Heidi Montag - How to Be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press, and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture

Photos throughout the book appear courtesy of Pacific Coast News. Used by permission.

Copyright 2009 by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

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First eBook Edition: November 2009

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ISBN: 978-0-446-56744-2

Dear reader,

What you are about to uncover in the pages to come is highly classified and sensitive information. We are writing to you from an undisclosed location (on Robertson Blvd. in Hollywood, of course) and are about to reveal all our most treasured secrets of how we became who we are. Our story contains multiple twists and turns (mostly knives being twisted in peoples backs and turns on red carpets, really) and must be followed exactly if you hope to acquire what we have acquired. This material is not for the faint of heart.

To protect those whose identity we need to conceal at this time (you know, legal stuff) you will not read any references to our show, The You also will not see the names of some of our closest, um, friends, Ms. , Ms. , Mr. , and ESPECIALLY not Ms. .

The information contained in the following pages MUST be handled with the greatest of care. If it falls into the wrong hands, there is no telling what could happen. The last thing we all need are a bunch of people with no discernable talent other than their ability to make themselves famous, running around LA with swarms of paparazzi following their every move. That would be really, really, really awful, wouldnt it? Um, it would, wouldnt it?

Anyway, forget about that. Just be careful. Do NOT try this at home. And by that we mean: in order to get what you want you have to, you know, go to places other than your home.

We wish you the best of luck on your mission.

Yours truly,

This book would not have been possible without the help and support of the following people. Wed like to thank Jesus, our families, Nana, Tony Disanto, Adam Devillo, Liz Gately, Van Toffler, Janice Min, Peter M. Grossman, Dan Wakeford, Larry Hackett, Richard Spencer, TV Guide, Ryan Seacrest, Perez Hilton, Harvey Levin and TMZ, Rolling Stone, Jann Wenner, Jeff Berg, Peter Churnun, David Foster, Barbara Walters, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Conan OBrien, Jimmy Fallon, Larry King, Ben Silverman, Amanda Ruisi, Rick Rhodes, Mel Berger, Adam Gelvin, Suzie Unger, Lon Rosen, John Fereder, Dan Black, Anne Clark, Ken Burry, The One and Only Palmilla, the paps everywhere, James Aylott, Mike Carrillo and everyone at Pacific Coast News, Mary-Kate Olsen, Kristin Cavalleri, MadeMen baseball, Edward Jones, Wolfgang Puck, Michelle DeLuchs and the staff at Cut, Don Antonios, Martin Scholler, Matthew Rolston, Hugh Hefner, Todd Moskowitz, Dave Pinsado, Kathy Dennis, Steve Morales, Bill Beasley, Chad Waterbury, King Kevin Casey, Gerardo Mejia, the original Rico Suave, Rickson Gracie, Dr. Frank Ryan, Zoe Rose, and Lincoln Edward Grossman.

Y ou couldnt help it, could you? Its okay. Dont feel guilty. We get it. You probably walked by this in the bookstore and said, Wait, those #$@%^$# have a BOOK now? But here you are reading it. Dont hate yourself.

We thought about starting the first page with something like, Hi, were Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from blah blah blah or something lame like that. But the point is, you already KNOW that. If you dont know who we are, we can guarantee that your kid does. And thats the point of this book. Were SUPERfamousand for what? Were on a reality show on cable for that matter and were not even allowed to acknowledge on the show that our real jobs are, well, being on a reality show!

But why should you listen to us? Were just lucky, right? Just a couple of blond bimbos who like to cause trouble. Well, take a look at this list: Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Heath Ledger, Jamie Lynn Spears, Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson, Suri Cruise, Shiloh Jolie Pitt, Owen Wilson, and Heidi Montag. Thats a Forbes top ten list of celebrities who have appeared on the most magazine covers in 2008. Everyone else on that list is a long-term A-list star. Were talking Oscar winners, Grammy winners, children of the most famous people on the planet and Heidi. Do you think that happened by accident?

Admit it, youre intrigued. And its only natural. Because the truth is that whether you love us, hate us, or love to hate us, there IS a recipe for infiltrating Hollywood, and weve got it. Sure, its not rocket science, but it IS a science. Our expert technique comes from years of careful study of fame and its essential elements, painstaking analysis of its masters, an exhaustive process of trial and error, and, finally, the formulation of the perfect strategy for capturing the attention of the masses.

Admit it, youre intrigued.

And its only natural.

Does that sound serious and articulate to you? Good. Because as airbrushed and airheaded as you may think we are, were every bit as savvy. But because were such thoughtful, giving people, were willing to share. Youre welcome.

What you are about to read is our no-fail, no-nonsense (well, some would say its ALL-nonsense) insiders guide to take you from nobody to notorious. Take it from us, you cannot buy this kind of information. Well, at least you couldnt until now. So go on. What are you waiting for? Hold your head high, march up to that register and shell out the measly $19.99 (aka roughly five Us Weeklys.) Next, book your ticket to LA and make sure to tuck this in your carry-on. If you follow our advice, it might just be the last time you ever fly commercial.

Take it from us, you cannot buy this kind of information.

W e realize this may all seem a bit daunting. Were sure youre sitting there thinking, How can I possibly get famous? Who am I? Dont sweat it. Like any problem, theres always a solution. You just need to break it down into steps. You dont just roll out of bed one day and become Madonna or Angelina Jolie. But youll get there. The first step on your journey is to do something exactly opposite to what youll be doing once you succeed. Think about other people before yourself. Yes, we know this sounds crazy. Please forgive us for such an outrageous statement. But allow us to explain.