Gabrielle Zevin - In the Age of Love and Chocolate

I HADNT WANTED TO BE GODMOTHER, but my best friend insisted. I tried to demur: Im flattered, but godparents are supposed to be Catholics in good standing. In school, we had been taught that a godparent was responsible for the religious education of a child, and I hadnt been to Mass since Easter or to confession in over a year.

Scarlet looked at me with an aggrieved expression that she had acquired in the month since she had given birth to her son. The baby was beginning to stir, so Scarlet picked him up. Oh, sure, she drawled in a sarcastic baby-talk voice, Felix and I would positively adore a fine, upstanding Catholic as a godparent, but malheureusement, the person we are stuck with is Anya, who everyone knows to be a bad, bad Catholic. The baby cooed. Felix, what could your poor, unwed, teenage mother have been thinking? She must have been so exhausted and overwhelmed that her brain stopped working. Because no one in the entire world has ever been worse than Anya Balanchine. Just ask her. Scarlet held the baby toward me. The baby smiledit was a happy, apple-cheeked, blue-eyed, blond-haired creatureand wisely said nothing. I smiled back, though truth be told, I was not entirely comfortable around babies. Oh, thats right. You cant talk yet, little baby. But someday, when youre older, ask your godmother to tell you the story of what a bad Catholicno, scratch thatbad person she was. She cut off someones hand! She went into business with a terrible man and she chose that same business over the nicest boy in the world. She went to jail. To protect her brother and her sister, but stillwho, when presented with other options, wants a juvenile delinquent for a godparent? She poured a steaming tray of lasagna over your daddys head, and some people even thought she tried to poison him. And if shed succeeded, you wouldnt even be here

Scarlet, you shouldnt talk like that in front of the baby.

She ignored me and continued chattering to Felix. Can you imagine, Felix? Your life will probably be ruined because your mother was so thick as to choose Anya Balanchine to be your godmother. She turned to me. Do you see what Im doing here? Im acting like its a done thing that youre going to be the godmother, because it totally is. She turned back to Felix. With a godmother like her, its probably straight to a life of crime for you, my little man. She kissed him on his fat cheeks, and then she nibbled him a bit. Do you want to taste this?

I shook my head.

Suit yourself, but youre missing out on something delicious, she said.

Youve gotten so sarcastic since you became a mother, you know that?

Have I? Its probably best if you do what I say without argument then.

Im not sure Im even Catholic anymore, I said.

OMG, are we still talking about this? You are the godmother. My mother is making me have a baptism, so youre the godmother.

Scarlet, I really have done things.

I know that, and now Felix does, too. Its good that we go into this with our eyes open. Ive done things myself. Obviously. She patted the baby on the head, then gestured around the tiny nursery that had been set up in Gables parents apartment. The nursery had once been a pantry, and it was a tight squeeze, containing the three of us and the many items that make up a babys life. Still, Scarlet had done her best with the miniature room, painting the walls with clouds and a pale blue sky. What difference does any of that make? Youre my best friend. Who else would be godmother?

Are you honestly saying you wont do it? The pitch of Scarlets voice had shifted up to an unpleasant register, and the baby was beginning to stir. Because I dont care when the last time you went to Mass was. Scarlets pretty brow was furrowing and she looked like she might cry. If its not you, theres no one else. So please dont get neurotic about this. Just stand next to me in church and when the priest or my mother or anyone else asks you if youre a good Catholic, lie.

On the hottest day of summer, in the second week of July, I stood next to Scarlet in St. Patricks Cathedral. She held Felix in her arms, and the three of us were sweating enough to solve the water crisis. Gable, the babys father, was on the other side of Scarlet, and Gables older brother, Maddox, the godfather, stood beside Gable. Maddox was a thicker-necked, smaller-eyed, better-mannered version of Gable. The priest, perhaps aware of the fact that we were about to pass out from the heat, kept his remarks brief and banter-free. It was so hot he did not even feel the need to mention that the babys parents were unwed teenagers. This was truly the boilerplate, no-frills baptism. The priest asked Maddox and me, Are you prepared to help these parents in their duties as Christian parents?

We said we were.

And then the questions were directed to the four of us: Do you reject Satan?

We said we did.

Is it your will that Felix be baptized in the faith of the Catholic Church?

It is, we said, though at that point we would have agreed to anything to get this ceremony over with.

And then he poured holy water on Felixs head, which made the baby giggle. I can only imagine that the water must have felt refreshing. I would not have minded some holy water myself.

After the service, we went back to Gables parents apartment for a baptismal party. Scarlet had invited a couple of the kids we had gone to high school with, among them my recently crowned ex-boyfriend, Win, who I had not seen in about four weeks.

The party felt like a funeral. Scarlet was the first one of us to have a baby, and no one seemed to know quite how to behave at such an affair. Gable played a drinking game with his brother in the kitchen. The other kids from Holy Trinity chatted in polite, hushed tones among themselves. In the corner were Scarlets and Gables parents, our solemn chaperones. Win kept company with Scarlet and the baby. I could have gone over to them, but I wanted Win to have to cross the room to me.

Hows the club coming along, Anya? Chai Pinter asked me. Chai was a terrible gossip, but she was basically harmless.

Were opening at the end of September. If youre in town, you should come.

Definitely. By the way, you look exhausted, Chai said. Youve got dark circles under your eyes. Are you, like, not sleeping because youre worried youll fail?

I laughed. If you couldnt ignore Chai, it was best to laugh at her. Mainly Im not sleeping because its a lot of work.

My dad says that 98 percent of nightclubs in New York fail.

Thats quite a statistic, I said.

It might have been 99 percent. But Anya, what will you do if you fail? Will you go back to school?

Maybe.

Did you even graduate high school?

I got my GED last spring. Need I mention she was starting to annoy me?

She lowered her voice and cast her eyes across the room toward Win. Is it true that the reason Win broke up with you is because you went into business with his father?

Id rather not talk about that.

So it is true?

Its complicated, I said. That was true enough.

She looked at Win, and then she made sad eyes at me. I could never give up