything this thoughtful about our age group, especially about caregiving. And caregetting. None of us is too good at that yet.

Ellen Goodman, columnist

[Levine writes about how] going out of the comfort zone and risk-taking are part and parcel of building new intimacies. The road from dependence to independence to interdependence is part of the journey toward finding a peaceful place of reconciliation between conflicts of the past and present, work and love, who you are and who you thought you should be.

Marcia G. Yerman, The Huffington Post

The metaphor I prefer is Suzanne Braun Levines fertile void, a space of unremitting unknowningness.... It is here in the tendrils of the fertile void that something new can begin to sproutif you surrender to it and dont numb yourself with busyness.

Jane Fonda, in Prime Time: Love, Health, Sex, Fitness, Friendship, Spirit; Making the most of all of your life

Suzannes messages about women in second adulthood are wise, witty, and hopeful. After hearing her, we know that the best is yet to come!

Ellyn Cohen, program chair, Rockland, New York, Jewish Family Service

Her words are confirmation that the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual changes I am experiencing are not only normal but desirable.

Audience member, The Transition Network, Columbus, Ohio

Through research, her own journalistic prowess, and the engaging stories of many women, Levine etches a reassuring picture of the many forms love can take in the lives of women.

Thelma Reese, ComingofAge.org

How We Love Now is the latest, masterful installment in a trilogy that, I believe, will become the new guidebooks for a second half of life well-lived.

Marc Freedman, founder of Civic Ventures, author of The Big Shift

How We Love Now has the wonderful features of Levines previous booksthe ease with ideas (e.g. brain research), the ability to make them accessible, the parallel ability to see patterns in our lives and still give people their particularity, and the common sense of her advice, its plausibility. My maturing amygdala is lighting up.

Catharine R. Stimpson, university professor and dean emerita, New York University

Whether youre single or married, widowed or divorced, this book will remind you of how many opportunities for gettingas well as givinglove already exist in your life, and of the many more that await you.

Jane Adams, author of Im Still Your Mother

Also by Suzanne Braun Levine

Fifty Is the New Fifty:
Ten Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood

Inventing the Rest of Our Lives:
Women in Second Adulthood

Father Courage:
What Happens When Men Put Family First

Bella Abzug:
How One Tough Broad from the Bronx Fought Jim Crow and Joe McCarthy, Pissed Off Jimmy Carter, Battled for the Rights of Women and Workers, Rallied Against War and for the Planet, and Shook Up Politics Along the Way, an oral history (with Mary Thom)

How We Love Now

Women Talk About Intimacy After 50

Suzanne Braun Levine

How We Love Now Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood - image 2

A PLUME BOOK

PLUME

Published by Penguin Group

Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)

Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephens Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd)

Penguin Group (Australia), 707 Collins Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3008, Australia

(a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd)

Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi 110 017, India

Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd)

Penguin Books, Rosebank Office Park, 181 Jan Smuts Avenue, Parktown North 2193, South Africa

Penguin China, B7 Jiaming Center, 27 East Third Ring Road North, Chaoyang District, Beijing 100020, China

Published by Plume, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Previously published in a Viking edition.

First Printing, February 2013

Copyright Suzanne Braun Levine, 2011

All rights reserved

Excerpt from One of the Softer Sorrows of Age from Begin Again: Collected Poems by Grace Paley. Copyright 2000 by Grace Paley. Reprinted by permission Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC.

How We Love Now Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood - image 3 REGISTERED TRADEMARKMARCA REGISTRADA

The Library of Congress has catalogued the Viking edition as follows:

Levine, Suzanne.

How we love now : sex and the new intimacy in second adulthood / Suzanne Braun Levine.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-101-55372-5 (epub)

1. Older women. 2. Older womenSexual behavior. 3. Intimacy (Psychology) 4. Love. I. Title.

HQ1059.4.L477 2012

306.70846dc23

2011030172

PUBLISHERS NOTE

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

For my dear children Joshua and Joanna A UTHORS N OTE I am immensely grateful - photo 4

For my dear children, Joshua and Joanna

A UTHORS N OTE

I am immensely grateful to the women who shared their most intimate thoughts and experiences with me. Although many were willing to have their names used in the book, I chose to change all names in order to protect everyones privacy. In the cases where real names are used, it is because the person is knownor should be knownfor their accomplishments or activities.

C ONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

Love, Sex, and Unicorns

It has long been my unassailable belief that orgasmic women can change the world. By this I mean that a woman who is unfettered sexually is unfettered politically, socially, economically and she is unstoppable.

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