Whitney Dineen [Dineen - Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs

Being a mom is tough, but its wonderful, funny, and the most exhausting thing ever. Dineen captures this humor-bordering-on-despair with an acute sense of comedic timing and a keen awareness of the often nonsensical world that is raising kids in modern society.

San Francisco Book Review, 5-stars

... Whitneys book, her voice, and experiences shared [are] hilarious but also raw, honest, and beautiful. I highly recommend Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs. It is a fun, easy read, but is also realistic. If taken to heart and mind, this book can help drive you to do good in the world and in your own personal life as a mother and as a person.

Portland Book Review

Whitney Dineen serves up an honest and hilarious portrayal of motherhood. Motherhood is tough and youre going to laugh or cry; you should always choose to laugh.

Jen Mann, NYT Bestselling Author of My Lame Life

Erma [Bombeck] would probably get the biggest charge out of Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs. Its beautifully written and a joy to read, even the parts that are embarrassing for some Victorian throwbacks like the authors husband. Dineen works a bit of magic here in this authentic, inspiring and very human collection of humorist writing. Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs is most highly recommended.

Jack Mangus for Readers Favorite, 5-stars

Laugh-out-loud funny, endearing, and so spot-on!

Bestselling Author, Becky Monson

With Motherhood Martyrdom and Costco Runs, Whitney Dineen has given us a beautiful, comical, and often poignant look into what raising children is really like. I found myself laughing and shedding a tear or two as I devoured the pages of this fantastic book. I absolutely adored it. And now Im off to renew my membership at Costco!

Bestselling Author, Jennifer Peel

Dineen and I are kindred spirits - modern day mothers who tell it like it is. She beautifully expresses her successes and failures as a mother, while making us all feel a little better about our own parenting failures. Although we are very similar - I applaud her ability to have a 5 & 7 year old that have only ever heard her say the word hell. This is what I call a GREAT mother!! This is a great read for anyone with children - and is looking for a light-hearted, humorous take on the reality that is parenting today.

Blogger, Laydee Googoogaga

A must read for every seasoned, new and expecting mother. Whitney shares her journey through motherhood with such raw honesty that will make you laugh, cry and possibly even tinkle a little.

Book Mama Blog

I have one word of advice for anyone preparing to read Motherhood Martyrdom and Costco Runs before they get started: use care where you read this book. The reason is simple. You see, you are likely to laugh out loud... repeatedly. As laughter makes for good medicine, I encourage you to grab your copy of this little gem soon. We could all use a little humor and a little healing!

Patricia Reding for Readers Favorite, 5-stars

seriously this book is hilarious! I mean if I was [reading it] in public and people saw me they would think that I have lost my mind!

Bethany Clark, Books and Wine are Lovely

Whitney explains motherhood in a way that all moms, young, old and in-between, can relate too. This book is a fabulous inside look at all the things we hope no other more seemingly put together mother will notice.

Aimee Brown, For the Love of Chick Lit

Whitney Dineen keeps the parenting struggle real. Each chapter is like a Costco sample, youll keep coming back for more super-size laughs and a jumbo dose of honesty.

Barbara Kahn, Baer Books

Whitney Dineen

Romantic Comedies

She Sins at Midnight

The Reinvention of Mimi Finnegan

Mimi Plus Two

Middle Reader Adventures

Wilhelmina and the Willamette Wig Factory

Who the Heck is Harvey Stingle?

Beware of the Basement (Coming in the fall of 2017)

Childrens Books

The Friendship Bench

This book is dedicated to all you breeders out there.

Copyright 2017 Whitney Dineen

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval systems, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the publishers.

Published in the United States by Thirty-Three Partners Publishing.

Library of Congress Cataloguing-In-Publication Data

Dineen, Whitney

Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs: a memoir / Whitney Dineen

ISBN: 978-0-9988620-0-2

A million thanks to my family and friends for being a part of my rollercoaster ride into motherhood. Im not sure I would have ever made it without you!

To my husband, Jimmy, youre an amazing husband and wonderful daddy to our littles, and Im thrilled to be on this journey with you! Youre also a lot of fun to tease. Sorry I had to rat out some of your peculiarities (I cite ding ding and your extra finger), but they were irresistible.

Mom and Dad, I adore you! Id probably still call child protective services on you, but please know that its nothing personal. Im full of gratitude for everything youve done for me and continue to do for me. Who knew Id be such a handful?

Dearest family and friends that Ive used for fodder, youre welcome for changing your names. I know youre probably going to try to distance yourselves from me now, but Im going to cling to you like wet toilet paper on the bottom of your shoe, so dont bother.

To my readers, I love you! Thank you for getting me and reading me and supporting me. I know youre probably just doing it because youre relieved theres someone out there crazier than you are, but thats cool. Im not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

To my writing buddies, Becky Monson, Jennifer Peel, Kathryn Biel, and Rich Amooi: who knew I could be so needy? A million thanks for your patience, advice, and friendship; they mean the world!

Im lucky enough to be a part of several online writing groups which offer endless author resources. Im thankful to all of them, but to Tracie Banister and my other friends at Chick Lit Chat, you continue to be the best support around!

Marlene Engel and Paula Bothwell, thank you for making me sound semi-literate by offering your proofreading skills. Id be lost without you.

Karan Eleni, you rock socks like a fox eating lox on a box! Thank you for all your hard work on my website and every other thing you do for me.

Thank you to my dear friend, Jen Ward. I can honestly say I tried very hard not to write this book, but youre such a big nag, I had to. Now that its done, Im really glad you were so pushy. Theres nothing like honest reflection to make you grateful for all the stops on your journey. And above all else, I am grateful!

This book is titled Motherhood Martyrdom and Costco Runs for one obvious reason. If you happen to be a mother of young children, you know your life is either spent hanging on the cross of said motherhood or running your entire brood to Costco for more toilet paper. Its who we are.

Many of the moms from my childhood were the stay at home variety. These ladies gave up a lot of personal and professional desires to be Johnny-on-the-spot for the home front. They scheduled everything from doctors appointments to music lessons to extracurricular activities. They made sure the wash was done, the house was clean, and meals were put on the table.

My mom found ways to express herself and cultivate her interests within the confines of her role as the CEO of our family. She wrote an article for a local Chicago paper and taught gourmet cooking classes. She did yoga with her friends and ran the hospital auxiliary. She also entertained on a grand scale and kept a big garden. She was one busy lady.