Graham Masterton - The 7 Secrets of Really Great Sex

Graham Masterton (born 1946, Edinburgh) is a British horror author. Originally editor of Mayfair and the British edition of Penthouse, Graham Mastertons first novel The Manitou was published in 1976 and adapted for the film in 1978.

Further works garnered critical acclaim, including a Special Edgar award by the Mystery Writers of America for Charnel House and a Silver Medal by the West Coast Review of Books for Mirror. He is also the only non-French winner of the prestigious Prix Julia Verlanger for his novel Family Portrait, an imaginative reworking of the Oscar Wilde novel The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Mastertons novels often contain visceral sex and horror. In addition to his novels, Masterton has written a number of sex instruction books, including How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed and Wild Sex for New Lovers.

Graham Masterton

In truth, there is only one basic secret of really great sex, although this book will show you seven different ways it can transform your love life.

That secret is for you to take control of your own sexual pleasure. In other words, dont leave your arousal and satisfaction to anybody else, not even to your husband or your lover. Only you know what you really want out of your sex life. Only you can achieve it. If youre looking for guaranteed excitement and guaranteed fulfillment, youll have to discover for yourself exactly what you want out of your lovemaking and how to make it happen. Once youve done that, you will have the ability to turn humdrum, everyday sex into really good sex, and really good sex into really outstanding sex. And the more you enjoy it, the more your partner will enjoy it, too.

But excuse me, many women have told me, we dont want to be in control of our love lives. The whole excitement of having sex with a man is that he takes control, and that he dominates us. Sometimes its very arousing to feel helpless, to feel that a man is having his way with us.

Gabby, a 32-year-old teacher from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, said, There isnt anything more exciting than being pinned down on the bed while a big, muscular man shoves his huge cock into you.

And Sarah, a 27-year-old computer operator from Seattle, Washington, went even further. My number one sexual fantasy is to have one mans great big hard cock in my pussy, another one up my ass, and a third one right down my throat, all at once. Theyre all rough and grunting and sweaty. But what turns me on so much is the idea of being used. Not very feminist, I know.

Maybe it doesnt sound very feminist, but these days you can have it both ways, so to speak. If you enjoy your lover being dominant in bed, there are ways to encourage him to act that way that will ensure that you get all the excitement of being helpless while still making sure that he gives you all the stimulation and all the satisfaction to which youre more than entitled.

Theoretically, at least, we now live in a world of sexual equality, and it has long been recognized that a womans sexual needs are just as great as those of a man. But its no use ignoring the simple biological truth that women do get aroused by men behaving in a sexually assertive way. Maybe not all the time. It depends on the man and it depends upon what kind of relationship you have. But there is no question that it is a fundamental part of what makes a man physically attractive to a woman. Take the enduring appeal of Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind, and all the scenes of forcible sex that you can find in womens popular fiction.

He pushed her up against the cinderblock wall. Jack, she gasped, as he lifted her skirt up around her waist. Not here, Jack. Dont. But he was far too strong for her. His kisses crushed against her lips, and his unshaven chin scratched against her cheeks. He dragged down her panties and then lifted her up in both hands. She struggled and twisted and pulled at his hair, but when his bone-hard erection forced its way into her, and she slowly sank down onto it, her struggles became shivers of pleasure, and her tugs became caresses.

Were not talking about allowing your lover to treat you like a sex object. This kind of rough, aggressive coupling may be exciting in books and movies, but in real life its almost invariably the result of the mans selfishness and sexual ignorance. In real life, he usually gets his rocks off, leaving you feeling bruised, humiliated, and very dissatisfied.

No, what were talking about is encouraging your lover to be active and virile, both for his pleasure and yours. Of course you want him to believe that hes completely in charge. That will increase his sense of domination. But to get the optimum pleasure and excitement out of your lovemaking, he will almost certainly need considerable guidance. Men arent psychic, and when it comes to sex, few of them are very knowledgeable. High school biology lessons and the Playboy Advisor may have given your lover a general idea of female sexual anatomy and the notion that women are entitled to orgasms. But you cant expect him to know intuitively what kind of stimulation you enjoy the most, or what kind of sexual scenarios you find the most arousing.

Jane, a 23-year-old beautician from Phoenix, Arizona, told me, It takes me a long time to get aroused, so I really love it when a man goes down on me and gives me oral sex as part of his foreplay the longer the better. But even though I tried to persuade my last boyfriend to do it, he was always too impatient to get his cock inside me. He licked me there once or twice, but then it was Come on, baby, lets do it, and by the time hed done it and finished I wasnt even halfway there. Failure to kiss and arouse them properly is the number one complaint leveled by women against their husbands and lovers by far.

Then theres a lack of spontaneity. Rachel, a 26-year-old airline steward from Cincinnati, Ohio, said, I love to have sex outdoors. In the woods, in the fields. I love running around naked and feeling the breeze on my skin when Im making love. But when I took my last boyfriend out to the lake and said, Doesnt this make you feel romantic? Doesnt this make you feel like making love? all he could say was It sure does. I cant wait to get you back home. Dont get me wrong. He was a very red-blooded guy. But he didnt see how excited I was by the idea of having sex in the open. In the end, the only way I could get him to make love to me was to open up his pants, take out his cock, and give him a long, slow blow job. I thought it was great. The sun was shining on his cock and it was bright red and glistening with saliva. But even then he was very uneasy, you know? He didnt feel comfortable at all. Maybe he was worried that somebody might be watching, but that never worries me. In fact thats part of the buzz. Lets just say that he didnt exactly behave like Tarzan.

When it comes to sex, men need very clear signals. There are very few times when your sexual messages can be too obvious. One girl told me that after an evening with a man she really liked, she became so impatient for him to make a move that she took off all her clothes and got into bed. He hesitated for a moment and then he said, Do you want me to go now?

Men also need a constant feedback. They need to be reassured that theyre doing the right thing, and that youre enjoying what theyre doing to youor, if youre not enjoying it, they need to know that, too. I have talked to literally hundreds of men over the years, and the women that they have considered to be the sexiest havent necessarily been the prettiest, or the most flirtatious, or the ones with the biggest breasts. Its the women who have clearly