Frank M. Lachmann - Transforming Narcissism: Reflections on Empathy, Humor, and Expectations

Transforming

Narcissism

Psychoanalytic Inquiry Book Series

Vol. 1: Reflections on Self Psychology
Joseph D. Lichtenberg & Samuel Kaplan (eds.)

Vol. 2: Psychoanalysis and Infant Research
Joseph D. Lichtenberg

Vol. 4: Structures of Subjectivity: Explorations
in Psychoanalytic Phenomenology
George E. Atwood & Robert D. Stolorow

Vol. 7: The Borderline Patient: Emerging
Concepts in Diagnosis, Psychodynamics,
and Treatment, Vol. 2 James S. Grotstein,
Marion F. Solomon, & Joan A. Lang (eds.)

Vol. 8: Psychoanalytic Treatment:
An Intersubjective Approach Robert D. Stolorow,
Bernard Brandchaft, & George E. Atwood

Vol. 9: Female Homosexuality:
Choice Without Volition Elaine V. Siegel

Vol. 10: Psychoanalysis and Motivation
Joseph D. Lichtenberg

Vol. 11: Cancer Stories: Creativity and
Self-Repair Esther Dreifuss Kattan

Vol. 12: Contexts of Being: The Intersubjective
Foundations of Psychological Life
Robert D. Stolorow & George E. Atwood

Vol. 13: Self and Motivational Systems:
Toward a Theory of Psychoanalytic Technique
Joseph D. Lichtenberg, Frank M. Lachmann,
& James L. Fosshage

Vol. 14: Affects as Process: An Inquiry into the
Centrality of Affect in Psychological Life
Joseph M. Jones

Vol. 15: Understanding Therapeutic Action:
Psychodynamic Concepts of Cure
Lawrence E. Lifson (ed.)

Vol. 16: The Clinical Exchange: Techniques
Derived from Self and Motivational Systems
Joseph D. Lichtenberg, Frank M. Lachmann,
& James L. Fosshage

Vol. 17: Working Intersubjectively:
Contextualism in Psychoanalytic Practice
Donna M. Orange, George E. Atwood,
& Robert D. Stolorow

Vol. 18: Kohut, Loewald, and the Postmoderns:
A Comparative Study of Self and Relationship
Judith Guss Teicholz

Vol. 19: A Spirit of Inquiry: Communication in
Psychoanalysis Joseph D. Lichtenberg,
Frank M. Lachmann, & James L. Fosshage

Vol. 20: Craft and Spirit: A Guide to Exploratory
Psychotherapies Joseph D. Lichtenberg

Vol. 21: Attachment and Sexuality
Diana Diamond, Sidney J. Blatt,
& Joseph D. Lichtenberg

Vol. 22: Psychotherapy and Medication:
The Challenge of Integration
Fredric N. Busch & Larry S. Sandberg

Vol. 23: Trauma and Human Existence:
Autobiographical, Psychoanalytic, and
Philosophical Reflections
Robert D. Stolorow

Vol. 24: Jealousy and Envy: New Views
about Two Powerful Feelings
Lon Wurmser & Heidrun Jarass

Vol. 25: Sensuality and Sexuality Across the
Divide of Shame Joseph D. Lichtenberg

Vol. 26: Living Systems, Evolving
Consciousness, and the Emerging Person:
A Collection of Papers from the Life Work of
Louis Sander Louis Sander

Vol. 27: Toward a Psychology of Uncertainty:
Trauma-Centered Psychoanalysis
Doris Brothers

Vol. 28: Transforming Narcissism: Reflections
on Empathy, Humor, and Expectations
Frank Lachmann

Transforming

Narcissism

Reflections on Empathy,
Humor, and Expectations

Frank M. Lachmann

2008 by Taylor & Francis Group, LLC

Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

International Standard Book Number-13: 978-0-88163-479-2 (Softcover) 978-0-88163-468-6 (0)

Except as permitted under U.S. Copyright Law, no part of this book may be reprinted, reproduced, transmitted, or utilized in any form by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying, microfilming, and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the publishers.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lachmann, Frank M.

Transforming narcissism : reflections on empathy, humor, and expectations / Frank Lachmann.

p. ; cm. -- (Psychoanalytic inquiry book series ; v. 28)

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-0-88163-479-2 (alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-0-88163-468-6 (alk. paper)

1. Kohut, Heinz. 2. Self psychology. 3. Psychoanalysis. 4. Narcissism. 5. Empathy. 6. Ego. 7. Mother and infant. I. Title. II. Series.

[DNLM: 1. Kohut, Heinz. 2. Narcissism. 3. Empathy. 4. Humor. 5. Mother-Child Relations. 6. Psychotherapeutic Processes. W1 PS427F v.28 2008 / WM 460.5.E3 L138t 2008]

RC489.S43L33 2008

616.8917--dc22

sp; 2007041592

Visit the Taylor & Francis Web site at
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To
Annette
Peter, Suzanne, Gene,
Brendan, Dylan, Matthew,
and Collin

O h, no! Not another book about narcissism! I know no one has directly said this to me, but Ill bet some people are thinking it. So here is my response to them.

Why do we need another book on narcissism and why did I want to write it? In spite of Kohuts heroic efforts and those of many other analysts who have tried, discussions of narcissism in patients have tended to retain pejorative moralistic connotations of obnoxious arrogance, insufferable self-centeredness, and intolerable conceit. Yet, a wealth of literature has been produced that speaks of the subtleties of the self-pathology that underlies the overt haughty behavior that has given narcissism such a bad name. Yet, this literature has had little effect. How often in both common and professional usage is someone described as a total narcissist? Although there is a clear difference in having such a person as a parent, an employer, a friend, or a patient, that difference is not always apparent when I hear colleagues and students describe treatments of narcissistic disorders or, using Kohuts later terminology, which I prefer, self-pathology. Will this book make a difference? All I can do is to try.

Using Kohuts seminal paper, Forms and Transformations of Narcissism, as a springboard, in the chapters to follow I update his proposals for contemporary clinicians with a particular recognition of the extent to which actions and attitudes usually called narcissistic serve self- and interactive regulatory functions. This book elaborates, expands on, and modifies Kohuts thesis that archaic narcissism is transformed in the course of development or through treatment into empathy, humor, creativity, an acceptance of transience, and wisdom.

Right away we bump head-on into a problem. Kohut did not provide a clear discussion of the process whereby these transformations take place. What is required to bring about such transformations as he proposed? I was intrigued by this question and came up with a proposal derived from Kohuts essay: A treatment that would have the kind of end-products that Kohut envisioned ought to have the very same elements in it as it goes along. That is, the process of treatment itself ought to embody or contain or otherwise reflect empathy, humor, creativity, an acceptance of transience, and wisdom. If the process of treatmentthe analystpatient interactiondid contain these qualities, then it would not be surprising if these qualities, the now transformed narcissism, became the permanent acquisition of the patient.