Alison Rogers - Breathing Space for New Mothers: Rest, Stretch, and Smile--One Yoga Minute at a Time

Im so grateful to have mindfulness resources like Breathing Space for New Mothers to recommend to my patients. As a reproductive psychiatrist, Im always looking for ways to support women in their body-mind emotions and remind us all about the healing power of breath.

Alexandra Sacks, MD, reproductive psychiatrist and author of What No One Tells You: A Guide to Your Emotions from Pregnancy to Motherhood

Breathing Space for New Mothers offers new mothers a mental shiftone that creates more room to trust ourselves, look after ourselves, and be ourselves even as we settle into this new role. Its a slowing down for our racing minds and our wild expectations, and it is truly a gift.

KJ DellAntonia, author of How to Be a Happier Parent and former editor of the New York Times Motherlode blog

Breathing Space for New Mothers is not just a parenting guide, its a life guide. This book is about cultivating a quality of being that allows us access to our deepest wisdom and intuition as mothers. Finally, a book that recognizes what is at the heart of parenting. The best thing we can do for our kids is be grounded and confident in our connection to ourselves and to them.

Hala Khouri, MA, cofounder and director of Off the Mat into the World and creator of the Radiant Pregnancy online yoga video

Copyright 2019 by Alison Rogers and Erin O. White. All rights reserved. No portion of this book, except for brief review, may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout the written permission of the publisher. For information contact North Atlantic Books.

Published by

North Atlantic Books

Berkeley, California

Cover design by Jess Morphew

Book design by Happenstance Type-O-Rama

Illustrations by Yutaka Ai

Printed in the United States of America

Breathing Space for New Mothers: Rest, Stretch, and SmileOne Yoga Minute at a Time is sponsored and published by the Society for the Study of Native Arts and Sciences (dba North Atlantic Books), an educational nonprofit based in Berkeley, California, that collaborates with partners to develop cross-cultural perspectives, nurture holistic views of art, science, the humanities, and healing, and seed personal and global transformation by publishing work on the relationship of body, spirit, and nature.

North Atlantic Books publications are available through most bookstores. For further information, visit our website at www.northatlanticbooks.com or call 800-733-3000.

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: The following information is intended for general information purposes only. Individuals should always see their health care provider before administering any suggestions made in this book. Any application of the material set forth in the following pages is at the readers discretion and is his or her sole responsibility.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Rogers, Alison, 1952 author. | White, Erin O., author.

Title: Breathing space for new mothers : rest, stretch, and smileone yoga

minute at a time / Alison Rogers with Erin O. White.

Description: Berkeley, California : North Atlantic Books, 2019.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019017337 (print) | LCCN 2019020366 (ebook) | ISBN

9781623173432 (E-Book) | ISBN 9781623173425 (paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Motherhood. | Parenting. | Families. | Hatha yoga. |

Self-actualization (Psychology) | BISAC: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS /

Parenting / Motherhood. | HEALTH & FITNESS / Yoga. | BODY, MIND & SPIRIT /

Meditation.

Classification: LCC HQ759 (ebook) | LCC HQ759 .R633 2019 (print) | DDC

306.874/3dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019017337

This book includes recycled material and material from well-managed forests. North Atlantic Books is committed to the protection of our environment. We print on recycled paper whenever possible and partner with printers who strive to use environmentally responsible practices.

To Matt, Ted, and Nick, the best of all teachers.

and

To all the women who manage to find grit and grace in the midst of the messy, chaotic love that is motherhood, may you

live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.

John O'Donohue

ar

To my mother, Catherine White, who found delight in motherhood and showed me how to find it too.

eow

Do you remember the day you returned home with your baby? Maybe she was a few days oldor just a few hours. Perhaps your baby was born prematurely, and so your homecoming followed weeks of uncertainty and vigilance. Or maybe he was born in your bedroom, and your first journey was just a slow walk to the kitchen for a glass of water. No matter the circumstances, you traveled a great distance to an entirely new life. You stepped over the transom into motherhood, and chances are you are still acclimating to this undiscovered country. We want to welcome you. Its noisy and beautiful and wild, and were so glad youre here.

As you read this, your baby might be sleeping or feeding, or maybe you are pushing a stroller with one hand and holding this book with the other. One thing we know for certain is that youve got a lot on your mind: vaccinations, diapers, feeding positions, laundry. And youre carrying a lot in your body too: healing incisions, swollen or even infected breasts, sore back, aching head. All this can make it nearly impossible to remember that youve recently been present at a miracle. Hell, you recently wrought a miracle! You made a baby. And because the experiences of birth and postpartum have such profound emotional and physical components, that miracle has changed you.

The answer to the equation baby+woman is not a simple one. Motherhood is a still-mysterious alchemy of hormones and experience and emotion that cant be easily teased apart. People talk about motherhood as a wild ride, or they talk about learning to surf the waves with your baby, but the truth is that youre not riding a wave, you are the wave, and you are being pulled toward the shore of your baby by the sheer force of her needs, which cant be delayed to a more convenient or relaxing time. Because what she needs is you.

Which is why it can be so easy to abandon yourself in these postpartum weeks and months. You might feel your needs pale in comparison to your babys needs; you might feel selfish for thinking of what you need when theres this little helpless baby to take care of. And chances are youre not the only one whose attention is now entirely focused on the baby. Youve traded a midwife or ob/gyn for a pediatrician, and no one is interested in your daily protein intake any more. It now takes significant effort to get the support you need, and so it can seem easier to just manage, to let things go and focus on the baby. The baby is healthythats all that matters. We hear this all the time, in reference to everything from emergency C-sections to postpartum depression. But a healthy baby isnt all that matters. You matter. Because while it might feel wonderful to have the people you love care so much about your baby, theres no denying you could use a little care yourself. You are recovering from the strenuous physical work of labor and delivery. You need to take sitz baths or tend to a Cesarean incision, to feed yourself and mentally prepare for going to the bathroom. And as your baby gets older, you need to get some exercise or see a friend or get a little work done. You could use a whole team of supporting actresses to help you regain your strength and equilibrium. You could use some attention. You need to be seen and nurtured with compassion, even if everyone else in your world is entirely focused on the baby.