Star Child - aNgel

aNgel

by Star Child

To my friend Nagel

with heartfelt thanks

for all the cups of tea weve had together,

for everything youve shared with me,

for everything Ive learned from you

and just for being there.

Gabriel, his halo a bit askew after last night, sighed and absent-mindedly tugged at his beard.

Do you really understand what youre asking for?

The pleading eyes of the Junior blinked. A moment of hesitation?

Yes, Your Brilliance, Ive read the rules, I understand all the consequences and accept the full responsibility.

Youthful fervour, vigourand stupidity. Or maybe love? Maybe it does exist after all.

Gabriel sighed again.

Gabriel, you silly old bugger, let the boy find it out for himself. Let him fly even if he falls.

All right then, said Gabriel picking up the humongous ancient stamp3500 B.C., Made in Egypt, not some puny modern gadgetand applying it with a loud thump.

There you go, boy. And remember, youve asked for it.

***

Sit down, just be careful not to wake her, he said without opening his eyes.

The transparent figure hovered over to his feet and chuckled in the darkness.

She wont see me anyway. Its not her time. Yet. But maybe we can go to the kitchen and have a cup of tea? I would enjoy watching you drink it.

More chuckles.

Nagel sat up slowly and looked at Alyson. It was a long and loving look. He was pleased to see that her face was peaceful and her breathing was slow and regular. He put his feet down and stood up, careful not to disturb her. The house was a bit chilly on this April night, so he put on his dressing gown. He closed the bedroom door behind him and shuffled downstairs.

In the kitchen he didnt bother to turn the lights on. The full moon was sailing high in the clear skies, turning the world into an eerie jumble of silvery light and inky shadows. A wide shaft of moonlight lit the bench and blended into the darkness in the corners.

He put the kettle on, its red eye blinked open and stared blindly but menacingly.

Arent you a bit too early? Nagel asked fumbling in the pantry. I feel fine. Fit as a fiddle. But I was starting to worry about Alyson. Shes been unwell.

The apparition silently watched him rinse a small teapot, put in two teaspoons of tea leaves and pour in boiling water. A sudden wave of aroma welled out of the teapot. The good old Earl Grey.

Fascinating. I thought everyone is using tea bags these days. Isnt it faster and easier? the ghostly visitor asked, having ignored Nagels question.

It sure is faster and easier. But does it taste like real tea? It certainly doesnt. Not to me anyway. I suppose Im old-fashioned. I believe that good things take time and that haste makes waste. But these days Im outnumbered. These days everyone wants instant results. Instant coffee, instant lottery, instant communication, instant love... If it isnt instant, its not worth the effort. Nagel put two teaspoonfuls of sugar into an empty cup, then added some milk. Waiting for the tea to brew, he stirred the milk slowly. Sugar didnt want to dissolve in the cold liquid. The teaspoon clinked in the fine china cup.

I am very thankful that you are allowing me the time to enjoy a cup of tea, Nagel said. Too bad you cant join me, he added with a grin.

The white haze condensed slightly over the vacant bar stool, taking the shape of a sitting figure.

Im simply curious. I could never understand why you did it. Why lose so much to gain so little?

Nagel was silent. He poured the fresh tea into his cup and took a sip. Then another one. And one more. The hot liquid trickled into his stomach and the heat radiated all through his body. Nagel savoured the feeling, knowing that it was the last time ever hed be able to feel this.

You will never understand, he said finally. Not until you do it yourself.

You mean you have no regrets? Was it really worth it?

Nagel looked out the window, his cold hands clasping the hot cup.

Black and silver. Blinding light and blind shadows. Sharp contrasts. The world of sharp contrasts, the world of opposites, the world of life and death. The world of mortals. His world.

The familiar delicious smell wafted dreamily upwards.

How do you explain the smell of freshly brewed tea? How do you explain the delight of a bright winter morning after a dark snowy night? How do you explain the ecstasy of making love, the agony of losing a child and the myriad of other things, big and small, joyful and painful?

How do you explain what its like to be human?

Was it really worth it? He turned to look directly at his cloudy companion. Yes, it was. It was worth every drop of sweat, it was worth every tear and every effort. Its just life, and in life every moment of joy is worth a lot of pain. One doesnt exist without the other. One cant possibly exist without the other.

Im not saying that we have to pay for happiness with suffering, but the harder we suffer, the happier we can be... Only its not something that can be explained in words. To understand life, one has to live it. Thats why youll never understand.

Is that so? Arent you just being defensive and trying to convince yourself? Can it be that now you have finally realised that youve paid a lot for nothing? Have you finally realised that life is all pain and no gain, and besides, its about to end?

Nagel, a strange twinkle in his eyes, looked at the swirling fog in the bar stool. He drank the rest of his tea, put the empty cup down and leisurely poured it full again.

Only an empty cup can be filled. And a full cup must be emptied. Thats all there is to it, really.

He sipped the aromatic hot liquid. His mind was obviously wandering elsewhere, far away from this sleepy kitchen and from his strange companion.

When I first saw her, she was only five, he finally spoke with his eyes closed, a faint smile on his thin lips. She was running across a meadow, little curls bouncing in the wind, little feet pounding the new grass, little eyes shining with life and laughter. When children laugh, they laugh. And when they cry, they cry. They do it all wholeheartedly, they havent learned yet to be wise and wary.

Of course, I had seen a lot of little girls and a lot of little boys. I had seen them grow up, become bitter, angry, disappointed, anxious, crazyand very seldom happy. I had seen them die young. I had seen them die old. But whether young or old, they always died, all those little girls and little boys, they all ended up dead...

He opened his eyes and faced the white haze.

So, I did know that there would be an end. But thats lifeits all about endings that always become new beginnings. Things always change, and thats how it should be If you came for me, then Im ready.

The formless cloud shifted uneasily.

You are so matter-of-fact about it. No requests for extension?

Nagel chuckled.

Am I getting special treatment? When the times up, its up.

His companion sighed.

Your times up. Gabriel has sent me to fetch you. Youve been promoted.

Nagel gasped.

Promoted? I thought I had resigned!

Well, think again. If angels start resigning, whos gonna do the dirty work and clean it all up? Officially, you were granted a leave of absence. And now they want you back on the job.

But what about Alyson?

Dunno. Youll have to ask the boss. Didnt you say her healths failing anyway?

Thats right, but

Sorry, I have my orders. You come with menow.

With a look of utter astonishment on his face, Nagel clutched at his chest. His body crumpled in the chair.

Two misty clouds faded into the darkness lacerated by silvery shafts of moonlight.

###

If you enjoyed this story, you might also enjoy other stories from Star Child more is to come soon. Check for new stories at http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/sc