Kerrelyn Sparks - Wanted: Undead or Alive

For my father, Les.

You are greatly loved

in this world and the next.

Stay strong.

Get real, Phineas! You cant expect me to believe this crap!

Phineas McKinney frowned at his younger brother, who was clutching the steering wheel with white-knuckled desperation. Obviously, last nights confession had not gone as well as he had thought. Freemont, you gotta know I would never lie to you

I know that! Freemont shot him a frantic look, then turned the windshield wipers up to a higher speed to combat the rain that pelted his thirteen-year-old, dented Chevy Impala. But that doesnt leave me with a lot of options, you know? First I thought youd gone crazy. Then I thought you must be doing drugs. Then when I tried to talk to you this afternoon, I thought you were dead! I mean, seriously, start-the-damned-funeral dead!

Im not crazy, Phineas muttered. And I dont do drugs.

The atmosphere in the car sizzled with tension, interrupted only by the noise of the wipers swishing back and forth. A wet, slushy sound, followed by a high-pitched, prolonged screech reminiscent of fingernails on a blackboard.

Phineas winced. There were times when having supersensitive hearing was not an advantage.

Freemont gave him a wary look. Whatwhat about that last part? The . . . dead part?

Slush-screech. Slush-screech.

Freemont gulped audibly. You werent really dead, were you?

Slush-screech. Slush-screech.

Im alive now, Phineas said quietly, then gave his brother a reassuring smile. Dont I look alive to you?

Freemont didnt look reassured. His eyes had grown so wide, the whites gleamed as his gaze darted back and forth from his brother to the busy street in the Bronx. Youre alive now? What the hell does that mean?

It means my heart is beating. Im breathing

You werent breathing this afternoon! You scared the shit out of me! I almost called Aunt Ruth

I told you not to. Phineas didnt want his aunt and sister to know the truth. Aunt Ruth would probably drag him into church and insist the Reverend Washington perform an exorcism on him. Luckily, the female members of his family were out of town this weekend, singing with the choir at some event in Buffalo.

I didnt know what to do! I thought about calling an ambulance, but Freemont stomped on the brakes, tires spinning on the wet cement before the Impala halted with a lurch. He slammed a fist on the horn, and the blaring noise made Phineas grit his teeth.

What the hell are you stopping for, asshole? Freemont hollered at the car in front of them.

People usually stop for red lights. You should try it sometime. Phineass attempt at a joke fell flat. His brother was still looking at him like hed grown a second head. I have excellent night vision, you know. You want me to drive?

No! Freemont leaned forward, a possessive glint in his eyes as he squeezed the steering wheel with fisted hands. I need to drive. It keeps me calm.

This was calm? Phineas hadnt expected a full-fledged panic attack this evening. Last night his brother had remained quiet during the confession, just nodding his head as if he accepted it all. But Phineas had to admit now that it was highly unusual for his brother to remain quiet for more than sixty seconds. Freemont had been stunned speechless.

I did warn you, Phineas reminded his brother. I told you not to go down into the basement.

I thought you were quoting a line from a bad movie.

Why would I do that?

How the hell would I know? Freemont yelled. I told you, I thought youd gone crazy!

I explained it all last night, how I ended up a vampire, and how I needed to do my death-sleep all day in the basement with the window boarded up.

Yeah, well, I didnt really catch that last part, you know what Im saying? The minute you said vampire, I thought youd gone bat-shit on me. I didnt hear nothin after that. I was too busy trying to figure out how we could afford to send you to a nut hut so you could get your head screwed back on.

Im perfectly fine, Freemont. I was just . . . dead for a few hours.

Thats not normal, bro!

It is for a vampire.

Freemont flinched, then turned to glare at the stoplight.

Slush-screech. Slush-screech.

The light turned green, and Freemont accelerated slowly. You really believe this stuff, dont you?

Im not shittin you, Freemont. Didnt you see me drink a bottle of blood?

You said it was blood, but what the hell, you could have had a V8. If you were really a vampire, wouldnt you be chomping down on peoples necks? Not that Im offering mine, you understand

I hang with the good Vamps. We dont bite people. Phineas sighed. Hed explained all this last night, how some bad vampires had transformed him and held him prisoner until hed been able to join the good Vamps and help them fight the bad vampires they called Malcontents. Hed even shown Freemont his fangs, although he hadnt extended them. Hed tried his best not to freak his brother out. You saw my fangs, remember?

Freemont waved a hand in dismissal. You could have had them filed into points. Its totally wack, but there are crazy people who do weird shit to themselves. Hell, I saw a guy on TV who had his tongue split so hed look like a snake.

Im not crazy.

You think youre a vampire. If thats not seriously crazy, I dont know what is. Freemont took a deep breath. Well get you better, Phin. Ill get a full-time job, drop out of school

No! You just finished your freshman year, and youre doing great. Im not letting you drop out.

Freemont stiffened with an indignant look. You cant tell me what to do. Youve been taking care of us, paying all the bills, for eight years. Its my turn now. I can do this.

Youre finishing college, Phineas said sharply, then noticed the stubborn clench of Freemonts jaw. Sheesh. His little brother was becoming a man.

Five years ago, when Phineas had been transformed at the age of twenty-three, his brother had been a skinny fourteen-year-old, all bony elbows and knobby knees. The aging process had screeched to a halt for Phineas, so he tended to forget that his younger brother and sister kept growing. He and Freemont looked close to the same age now.

Phineas softened his voice. I need your help, bro.

Anything, man. Whatever medical attention you need. Ill get it for you. You can count on me.

Phineass chest expanded with warmth. His brother had grown into a good man. Now if he could just convince him of the truth. Turn right at this next street.

Why? I thought you wanted to go to Brooklyn.

I do, but we need to make a stop first.

Okay. Freemont turned onto a street lined with narrow wooden-framed houses with sagging front porches.

Pull in there. Phineas pointed at an empty space between two parked cars.

Ill be blocking a driveway.

We wont be here long. While his brother stopped and shifted into park, Phineas surveyed the neighborhood. Because of the rain, the sidewalks were empty. The house was dark, no lights glowing in the windows.

Slush-screech. Slush-screech.

I dont think anyones home, Freemont said.

Thats for the best.

Huh? Then why are we here?

A demonstration. Phineas unlatched his seat belt. Dont go anywhere. Keep your eyes on the porch.

Theres nothin on the porch.

There will be.

What are you Freemonts words cut off when Phineas teleported to the dark porch. He waved at the car, then teleported back to the front seat.

Freemont was a few shades paler, and his mouth was hanging open.