Lena Derhally - The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

The Facebook Narcissist

How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism

Lena Derhally

Foreword by Mika Brzezinski

To my dear friend, Lisa McCluskey, who maintains my website and Facebook author page so I can keep a healthy distance from social mediaI appreciate all of it.

Love you!

In The Facebook Narcissist, Lena Derhally helps you gain insight into narcissistic behaviors and outlines a way to break through the minefield of social media. Further, providing the tools for you to develop a healthier, functioning relationship with yourself. The narrative in these pages provides an in-depth exploration that you can easily apply to your own experiences.

It will come as no surprise to anyone that prioritizing mental health is a focus and priority of mine. Every day, were bombarded with depictions of the beautiful, successful, perfect-bodied, socially conscious, and extroverted individuals that our culture has decided is the ideal self, and we berate ourselves when we dont measure up. Social media has changed the world in massive and still poorly understood ways. And narcissism has played an important role in this process at the individual, network, and cultural levels. The guidance in this book can help every single one of us to navigate difficult and challenging times and to thrive.

Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBCs Morning Joe,New York Times bestselling author of Know Your Value, Earn It, and Comeback Careers

The concept of this book materialized during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, with the first full draft written in the first half of 2021 while my children were in a mix of virtual and hybrid school. I was simultaneously trying to see clients in my psychotherapy practice, manage my childrens schooling, coach rec soccer, and write a book, among other things. It was an ambitious plan, and at times I really felt like I was crazy, but I was determined to see this concept come to fruition. I am so grateful it did, and this book would never have been possible without the following people:

First and foremost, I have an immense amount of gratitude for my literary agent, Linda Konner. There would be no The Facebook Narcissist without her. Linda believed in me right away, and she helped hone this concept to something different than what I had originally presented to her, so the idea was really all hers. Linda, I am forever grateful to you for your guidance, wisdom, and tenacity. This book is out in the world because of you.

I would also like to thank everyone at my publisher, HCI Books. The team at HCI has fully supported and embraced my writing as a relatively new author and have included me in the creative process every step of the way. I would especially like to thank my fantastic editor, Christine Belleris, who has a real talent for writing catchy subheadings and making a manuscript come alive. Thank you to Lindsey Mach for working many months ahead on marketing and publicity. I appreciate all the brainstorming, phone calls, and your dedication to this project!

To Mika Brzezinski: You are an inimitable powerhouse, and I am so honored you wrote the foreword for this book. You are the perfect person to help shed light on this important topic. Thank you for all you do. And to Mark Brzezinski: Thank you for being a wonderful friend to my family. You are such a positive light in the world, and we are blessed to know you.

I would also like to thank the brilliant and generous experts I interviewed who shared their time, research, and knowledge with me: W. Keith Campbell, Agnieszka Golec de Zavala, Anne Manne, and Kaitlin Ugolik Phillips. Your work is making the world a better place, and I am truly honored you and your work were a part of this book.

Hayla Wong and Terra Kater, thank you for generously sharing your stories and your vulnerability for this book. Thank you for all the good you do in the world, and for using social media as a vehicle for positive change.

To all who shared their anonymous stories with me about their experiences with people with narcissistic traits: I know it isnt easy to think about these painful or upsetting experiences, but I also know others reading about your stories (or your loved ones stories) and the survival of narcissistic abuse will help others.

To 1455 Literary Arts, especially Sean Murphy and Pamela Sorensen, thank you for your unwavering support of writers and creatives, and thank you so much for your support for me. It means the world.

What helped keep me sane while writing this book was the support of my loved ones. I am lucky to have fantastic friends, but I would in particular like to thank those who were a huge part of support for this particular book over the past two years whether it was sending me surprise donuts, doing group Zoom calls, picking up the phone in my moment of need, having heart to hearts, sharing enthusiasm for this book, reading over the proposal or chapters, and providing feedback for any decision related to the book, I appreciate it all: Robyn, Jenny HLP, Suz, Christine, Kathryn, Meg, Kim, Erin, Sarah H, Massi, Meredith, and Kasia.

This book is dedicated to one of my dearest friends, Lisa McCluskey, but she also belongs here in the acknowledgments. Lisa is not only a caring friend, but she has been handling my marketing, social media, and website since I became an author in 2019. I am so grateful for all you do, and words will never adequately express my gratitude. I hope surprise cases of Diet Coke and Vietnamese coffee are just some of the ways you know how appreciated you are.

My good friends Amanda and Kerstin deserve an award for being the most generous friends a gal could ask for. They have been there for me every day, always available to video chat. They have been through every single up and down, providing feedback, support, and generally just being my biggest cheerleaders. I dont know what I would have done without either of you throughout this process, and in general. I have so much gratitude and love for you both.

I am also incredibly lucky to have a supportive family, including a large extended family. Thank you for all the support and love to my siblings (this includes my amazing siblings-in-law), my uncles, aunts, cousins, and my cousins-in-law.

Most importantly in the family, my parents, Candace and Odeh are my biggest fans. Their belief and unconditional love for me is truly why I have been able to pursue my dreams in life. Thank you for modeling persistence, love, confidence, compassion, generosity, and integrity for me.

My children are my biggest inspiration and are the most compassionate, inclusive, and generous humans I know. In a world that can often seem cruel and unforgiving, they remind me of all that is good.

Last but certainly not least, this book would certainly not have been possible without my husband, Zeid. He supports all my ideas, dreams, and most importantly my happiness. He is a true partner in every sense of the word and my best friend and biggest supporter. Thank you for always being in my corner and for helping to make all the dreams I had as a little girl come true.

Throughout the twenty years I had his physical presence with me, my