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Mike Carey - The Devil You Know

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Mike Carey The Devil You Know

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Felix Castor is a freelance exorcist, and London is his stamping ground. At a time when the supernatural world is in upheaval and spilling over into the mundane reality of the living, his skills have never been more in demand. A good exorcist can charge what he likes and enjoy a hell of a life-style but theres a risk: sooner or later hes going to take on a spirit thats too strong for him. After a year spent in retirement Castor is reluctantly drawn back to the life he rejected and accepts a seemingly simple exorcism case just to pay the bills, you understand. Trouble is, the more he discovers about the ghost haunting the archive, the more things dont add up. What should have been a perfectly straightforward exorcism is rapidly turning into the Who Can Kill Castor First Show, with demons, were-beings and ghosts all keen to claim the big prize. But thats OK; Castor knows how to deal with the dead. Its the living who piss him off...

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The Devil You Know

(The first book in the Felix Castor series)

A novel by Mike Carey

To Lin; as if theres any other direction that matters

Acknowledgments

With thanks to all the staff at the London Metropolitan Archive who were so hospitable and so generous with their timeespecially Jan Pimblett and Dorota Pomorska-Dawid. Also to my ever-inspiring agent, Meg Davis, who helped out with my stumbling Russian, and my editor, Darren Nash, who provided both a sounding board for ideas and a large quantity of Belgian beer to help with the acoustics for said board. To desk editor Gabriella Nemeth, whose London AZ, unlike mine, is the right way up. And finally to my wife, Lin, the superpowered offspring of a lawyer and a Litvak, who spotted no fewer than six massive errors in the original typescript. Great work, team: now into your starting positions for book two.

One

NORMALLY I WEAR A CZARIST ARMY GREATCOATthe kind that sometimes gets called a paletotwith pockets sewn in for my tin whistle, my notebook, a dagger, and a chalice. Today Id gone for a green tuxedo with a fake wilting flower in the buttonhole, pink patent-leather shoes, and a painted-on mustache in the style of Groucho Marx. From Bunhill Fields in the east, I rode out across Londonthe place of my strength. I have to admit, though, that strong wasnt exactly how I was feeling; when you look like a pistachio-ice-cream sundae, its no easy thing to hang tough.

The economic geography of London has changed a lot in the last few years, but Hampstead is always Hampstead. And on this cold November afternoon, atoning for sins I couldnt even count and probably looking about as cheerful as a tricoteuse being told that the days executions have been canceled due to bad weather, Hampstead was where I was headed.

Number 17, Grosvenor Terrace, to be more precise: an unassuming little early Victorian masterpiece knocked off by Sir Charles Barry in his lunch hours while he was doing the Reform Club. Its in the books, like it or not; the great man would moonlight for a grand in hand and borrow his materials from whatever else he was doing at the time. You can find his illegitimate architectural progeny everywhere from Ladbroke Grove to Highgate, and they always give you that same uneasy feeling of dj vu, like seeing the milkmans nose on your own firstborn.

I parked the car far enough away from the door to avoid any potential embarrassment to the household I was here to visit and managed the last hundred yards or so burdened with four suitcases full of highly specialized equipment. The doorbell made a severe, functional buzzing sound like a dentists drill sliding off recalcitrant enamel. While I waited for a response, I checked out the rowan twig nailed up to the right of the porch. Black and white and red strings had been tied to it in the prescribed order, but still . . . a rowan twig in November wouldnt have much juice left in it. I concluded that this must be a quiet neighborhood.

The man who opened the door to me was presumably James Dodson, the birthday boys father. I took a strong dislike to him right then to save time and effort later. He was a solid-looking man, not big but hard-packed, gray eyes like two ball bearings, salt-and-pepper hair adding its own echoes to the gray. In his forties, but probably as fit and trim now as he had been two decades ago. Clearly, this was a man who recognized the importance of good diet, regular exercise, and unremitting moral superiority. Pen had said he was a copchief constable in waiting, working out of Agar Street as one of the midwives to the governments new Serious Organized Crime Agency. I think I would have guessed either a cop or a priest, and most priests gratefully let themselves go long before they hit forty; thats one of the perks of having a higher calling.

