Megan Smith - Hard To Love You

Spring Break,

Three Years Earlier...

No one wants to go home for spring break; and weve all waited too long to book flights to Cancun, so were doing the next best thing. Our best friends roommates are having a party tonight and have invited all of us to go. He says the locals stay around for it, like some kind of tradition. I dont really give a shit where we go as long as its out of this god damn dorm room.

I finish my run and head upstairs for a quick shower. By the time I shut off the water I can already hear the thumping of the music. The medicine cabinet starts rattling and the toothbrush holder is about to fall off the sink.

Come on, lets go. The party is starting. Someone bangs on the door.

I dress quickly and hang the towel around my shoulders, grab my basketball shorts, socks and running shoes from the floor and open the door. As I walk down the hallway I pass a few people already making out. Damn, they dont waste any time. I open the door to the room Im staying in and throw my dirty clothes and shoes in my bag.

I pick up the key thats been left for me on the dresser and make sure to lock the door behind me. As Im making my way downstairs, the front door swings open and two guys wearing football jerseys walk in with a keg on each of their shoulders. A few girls follow them. A blonde catches my attention, she looks a little young but her body is smoking hot. I follow her with my eyes as she moves after the guys into the kitchen.

Perfect. The kitchen is right where Im heading. I fight my way through the crowd and hear someone calling my name.

Finally, pretty boy. Took you fucking long enough.

Before I can respond, Im being introduced to one of the keg carrying guys.

This is one of my boys from back home. Dude, this is Logan.

I lift my head, acknowledging Logan.

Whats up? he says.

Someone clears their throat behind him. Logan turns his head toward the blonde and then back to us, Sorry guys, this is my cousin, Brittany.

Brittany bats her eyelashes at us. I skim my eyes over the entire length of her body and grin as Logan pours her a cup of beer.

You go to school around here? I pluck up the courage to ask.

Brittanys friend stumbles over before she can respond and practically knocks her right over. I watch the whole show, shes definitely drunk. Her eyes are glazed over in an inebriated haze. She starts giggling when her eyes connect with mine. The pool table is free, lets go. The girl starts pulling Brittany anyway.

Managing to pull her arm free from her friends grasp, she asks, You guys want to come play?

My phone starts to ring before I can reply. I pull it from my pocket. Shit! I knew I should have called her before the party started.

I quickly excuse myself and move through the kitchen, slipping through the sliding glass door and sliding my finger across the screen to answer the call.

Hey,

Hey, I thought you were coming home for break. She clips out, more of an accusation than a question.

I sigh heavily into the phone, No, plans changed, the guys didnt want to.

Alright, she says so quietly that I barely hear it.

Im sorry.

Im sure you are. Hope you have a nice break. The line goes dead.

Fuck! I feel like a dick.

A few hours later and everybody at the party is three sheets to the wind. The fucking room is spinning. Ive got some girl sitting on my lap and weve been making out for so long that Ive lost track of where everyone is.

We finally come up for some air and she asks, Where are your friends?

I look around but cant see shit. Everything is a damn blur. I have no fucking idea. How about we finish this upstairs in my room?

She looks around the room were in; the revelry is still going strong. These people know how to party. Alright, but I have to find my friend first, she says as she untangles herself from me.

I have to adjust myself before I can stand up with any sort of dignity. Some guy is lying on the floor, face down, I nudge him with my foot to see if hes still alive; he groans and covers his head with his hands.

Isnt that your friend over there? She points to where all my boys are sitting around the kitchen table.

Whats your name again? I ask as I scratch my head. I cant remember shit.

She giggles and shakes her head, Brittany. Youre really drunk arent you?

I shake my head. Bad move, it feels like someone is pounding on it.

We walk over to the boys and I find an empty seat, I pull Brittany down on my lap and wrap my arms around her. We get dealt into a game of poker, which is a really stupid decision. I cant pay attention to shit, especially not with her on my lap. I have to keep shifting her over when she lands in just that right spot.

Babe, if you dont stop moving that fine little ass of yours Im gonna have to haul you upstairs. I tell her.

She laughs.

About an hour or so later, Brittany stands. Im taking this guy up to bed.

I arch my eyebrow at her. Bed my ass.

All the guys start laughing and then cough to cover it up when Brittany glares at them all.

Logan eyes his cousin, You sure thats a good idea?

Brittany rolls her eyes, Mind your fucking business.

Dude, you got condoms in your bag? My roommate asks.

Do I ever go anywhere without them?

True.

Brittany grabs my arms and pulls me away. My friend yells, Keep that shit on your bed.

Everyone starts laughing as we walk away. We barely make it to my room before Im inside her; our clothes were taken off in a fit of drunken lust on the way up here. I remember knocking something over but shes all over me and I dont care what it is. I finally manage to get to the bed with her before everything turns hazy.

I wake up to the sun shining in my eyes. I groan and roll over. Fuck, I croak out.

I look around; theres a blonde girl lying beside me. I kind of remember her from last night but I have no clue what her name is.

I move the hair thats covering her face, Hey.

She rolls over but doesnt sit up. Where the hell are we?

I chuckle and then wince from the pounding in my head. Fuck.

I dont feel so well, the girl says, and then a second later she starts puking.

My stomach rolls. I turn and walk away from her. Its an asshole move but if I stay Im going to puke too.

I throw on some shorts and go downstairs. There are a few guys sitting at the table. I go to the fridge and pull out a bottle of water. I twist the cap and start gulping it down when the girl from last night walks in looking like a hot mess.

She comes over and wraps her arms around my waist. Last night was great.

Babe, it was just a piece of ass. I say, releasing her arms from around me. I dont do the whole cuddling shit the next morning, most of the time Im already gone before dawn.

I sneak a glance at the girl; her mood has drastically changed in the last couple of seconds. She went from being all lovely, like we were going to start dating, to looking like shed just been told that she was the worst lay ever. I shake my head and dismiss the girl like I do with the rest of them, just like yesterdays trash.

Shit!

I hear her gasp before I even see her. I know its her, I can feel Hailey. I know this looks all kinds of wrong but I was trying to figure out what the fuck Lily was talking about. She cornered me when I went to take a piss, telling me she knew shit that would fuck up a few relationships in my family. I got pissed off and forced her into the alcove in the wall, trying to intimidate her into telling me what she knows.