Lana Swallows - Fifty Shades of Sherlock Holmes: The Erotic Case Files I

Fifty Shades of SherlockHolmes

By

Lana Swallows

Copyright 2012 byHardcore Superhero Publishing

Discover other erotic works by Lana Swallows, such as:

FiftyShades of Ancient Egypt

FiftyShades of King Arthur's Court

TheComplete XXX Avenger

Table of Contents

The sky was darkover all of London and the gusts of wind so intense they rattled the shutters ofour windows. "Watson, do see if youcan attend to that vexing draft?" Holmes pulled his heavy afghan blanket closer to his chest and stokedthe fire whilst I walked around the room surveying the windows to see which hadnot been properly closed.

A slight ripplein the drapes of the window overlooking Baker Street drew my attention, and asI moved in to reposition it, I saw a carriage was pulling up to our frontdoor. "Holmes? I believe we may have company," Isaid.

"At thishour?" Holmes said. He drew apocket watch from his robe and frowned at the time. "I suppose you should go down and seewhat our visitor requires before Mrs. Hudson is awakened. We'll hear no end of her complaints if sheis."

I took up alantern as I headed down the staircase and had not yet reached the bottom whenthe caller slammed the heavy knocker on our door louder than cannonfire. I winced as Mrs. Hudson charged toward herdoor shouting, "What kind of ruffian calls on someone in the middle of thenight?" through the walls.

She threw herdoor open and I smiled sheepishly. "Goodevening, Mrs. Hudson. I apologize forthe noise. I was trying to get the dooropen before you were disturbed."

Mrs. Hudson wasstill tying her robe around her waist as she looked up at me, not bothering tocover up the plunging neckline that revealed her heaving bosom. A handsome woman not yet in her sixtiethyear, her hair was dark and grey as it hanged loose about her shoulders. It was the first time I hadn't seen it pinnedup in a tight bun. "I suppose thisis normal for the likes of you and Mr. Holmes," she sniffed. "But I run a respectable home and mustdemand the same from anyone who stays here."

I caught myselflingering over her surprisingly ample cleavage and snapped myself out of it intime to say, "Of course, Mrs. Hudson. That is to be expected. I willsee that it does not happen again."

"See that itdoes not, or I shall be forced to raise your rent."

Once her door wasshut, I bounded down the rest of the stairs, terrified our new guest would bangthe knocker again. The rain was comingdown hard enough that I could hear it spattering against the cobblestones onthe walk outside. I opened the door onlyto rear back at the sight of a darkly dressed apparition.

The figure didnot wait for me to offer an invitation. I was able to make out a woman's hat and black laced veil dangling fromthe brim, covering most of our visitor's face, but even in the dim glow of thegaslight, I could make out her shining green eyes. Her perfectly formed lips and narrow chinpeeked out from beneath the veil, but the rest of her was all buttons andtopcoats. "Shut the door behind me,quickly, I beg you," she hissed.

Before I could comply,she grabbed the door from my hands and closed it herself. "Is someone chasing you?" I said.

"No. Are you the detective?"

"He isupstairs. But first may I say it ishighly unusual for us to receive visitors so late and we prefer you make anappointment at a respectable hour." I raised my voice loud enough for Mrs. Hudsonto hear the last part. I looked at thewoman with a sideways grin and mouthed Iapologize, then waved for her to follow me upstairs.

I rapped on thedoor to 221-B and said, "Holmes, we have company."

"I deducedthat from the knocking on our door, dear fellow." Holmes stood to his feet and extended hishand to the woman, "Good evening, Countess Barrymore. How might I be of service?"

She gasped andpressed her hand over veiled mouth, "However did youwho told you? I demand an explanation!"

Holmes smiledgently and said, "No one, I quite assure you. And your confidence shall be kept regardlessof the circumstances."

He moved his handfor her to be seated but she did not move. "First, tell me how you knew it was me."

Holmes rolled hiseyes slightly. He'd grown so accustomedto this little charade of people being mystified by his parlor trick-like featsof deduction that it was no longer fun to astound them. "Very well," he sighed. "Your carriage is personally owned, forit does not bear any of the markings of the local companies that service thisarea. Obviously, someone of your stationwould have her own. From yourconversation downstairs with Watson, I detected an ever-so-slight hint of a Frenchaccent in your speech, no doubt from your formative years spent in Paris whileyour father served as the Ambassador."

"How do youknow that?"

"I keep biographicalfiles on all of the Royals, as well as notable government officials,performers, and authors. One never knowswhen they will be of service."

"Isee," she said. "Praycontinue."

"Your heightand weight are consistent with the information I have collected thus far, andfinally, despite your best efforts, I can clearly make out the beauty markabove your left upper lip which is said to be the single-most imitated physicalfeature among the upper-class. It seemsthat what nature has bestowed on you, your peers would seek to emulate throughcosmetics."

"Mostimpressive, Mr. Holmes. I see that theinformation I received about you was well-deserved."

Holmes nodded andsaid, "So, now that we've wasted enough time establishing the obvious,allow me to return to my initial inquiry. How may I be of service?"

She opened hermouth to speak and Holmes' hand suddenly shot up, "Wait. Before you begin. Yes, we understand discretion is of theutmost importance. Your attempts toreinforce that by offering us extra money or jewels to keep yourconfidentiality are unnecessary. Yes,Watson is required to be present, even as you reveal whatever awful thing hastranspired that brought you here, regardless of how embarrassing it maybe."

"I supposeyou hear things like this from people like me quite a bit," she said.

"Thatdepends, Countess. I have not heardanything from you yet. For all I knowyou are about to tell me something far beyond the pale of my entire career thusfar."

"I assureyou that you have never heard anything quite like this, Mr. Holmes."

Holmes smiledpolitely, if skeptically, and said, "Then please start at the beginning,and I must insist you do not leave out any details."

"Some arequite sordid, Mr. Holmes."

"It is notpossible to embarrass either Watson or myself, Countess. Whatever you leave out may hold the very keyto our solving the case, so I must ask you to be as specific as possible."

"Verywell," she said, with a sideways glance as if to take my measure. I looked down to spare her the humiliation ofknowing I was looking at her. She took adeep breath and told us a tale of hedonistic intrigue that I shall not soonforget.

~***~

On the Friday before last, I received a packageat our city home. Our estate is far outin the countryside, and lately it has seemed unbearably empty to me to staythere. Two weeks ago I packed a fewthings and we left without telling a single soul.

I was sitting in my bedroom, reading, when aman knocked at my door.

"Madame, some rich bloke asked me todeliver this to you," he said. "Paid me thruppence to hand it off to the pretty blonde lady wholiffs here."

I lookedpast him, but saw no one else. Heclaimed his only instruction had been to deliver it to my front door and leaveimmediately. With that, he tipped hishat to me and walked into the night.

Attached to the package was a letter writtenin ornate script, an invitation to a "private gathering" on thefollowing evening. It promised an"unforgettable evening of mystery and delight."