Mona Darling - Glitter: Real Stories From Real Women About Sexual Desire

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Amber

@AFullMargin

I'm a full time single parent and full time student preparing to transfer into my first bachelors program at thirty. I'm pansexual, kinky and tend to avoid politics and religion wherever I can. I'm a bad feminist. I've been writing fanfiction and erotica for over fifteen years and, at the moment it's my sexual outlet of choice.

I came of age in the 90s, born in 1982 and raised in rural Arizona by working parents that didn't really think I needed sex ed - they were right, by the time they thought to even begin introducing it at school and eventually at home I was already prepared for the advanced courses. Bless a precocious mind and easy access to pornography.

After dinner, I put the kids to bed , light a few candles and some mellow-scented incense. A mug of tea, usually lavender or mint, and something sweet to nibble on complete my personal self-care regimen. Before I had kids, itd be my boyfriend or girlfriend going to bed and when I used to drink, itd be a shallow tumbler with a double shot of tequila instead of tea and when I smoked itd be my trusty Marlboro hard pack and zippo instead of hand-dipped incense, but the routine has remained mostly unchanged for over a decade. I turn on my computer and with a few keystrokes the experience has begun.

Tonight, Im a bubbly twenty-six-year-old vixen looking to wrap my fingers around a sugar daddys big fatwallet by the best means at my easy disposal, this time by posing as an escort. Yesterday I was a wealthy executive being beaten and fucked raw by an ex-commando mercenary working for a man that I screwed on a business deal. Maybe tomorrow Ill go off my rails and change into the hazy green skin of a tentacle monster on the hunt for virgins who dare disturb my slumber. Perhaps Ill be a fifty-something divorcee meeting with his new lady love for a clandestine night of passion between slices of his homemade pie and full contact cuddling. Or even a super-spy bedding an intersexed space alien he met in a pandimensional brothel, an awkward thirty-something with an unspoken crush on his long-time best friend, a bored plus-sized housewife who decides to moonlight as a mistress for thrills, any number of gawky young adults still learning about the pleasures of sex, a survivor of the zombie apocalypse desperate to feel anything but fear and hopelessness, a curious anthropomorphic feline, part of a gang bang, a sex slave or slave owner. I could be anything, any one, any number of faces and bodies and stories working toward the simple goal of text on the screen dripping with unadulterated lust.

This is my sex. Late at night by the light of a few candles and my monitor I spin stories of sex and intrigue, lust and longing. Tales where lonely cops, waitresses, mythical creatures, parents, teenagers, models, politicians, soldiers and spies are stripped down to the level of lovers. Givers and takers, tops and bottoms, masters, mistresses, slaves and pets and anything and everything in between. My fantasies, no matter how taboo or vanilla they are that day, are safe and as free from judgement as one can be while still straying out of the solid walls of my mind.

Far from what Ive been told people assume when they find out about my text-based hobbies, Ive had sex in the real world. Quite a bit of it, considering Im a fairly unassuming looking overweight thirty-year-old single mom. I started young, too young, perhaps, but curiosity has always gotten the better of me and over the last fifteen years Ive dabbled in anything thats taken my interest. Much like my fantasy life, finding my true self IRL (in real life) has been difficult. The list of identities Ive held in one form or another includes (but is certainly not limited to): bisexual, gender queer, victim, bottom, mistress, gay, goddess, top, slave, slut, boi, little girl, ftm, observer, furry, director. Right now, at this moment, I consider myself to be a pansexual mamabear with toppy tendencies despite my intensely submissive fantasiesits a label thats stuck longer than most but I wont pretend its how Ill always see myself.