Courtney Cole - Before We Fall

I always have so many people to thank. Thats because Ive come to find out, over the years, that it takes more than just one person to write a good book. It takes a team. I have to humbly say that I have the best team in the world.

First, my family. They are the best teammates anyone could ever ask for. My daughter, my littlest writing assistant, carries around a pen and paper just in case I have a great idea. My teenage sons let me pick their brainsto see how boys really think. And my husband is very patient with me when I clickety-clack on my laptop in bed next to him at two A.M. when I get a great idea that just wont wait until morning. They also eat out a lot when I just cant stop to make dinner. Im forever grateful to them and I love them more than theyll ever know.

My BFF and partner in crime, M. Leighton. You probably know her from books like The Wild Ones or Down to You. Shes the best critique partner and BFF that a girl could ever ask for. Shes always on call and always a font of good advice. She talks me down from ledges and keeps me from pulling my hair out. I love her to infinity and beyond.

My editor, Amy Pierpont, from Forever. Her insight is more than I ever hoped for in an editor. She can take a look at a scene and see three different things that Id never thought to look for. Her knowledge and experience is a blessing to me, as is her ability to cut right to the important things. Im lucky to have her.

Im lucky to have Madeleine Colavita from Forever, as well. Shes always so quick to help me, no matter what I ask of her. Shes cheerful and friendly no matter what. Her enthusiasm over my character Brand always makes me smile. I love her to bits.

My agent, Catherine Drayton. Shes amazing and smart, experienced and awesome. I cant say enough about her other than Im so freaking lucky to have her. She knows what shes doing and she goes about doing it in such a classy way. Shes the best agent out there, hands down.

My beta readers Autumn from The Autumn Review, Natasha from Natasha is a Book Junkie, Momo from Books Over Boys. You guys are amazing. Your insight and opinions helped make this book what it is today. You helped me polish it until it shone. Thank you!!!

I have to say a special thank you to Autumn for being my sex guru for this book. When I was researching the er darker side to the sexual nature, Autumns input was invaluable. The girl knows sex. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with me! Hehe.

My publicity team: Kelly Simmon from Inkslinger PR and Jessica, Marisa, Morgan, and Jane from Forever. You guys rock at what you do and Im lucky to have you on my side.

My assistant, Avery. Thank you for making my life easier, one task at a time. Youre awesome and you know it.

And YOU. My awesome, amazing readers. Without you, these books wouldnt happen. I get to do what I do because of you. Im grateful for you every single day of my life. Thank you for being so awesomely amazing.

Then

The slap can be heard all the way down the beach.

The sound of flesh meeting flesh, sharp and loud, is unmistakable, and my head snaps up to find a skinny girl in a red swimsuit standing in front of the biggest bully of the beach, a sixth grader named Heather.

The summer sun is blistering hot, but my cheeks flush even hotter when I see the ugly expression on Heathers face as she towers over the smaller girl. A girl who cant be more than nine or ten and who is even now cradling her cheek with her hand.

I look around, but there are no adults in the vicinity, and Heather knows it. Her leer gets even wider as she leans down into the younger girls face, intent on doing even more damage than a handprint on a cheek.

Thats all it takes to send me rocketing up from my towel and down the beach toward them, my heels flipping sand in the air as I run. I reach them just in time to see Heather snatch some money from the girls small hand.

A tear slips down the girls cheek, which causes Heather to grin. Go cry to your mommy, little girl, she sneers, in the ugly way only a middle-school bully can.

The sheer sight of it makes me see red and I forget all logic as I rush toward the pair. I forget that Heather has tormented me every day of every summer and I forget that I cant be any older than the skinny girl in the red swimsuit.

In this moment, it doesnt matter.

What the hell, Heather? I demand as I skid to a stop in front of them. The other girl, the skinny one, sucks in her breath at my bad language. Its a groundable offense, but my Gran is all the way down the beach, sitting in the shade. Give her the money back.

Heather stares down at me and sweat glistens on her plump chin. Or what, shrimp? What will you do if I dont?

I lift my chin and look her in the eye.

Ill tell everyone, including your friends, what you were doing with Jamie Rawlins under the pier a while back. I saw you. I saw what you did. And if you dont give her the money back, Ill tell everyone.

Heathers eyes widen, then narrow. You wouldnt.

I nod, calmer now than I probably should be. I would.

Heather looks out over the lake and thinks about it for a minute before she tosses the crumpled up bills at my feet.

I hope it was worth it, she tells me hotly. Because Im going to make your life hell.

Whatever. I sniff, trying to appear unconcerned. Its not like you dont try already.

Heather glares at me and walks off, and I bend to pick up the money, handing it to the skinny girl. I smile at her.

Here you go. Im sorry shes so mean. I think someone pees in her cornflakes every day.

The girl seems speechless and she stares at me for a minute with wide blue eyes before shyly handing me a white shell.

Thank you for getting my ice cream money back, she says so softly that I have to strain to hear her. I collect these. The big nice ones are hard to find in the lake.

I smile again. Youre right, its hard to find them. Thank you! Im going to swim out to the buoy line. Wanna come?

The girl stares out at the battered line of buoys that bob up and down in the current a hundred yards out. She looks a little uncertain, a little scared.

I cant, she finally answers. My mom would kill me. The currents too bad.

I nod as if I understand what its like to have a mother that cares. My own doesnt even know that I can swim.

Okay, I tell the girl. Ill see you around.

She watches me as I jog back and drop the shell on my towel before I dive into the current, swimming over and under the frigid waves like a seal. When I finally reach the buoys, I grab onto one, clinging tightly as it bobs, while I push my hair out of my face with cold fingers.

Glancing back toward the beach, I hunt for the girl in the red swimsuit, but I dont see her anywhere. Shes gone, and I realize something.

I didnt even ask her name.

Dominic

Now

I like to watch.

I know that I shouldnt, but I dont really give a shit. I like the flash of skin, the sweaty limbs, the sex smells, the fucking

Watching makes me feel something. Its one of the only things that does.

Some things never change, Dominic, Kira murmurs as her hand splays across my open shirt, her long brown hair moving in the breeze, tickling my chest as she watches with me. Youre just the same a freak. I love that.

I dont answer because shes right. Im a fucking freak. She knows it and I know it, and neither of us care. If anything, Kira likes it. She must, because shes stuck by me for a long time. She knows me better than anyone and she definitely knows what I like.