Kiran Sethi - SKIN SENSE: Dr. Kirans Guide to Being Beautiful

This book is dedicated to my daughter, my light, my boss
Raina
And my family

CONTENTS

Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.

Coco Chanel

I still remember an Indian aunty telling me she was glad I had lost weight because she feared I would never get married. I was fourteen. Many women are subjected to the same scrutiny and no-holds-barred criticism that makes them feel like they will never match up to the flawless images on social media and television. But you are not alone. Billions of people around the world are made to feel the same way. Is it fair? Absolutely not!

Feeling beautiful isnt easy. I have met maybe two people in my life who have told me that they feel beautiful. Celebrities, socialites, Instagram stars, models alike suffer the same insecurities that all of us do, if not more. And everyone famous spends way more time on their appearance than you do, I can assure you. That is a function of their job. They have to look perfect at nearly all times. They have to make sure they dont have any flaws that show up from a variety of camera angles. I can also tell you that they do not wake up like that. I know, their social media profiles make them look ber confident, like they own the world. Hate to break it to you, but it isnt true. In fact, the level of their insecurity regarding appearance, no matter how beautiful they are, can rival that of your teenage sister or daughter. And the fact that they have millions of Instagram followers who would kill to look like them probably doesnt bring them much solace from the insecurity either. When your perception of beauty becomes one that derives from those of these influencers and celebrities, social media, television shows, movies, magazines, bloggers, the beauty and fashion industry all earn money off this concept. If you are made to feel insecure, perhaps you will buy into the latest trend. Hey, this month its the Kardashian cheekbone, while next month, itll be the sculpted eyebrow there is never any rest from the continuous barrage of beauty must-haves. The pressure just does not let up. So, while perhaps you were fine with that little hook on your nose before, the latest Bollywood nose job tells you, Hey, maybe there is something wrong with the way you look. And you think, maybe I need to change in order to fit into this beauty ideal so that people will feel I am worthy. Now its not only our surrounding media but also the peer pressure. In India (and in the rest of Asia too, by the way), casually commenting on a persons appearance is so common that people often dont realize it can be rude and hurtful.

Now, while you may be feeling insecure thinking, Hey, that guy wont like me unless I have this desirable pout, that guy may be concerned with the size of his biceps and wouldnt even be paying attention to the imagined flaws in your lips. Each and every person has insecurities that are ever-burgeoning, but there will never be any permanent solution to them because there will always be something new to worry about. The point is that while you are thinking you look terrible and everyone is staring at that zit on your nose, the likelihood is that they are more concerned with the size of their own noses or their pores or perhaps that mole at the corner of their lip. So, maybe the first step to beauty is not zapping that zit or correcting that supposed imperfection; maybe it is self-awareness, perspective and self-worth.

Since I am an MD from the US, and a physician specializing in skin and aesthetics, you must be thinking, This chick is crazy! Why shouldnt we fix what is making us feel insecure? Thats not what I am saying. I am saying you should first take a step back and recognize that people with zits, pores, stretch marks, wrinkles, sagging skin, weight gain issues and more are all normal and have the ability to be happy within their skin. We as humans dont need external validation. We need to learn to cultivate internal validation. We need to understand that getting rid of our pigmentation will not intrinsically change how we feel about ourselves. I have clients who have come to me with their families, fiances, friends and said, I do not leave the house or go out with my friends because I feel so ashamed of my skin. That concept upsets me deeply. Skin problems are problems that can be solved! That is what I am here for! Just like any other problem, they dont mean anything beyond that. And I am here to tell you that you are worthy no matter what you look like. That is a fact and has been proven throughout history. So, lets not allow our insecurities to take away from our everyday living. Lets spend some time appreciating what we have and feeling strong. And, simultaneously, we can zap zits.

While we must all remind ourselves of our self-worth, which has nothing to do with appearance, it doesnt mean we still cant act on our aesthetic concerns. Pimples, when not treated early enough, can cause severe scars. Stretch marks can be a reminder of a painful miscarriage. We have the right to do what we can to deal with things that bother us or serve as a reminder of a painful experience. I have had two miscarriages myself, one was when I was seven months pregnant. My body has never felt the same since, and I struggle with that. Women with scars or discolouration still feel the hurt when their appearance is commented upon. It is one thing to accept ourselves, but another to say I have to live with it when there is a multitude of solutions out there.

So, lets get down and dirty now. Okay, I dont mean sex (although, not going to lie, good sex totally helps with making you feel gorgeous!). What I mean is, lets get down to the brass tacks. How do we work on feeling internally validated while also getting our glow on? In this book, I am going to talk to you about how to get LIT from within.

First things first, a little about myself and why you should even bother reading this book. So, I was born and brought up in New York. I was raised in Long Island by a mom who is a Type-A mom and a doctor and a powerhouse businessman dad. I went to Columbia University, followed by med school, and then did my medical training at Mount Sinai Beth Israel in downtown Manhattan. After that, I went on to earn a graduate degree in dermatology, American board certifications in aesthetics & lasers, and a diplomate in cosmetic formulation on the by and by. I have treated celebrities from Hollywood and Bollywood. I have also cared for thousands of poor, underserved patients from Kolkata and Eastern India through my work with slums and free clinics, and have seen the most terrible mutilating skin diseases that you could imagine. But I have also seen hope, strength, self-worth and confidence even through the worst.

I have been in India for about ten years now, and have experienced the entire gamut of clients and client experiences. When I moved to India, I was a firm believer in allopathy and medication as the only line of treatment. I thought this is what I know and this is the only way to be. Whoa, was I wrong! Living in India, I was exposed to an entirely different and holistic way of thinking when the first questions I was always asked were, Doc, what am I eating wrong? How can I change my diet to improve my skin? Trust me, that is not what patients ask you in America. There, the questions tend to be more like: Will I look like Kim Kardashian after this? And, Can I get some pain pills with that? (Im kidding I promise its not that bad). But those questions got me thinking what was it that was so important in our lifestyle that could help explain these issues and help those looking to feel better about themselves? If you are willing to change your habits, then perhaps the world truly becomes your oyster.