Youre the entertainer, Dodson said, as you might say, Youre a motherless piece of scum and you raped my dog. He didnt make a move to help me with the cases, which I was carrying two in each hand.

Felix Castor, I agreed, my face set in an unentertaining deadpan. I roll the blues away.

He nodded noncommittally and opened the door wider to let me in. The living room, he said, pointing. Therell be rather more children than we originally said. I hope thats okay.

The more the merrier, I answered over my shoulder, walking on through. I sized the living room up with what I hoped looked like a professional eye, but it was just a room to me. This is fine. Everything I need. Great.

We were going to send Sebastian over to his fathers, but the bloody man had some sort of work crisis on, Dodson explained from behind me. Which makes one more. And a few extra friends . . .

Sebastian? I inquired. Throwing out questions like that is a reflex with me, whether I want answers or not; it comes from the work I do. I mean, the work I used to do. Sometimes do. Can live without doing.

Peters stepbrother. Hes from Barbaras previous marriage, just as Peter is from mine. They get along very well.

Of course. I nodded solemnly, as if checking out the soundness of the familial support network was something I always did before I started in on the magic tricks and the wacky slapstick. Peter was the birthday boyjust turned fourteen. Too old, probably, for clowns and conjurors and parties of the cake-and-ice-cream variety. But then, that wasnt my call to make. They also serve those who only pull endless strings of colored ribbon out of a baked-bean tin.

Ill leave you to set up, then, Dodson said, sounding dubious. Please dont move any of the furniture without checking with me or Barbara first. And if youre setting up anything on the parquet that might scratch, ask us for pads.

Thanks, I said. And mines a beer whenever youre having one yourself. The term beer should not be taken to include the subset lager.

He was already heading for the door when I threw this out, and he kept right on going. I was about as likely to get a drink out of him as I was to get a French kiss.

So I got down to unpacking, a task that was made harder by the fact that these cases hadnt moved out of Pens garage in the last ten years. There were all sorts of things in among the stage-magic gear that gave me a momentsor more than a momentspause. A Swiss Army penknife (it had belonged to my old friend Rafi) with the main blade broken off short an inch from the tip; a homemade fetish rigged up out of the mummified body of a frog and three rusty nails; a feathered snood, looking a bit threadbare now, but still carrying a faint whiff of perfume; and the camera.

Shit. The camera.

I turned it over in my hands, instantly submerged in a brief but powerful reverie. It was a Brownie Autographic No. 3, and all folded up as it was, it looked more like a kids lunch box than anything else. But once I flipped the catches, I could see that the red-leather bellows was still in place, the frosted viewfinder was intact, and (wonder of wonders) the hand-wheeled stops that extended the lens into its operating position still seemed to work. Id found the thing in a flea market in Munich when I was backpacking through Europe. It was nearly a hundred years old, and Id paid about a quid for it, which was the whole of the asking price, because the lens was cracked right the way across. That didnt matter to menot for what I principally had in mind at the timeso it counted as a bargain.

I had to put it to one side, though, because at that moment the first of the party guests were shepherded in by a very busty, very blonde, very beautiful woman who was obviously much too good for the likes of James Dodson. Or the likes of me, to be fair. She was wearing a white bloused top and a khaki skirt with an asymmetric hang, which probably had a designer name attached to it somewhere and cost more than I earned in six months. For all that, though, she looked a touch worn and tired. Living with James Supercop would do that to you, I speculated; or, possibly, living with Peter, assuming that Peter was the sullen streak of curdled sunlight hovering at her elbow. He had his fathers air of blocky, aggressive solidity, with an adolescents wary stubbornness grafted onto it. It made for a very unattractive combination, somehow.

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