Anna Franklin - Romantic Guide to Handfasting: Rituals, Recipes & Lore

Llewellyn Publications

Woodbury, Minnesota

Copyright Information

A Romantic Guide to Handfasting: Rituals, Recipes & Lore 2004 by Anna Franklin .

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First Edition

Second Printing, 2015

First e-book edition 2016

E-book ISBN: 9780738748566

Cover background by Brand X Pictures, cover flower image by PhotoDisc

Cover design by Kevin R. Brown

Edited by Andrea Neff

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Franklin, Anna.

A romantic guide to handfasting : rituals, recipes & lore / Anna Franklin.1st ed.

p. cm.

Includes index.

ISBN 978-0-7387-4722-4

1. Marriage customs and rites. 2. MarriageReligious aspectsNeopaganism.

3. MarriageReligious aspectsGoddess religion. I. Title.

GT2960.F73 2004

392.5dc22 2004054105

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For lovers everywhere.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to everyone at Llewellyn for supporting this project, particu-arly Kevin R. Brown for his lovely cover design, and Andrea Neff for her painstaking and insightful editing skills. Thanks to Wade White for his invaluable help on gay deities.

Contents

: The Historical Background

: Organizing Your Handfasting

: The Rituals

: Gods and Goddesses

: Choosing the Moment

Handfasting Themes

: Handfasting Customs

: What to Wear

: Handfasting Herb Craft

: The Handfasting Feast

: Spells and Lucky Charms

: Handparting

: Poems and Blessings for Handfastings

: Anniversaries

: Handfasting Certificates

: Handfasting Invitations

: Useful Addresses

INTRODUCTION

A handfasting is a Pagan wedding, usually the union of two individuals, perhaps two members of a coven or solo practitioners, who meet and fall in love. It is the marriage rite used today by many Pagans, druids, and Wiccans. During the ceremony, the couple declare their love and commitment to each other, and promise that they will live together for a year and a day or for as long as love shall last, in the words of one ritual. At the end of that time, they may renew their vows, make a more permanent commitment and a legal marriage, or go their separate ways. In an age when, for whatever reason, many relationships do not last a lifetime and divorce is commonplace, a handfasting is perhaps a sensible option.

I t migh t see m t o b e a ver y moder n concept , bu t th e ide a o f a trial marriageusually for a year and a dayis very old. In the south of England, in Dorset, there is a cliff called Handfast Point where, pre sumably , man y suc h union s wer e made . Th e ancien t an d medieva l Irish woul d undertak e tria l marriages , claspin g hand s throug h a hole d stone. I f th e coupl e go t on , the y woul d mak e mor e permanen t vows ; i f not, the y woul d g o bac k t o th e stone , an d eac h wal k of f i n a differen t dire c - tion. Some think that this is where the term handfasting orig inated ; other s thin k i t ma y hav e com e fro m th e custo m o f shakin g hands ove r a contract . The n too , i n som e cultures , th e hand s o f th e b r i d e and groom are bound together, and many Pagans adopt this practice as part of the handfasting ceremony.

Man y Pagan s thin k tha t i t i s ver y importan t fo r the m t o b e abl e t o declar e thei r commitmen t t o eac h othe r i n a ritua l tha t expresses thei r ow n beliefs , feelin g tha t a secula r ceremon y i s no t a s fulfil l in g an d meaningfu l a s a declaratio n o f lov e befor e thei r god s and thei r peers . Th e vow s ar e usuall y writte n b y th e coupl e themselves t o expres s thei r ow n need s an d emotions . Th e handfastin g i s gene r all y celebrate d insid e a magi c circle , somethin g tha t Pagan s believ e t o exis t betwee n th e worlds, i.e. , neithe r wholl y i n th e mundane world of humankind nor wholly in the Otherworld of gods and spir - its , bu t partl y i n both . Wha t happen s i n th e circl e affect s no t only this world, but also the Otherworld. The circle stands at the interse c tio n o f th e world s fo r th e tim e i t i s invoked . Fo r a brie f momen t it becomes the center of the universe, and what happens within it du r - ing the handfasting ceremony reenacts the great cosmic theme of t h e lov e o f th e Goddes s an d th e God . Thei r eterna l romanc e i s recreate d an d renewe d b y ever y huma n pai r o f lovers . The y ente r th e circl e as tw o separat e people , an d emerg e a s a couple . Thi s i s a life-changing event, and one of the most important rites of passage in lifes journey.

Th e handfastin g vow s ar e believed , literally , t o b e take n before the gods, and are therefore very solemn and binding. Members of the cove n o r druidi c grov e ac t a s witnesses , sometime s wit h friend s and family present (if they would like to be), with the ritual presided over b y a pries t o r priestess , druid , cla n chieftain , o r shaman . Th e couple exchang e vows , promisin g t o lov e an d hono r eac h other , an d may giv e eac h othe r rings , hav e thei r hand s loosel y tie d wit h colore d cords o r ribbons , jum p ove r th e cauldro n o r broomstick , an d shar e wine together. Afterward there are the usual congratulations, the throwing of confetti or rice, posing for photographs, and a picnic or party. The handfasting may be followed by a civil wedding.

A t th e tim e o f writing , handfastin g ha s n o lega l validit y i n most state s o f th e Unite d State s o r i n Britai n an d othe r part s o f th e world. Som e Pagan s hop e tha t thi s wil l chang e wit h tim e a s th e Paga n reli - gio n become s mor e accepte d b y th e wide r world . However , some mor e traditiona l Pagan s thin k tha t thi s kin d o f tria l marriag e only need s t o b e recognize d b y famil y an d clan , an d tha t givin g i t a legal statu s woul d negat e th e purpos e o f a tria l marriage . Ove r th e years, th e fundamenta l ide a o f th e handfastin g ha s change d amon g some Paga n groups , an d th e initia l ide a o f a tria l marriag e o f a yea r a n d a da y ha s give n wa y t o th e permanen t vow s o f a conventiona l ma r riage.