Table of Contents
PRAISE FOR BILLY SUNDAY MARS...
Billy Sunday Mars is a master teacher who makes the work of exercise really fun.
Marin Independant Journal
He has amazing physical grace with an immense knowledge of the body and a great sense of humor.
Lyn
A grandmother of six, I am now able to move in ways that I havent for twenty years. He is helping me get my flexible, dancing body back. And people are complimenting me about being in shape. I feel like a sexy woman again.
Kathy
BECAUSE EVERY BOOK IS A TEST OF NEW IDEAS
INTRODUCTION
M Y INTEREST IN pleasing women began in a tent made of blankets in my living room when I was ten years old. My sixteen-year-old sister Robyn always had her girlfriends over, and once, while they were waiting for Robyn to get ready, they asked if they could visit me in my tent. A bit scared, I agreed and invited them in. I remember being in awe of themtheir shape, their smell, and the way they moved. They were different, very different. There wasnt much room in the tent, so we had to cuddle up and chat. I realized then that there was something surreal and superphysical about women, and that entertaining them should be an event.
My sisters friends visited my tent regularly after that, and I brought them pillows and tea to encourage them to stay. As I got older I learned to cook, dance, sing, and play musical instruments. I started reading and writing poetry, and read of knights, chivalry, and troubadours. Eventually I discovered that there was an art to all of this. That art was to be found in the Kama Sutra .
Western culture has always been fascinated by the Kama Sutra , Tantra, and the mysterious sexual arts of the East. The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian text that provides wonderful instruction on courtship, titillation, and exploring sexual positions. Tantra involves more rebellious rituals than common Buddhist practices: It focuses on elevating personal pleasure by prolonging coitus, increasing intimacy, and cultivating Kundalini (sexual energy), through and by increasing consciousness. Both teachings are considered paths to enlightenment, but what attracted me to them was the invitation to lose myself by pleasing another in the sensuality of a heightened erotic environment. Sex, understood in this way, is not an occurrence; it is an event. I, like many of you, longed to learn the hidden secrets of those arts that would make me a star in my own bedroom without having to become an acrobatic contortionist or yoga master. How could I create the deepest intimate connection with my partner? What were the best ways to achieve orgasm for my partner and myself? How did my anatomy affect how well I make love?
With experience, I realized that the problem with using the Kama Sutra, Tantra, or any other sensual guide as a road map to ecstasy was that it wouldnt work until I had prepared the vehiclemy bodyfor the journey. If you were taking your car on a long trip, would you just slide it in gear and drive without making sure its ready for the road? All too often, sex is something we all just do, with decidedly mixed results. Even my Tantra teachers, who had spent years teaching the sexual arts, were mindful of the many paths to pleasure but paid no attention to the vehicle that could get them there. I would try to imitate the positions in the books, but over time I realized that it was not the positions that were important, but how my lover and I moved when in those positions. If I was unable to move well enough to consistently stimulate my lovers internal areas, any and all books on sexual technique were useless. The first purpose of this book is to help you learn how and why to condition your body to move in ways that feel wonderful to both you and your lover.
My training is based on a process of isolating, improving, and integrating movements of the glute, groin, and pelvic muscles. One myth of the fitness industry is that you cant work or move the lower abdominals (abs) independent of the upper abs. As such, most aerobic and gym core-building exercises are repetitious and robotic, treating the abs like a single sheet of muscles. This philosophy of movement, unfortunately, often plays out in the bedroom. As a dancer, auto mechanic, student of the sexual arts, and subsequently as a trainer, I have studied how the human body works and have developed a fun and productive way to both isolate and train these muscles in my Fit for Love classes. I have turned the so-called mystery of the Eastern sexual arts into easy-to-master movements. Now I want to help you take these simple techniques from my classroom to your bedroom.
Lets face it: Every guy likes to think theyre good at lovemaking, myself included. And because I was an erotic dancer when I was younger, there was no shortage of opportunities to find out. In dating a few of the women I met in the club, most of them older, I learned that I didnt move as well in bed as I did on the stagenot because the moves werent good, but because they didnt apply horizontally. One night in bed, when I was trying a position from the Kama Sutra , I was stopped mid-stroke when my partner asked, Billy, do you know why youre putting what where? And she proceeded to teach me female anatomy, inside and out. Gradually I learned how to take my time and get to know what goes on inside a woman, and not just physically; her thoughts, feelings, and spiritual life are a major part of every intimate encounter. It is not just where, but how and when to touch a woman that matters. I began to see that women are both a maze and amazing if you take the time to look, feel, and explore them. This is one reason why Ive never had a one-night stand. I prefer a long-term relationship, because that is the only way to get deep into the mystery that is woman.
After that relationship ended, I became a sort of lover undercover. I asked a million and one questions of the women in the club and kept a notebook close at hand. I wanted to learn what not only I but we as men were doing wrong. To many women, I found out, the bedroom is a yellow-tape crime scene, not because sex is bad but because were bad at it. These women taught me that romance and intimacy are important both in and out of bed, and that both areas need passion, skill, and attention to detail.
What I hear often from men is that they like women who enjoy sex and are able to express their sexuality. A woman expressing herself sexuallyboth verbally and physicallytells us that we turn you on, too! Men, whether they admit it or not, want someone sweet on the streets but wild in the sheets. Letting us know you have an erotic side does not mean we think youre easy! It just makes us feel desired. Having said that, I do think it is important for women to make men wait a little while before becoming intimate. If a man isnt willing to wait, he just wants sex, not you.
Bottom line: Both men and women want to feel desirable. Making love can be a physical and spiritual expression of our deepest emotional and physical yearnings. The more skilled we can become at expressing ourselves sexually and emotionally, the more fulfilling and rewarding our intimate connections will become.