D r. Natasha is the author of A Little Bit Kinky and a certified clinical sexologist with a doctorate in human sexuality. With nearly twenty years of experience in a thriving practice, shes coached tens of thousands of people to have more fulfilling sex lives. Shes been a nationally syndicated radio host and a guest on thousands of radio and TV shows worldwide. She has directed, produced, and successfully marketed twenty-three sex self-help DVDs, which have sold more than 100,000 copies, and has conducted numerous sexuality seminars. Dr. Natasha was featured in a Playboy Women of the Internet pictorial, and her advice has appeared in numerous publications, including Cosmo, Mens Health, Glamour, Womans Own, Hustler, and The National Enquirer . A member of ASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) and SSSS (The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality), she divides her time between Dallas and L.A.
RESOURCES
Adam and Eve
Toys for women and men, DVDs, and other products.
(800) 293-4654
adamandevetoys.com
Babeland
Toys for women and men, DVDs, and more.
(800) 658-9119
babeland.com
Coco de Mer (also in the UK)
Designer sex toys and lingerie; specialized leather goods; erotic
housewares and accessories; erotic books and movies; erotic jew
elry and more.
8618 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90069
310 652 0311
cocodemerusa.com
Come As You Are (Canada)
A cooperatively run sex toy, book, and DVD store.
701 Queen Street West
Toronto, Ontario M6J 1E6, Canada
(877) 858-3160
comeasyouare.com
Condoms To Go
5315 Greenville Avenue
Dallas, Texas
214-368-2470
condomstogousa.com
Eves Garden
evesgarden.com
Forbidden Fruit
Sex toys, costumes, and other adult products, workshops, and more.
108 East North Loop Blvd.
Austin, TX 78751
800 315-2029
forbiddenfruit.com
Good Vibrations
Sex toys, DVDs and video on demand, books, and more.
Several store locations in the San Francisco area.
(800) BUY-VIBE
goodvibes.com
KiKi De Montparnasse
79 Greene Street, New York 10012
kikidm.com
Larry Flynts Hustler Hollywood
DVDs, books, magazines, sex toys, and more.
hustlerhollywood.com
Saras Secret
810 North Central Expressway
Plano, Texas
972-578-6661
sarassecret.com
Shades of Love
300 W Bitters Rd # 150
San Antonio, Texas 78216-1690
(210) 494-3006
theshadesoflove.com
The Pleasure Chest
Located in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles
Thepleasurechest.com
TULIP
1422 Milwaukee Avenue
Chicago, IL 60622
773.227.7575
mytulip.com
Xandria Collection
xandria.com
CHAPTER
THE SCIENCE OF BLISS
Electric flesh-arrows... traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears. It is the gong of the orgasm.
ANAIS NIN
A h, the orgasm. That electrifying tingle that awa kens our senses, pumps us up with all kinds of good feelings, and makes us feel truly alive like nothing else. Anais Nin, a famous erotic writer, explains it pretty well, I think. But there is so much more going on in an orgasm than just plain magic. Because yes, it is a magical thing, but theres real science behind all those arrows and rainbows and the foam of music Anais describes.
In this brief chapter, well walk through just what is an orgasm, what happens to your body when you have an orgasm, what does an orgasm feel like, and how does it make you feel. The last part of this is no mystery for those of us who have experienced orgasmsand good ones. But if you belong to the group of women who feel like theyve never had an orgasm before, or if youre not really sure if you ever have, this chapter will take away any doubt. And for those who determine theyve never had an orgasm, it will leave them with a sense of delicious anticipation.
ONE EQUATION, many PARTS
So what exactly is an orgasm? In the most basic terms, its a release of sexual tension. Orgasm in men is marked by the release of semennot exactly something easy to fake. For women, orgasm is a mostly internal process of pleasant muscle contractions that take place in rapid succession, some less than a second apart, in the pelvic region. (By the way, ladies: The female orgasm is also not exactly something thats as easy to fake as you think it might bebut well get into why people do fake orgasms, why you really actually cant, and in fact never should a bit later.)
Now theres been some debate on whether or not orgasms are felt the same way in both women and men, and the short answer is that they are indeed similarthough not the same. In each, an orgasm is a quick series of pelvic contractions, in the genital and anal regions, about an eighth of a second apart. The good news for women is that ours can be much more intense as our uteruses may also contract (and in a pleasant way), which means more areas affected and deeper within us. Of course, for both sexes, orgasms are pretty much triggered the same way: through stimulation, sometimes physical, sometimes not.
In her book, The Case of the Female Orgasm , Dr. Elizabeth Lloyd says women are less likely than men to be tired after orgasm. Which explains why your partner pretty much passes out afterward, and you feel ready to pop out of bed and paint the bedroom!
So orgasms are never exactly the same. They can be felt differently, by both women and men, in terms of how powerful they are, how long they last, and how intense they are. This all has to do with a number of factors, including excitement level, how much time has passed between orgasms, how much energy the one being pleasured has at the time of stimulationand how little energy. So theres a lot past the mood that goes into having orgasmsand having good orgasms.
Of course, the orgasm is just the grand finale. To take full advantage of Vitamin O, we also have to look at how to get to that final destination. The parts of the equation are as important as the sum because if the parts dont add up correctly, the equation just wont work.
Okay, so what are the parts? For the purposes of this chapter, were just going to talk about parts of your body that are important to orgasm and how it all comes togetherin other words, the physiology of the orgasm. Well get into the emotional componentand the actual doing it as we move through the book.
THE NOT-SO- vexing VULVA
Many of us refer to the region between our legs as our vagina, but thats not really accurate. Your vagina is internal, and the part of you that connects your outer sex parts to your uterus (and from the other opening where you pee from). The vulva is the area that you can see with a mirror, the region that features most of your lower sex parts.
I dont want to give an anatomy lecture here, but I do think its important for your future orgasmsand all the different types youre going to be havingif we at least touch on the sexual parts of this area. In fact, this would actually be an excellent time to go grab a hand mirror or go sit in front of a mirror, spread-eagle, so you can follow along with your own.