Freeman Peter - Curious pleasures: a gentlemans collection of beastliness: being a narrative of mankinds curious and carnal deeds and practices ; the whole forming a valuable, interesting and instructive compendium

About the Book

The best libraries in Victorian Britain kept this tome under lock and key, permitting access only to doctors and professors. Scotland Yard kept it in their reference library, and even Sherlock Holmes may have had recourse to a copy in certain investigations. In private collections across the English speaking world, it was kept on top shelves, or safely stowed in locked cabinets, beyond the reach of minors, domestics and spouses. Any woman who gazed upon its pages was said to have fainted away. Many antiquarian book sellers believe the book to have been a myth, others claimed it changed hands at enormous cost, and some are certain all original copies are now lost.

But this catalogue of the bizarre, illustrated with case studies predating Freud, did exist and is back in print over a century since its last apocryphal edition. This encyclopaedic treasure of adult curiosities and unacceptable female behaviour has been fully restored with the original illustrations intact. In modern hands, this forbidden work of scholarly madness will prove irresistible to the curious.

GENTLEMEN MAY BE INTERESTED TO CONSIDER THESE FURTHER PUBLICATIONS

Acorns are Edible, Virtue is Vital, some remarks concerning the alleviation of poverty and suppression of vice in both metropolitan and rural Britain.

L ADY P LUMPSTEAD .

Conquering Kilimanjaro, the astonishing record of the ascent of the great volcano by Colonel Lionel Trout, also of his subsequent regrettable consumption.

L IEUTENANT V ICTOR L T ROUT .

Corvettes and Cabin Boys, a tale of life before the mast in a mans navy.

C OMMODORE S ACHAVERAL S KINNER .

Curious Comestibles, a fascinating excursion along the less frequently travelled byways of dining, with extensive notes on the capture and preparation of diverse species.

B RIGADIER G ENERAL S IR I NKERMANN A LBERT C ROOM .

Curious Comportment, the definitive guide to etiquette as it pertains to unusual and unexpected situations.

S IR A LEXANDER R EDLAKESTONE C ROOM , B ART .

Domestic Discipline, an essential guide, which no modern household can afford to be without.

R EVD D AWES .

Ectoplasm: Form, Function and Occurrence, as illustrated by the mysterious events at Green Gables.

M ISS H ORTENSIA H AINAULT .

Fair Albion, a philosophical discourse on the natural advantages enjoyed by the English.

M R W ALTER S T J OHN M APLEDURHAM .

Flashing Blades, a novel of France under the Sun King.

M ISS L OUISA M ONKHAMPTON .

Flashing Steel, a novel of France under the Sun King.

M ISS L OUISA M ONKHAMPTON .

Flashing Frogs, a novel of France under the Sun King.

M ISS L OUISA M ONKHAMPTON .

Golgotha Beckons, advice concerning preparation for the second coming, including some important notes on dress.

R EVD B ENJAMIN B LACK DD.

Heresy, Sacrilege and Blasphemy, their suppression, a long overdue study into the decay of Christian values and what must be done to reverse this trend.

R EVD N ATHANIEL C ROWLEY .

Introducing Cuthbert Cornelius Cook, in which we meet the Great Detective and follow him through a dozen fascinating mysteries.

S IR A LBERT B ACON - F OYLE .

Mens Sana in Corpore Sano, a study of the virtues of purgatives, colonic irrigation and rhythmic exercise as pertaining to young men.

D R A RBUTHNOT A RBUTHNOT BM (B UDAPEST (F AILED )).

My Grandfather was not a Gorilla, the detailed refutation of Mr Charles Darwin and other theorists.

M R J EROBOAM D RILL .

Taxidermy for Teachers, the essential guide.

M ASTER W ILLIAM B ELL .

The Spiritualists Handbook, a guide to the purchase and use of such indispensible accessories as butter muslin, invisible thread and Dr Allingtons Adjustable Thermometer.

D R C YPRIAN A LLINGTON .

The Casebook of Cuthbert Cornelius Cook, in which the Great Detective solves numerous mysteries and earns the thanks of a grateful sovereign.

S IR A LBERT B ACON - F OYLE .

The Return of Cuthbert Cornelius Cook, in which the Great Detective solves numerous mysteries and earns the thanks of a grateful sovereign again.

S IR A LBERT B ACON-FOYLE .

The Revenge of Cuthbert Cornelius Cook, in which the Great Detective solves numerous mysteries and is eaten by termites.

S IR A LBERT B ACON-FOYLE .

Where Next the Empire?, a volume proposing the answers to certain significant questions as to the necessity of enlarging the British Empire.

C OLONEL A NDERS B READBATH .

Wildebeest and Wapiti, how to shoot them and numerous other species, with extensive illustrations.

M AJOR C HARLES L AMPETER .

T HE CONSEQUENCES ARE INEVITABLE

H ELPLESS AGAINST THE EROTIC ADVANCES OF HER PARTNER

I WATCHED FROM A DISTANCE, AS BEFITS THE DETACHED OBSERVER

T O EMPLOY A MAGNIFYING GLASS IN ORDER TO ALLOW HIM TO DETECT MINUTE IMPERFECTIONS IN THE GIRLS UNIFORMS

I T SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THERE IS NO PRACTICAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BIRCHING AS ADMINISTERED FOR PUNISHMENT AND AS A FORM OF CARNALITY

W HOM HE WILL INVITE TO WALK UPON HIS PROSTRATE FORM

T HESE GIRLS, WHO ARE APPARENTLY OBLIVIOUS TO EVEN THE MOST SELF-EVIDENT OF MORAL PRACTICES

A N INDEPENDENT CREATURE, PERHAPS PERMITTING A MAN OR WOMAN TO STROKE HER, TICKLE HER UNDER HER CHIN OR FEED HER DELICACIES, BUT REACTING TO LIBERTIES WITH SPITTING AND VICIOUS SWIPES OF HER CLAWS

W HO WOULD JOYFULLY REMOVE THOSE FEW SCANTY GARMENTS THEY WORE IN THE DAYTIME AND DANCE NAKED IN THE FIRELIGHT

A T THE DOMICILE OF M R AND M RS L ----- P -----, NEAR M ORETONHAMPSTEAD IN D EVON, A CERTAIN RITUAL IS CARRIED OUT EACH F RIDAY EVENING

L ORD M -----, A MAN WHO, WHILE A PEER OF THE REALM AND LORD OF SEVENTY THOUSAND ACRES AND AN IMMENSE FORTURE, ALSO HAPPENS TO BE FOUR FEET AND EIGHT INCHES IN HEIGHT

T O ILLUSTRATE THE EXTRAORDINARY LENGTHS DEVIANTS WILL GO TO IN ORDER TO INDULGE THEIR BEASTLINESS

H AVING BEEN PERSONALLY SELECTED BY M ADAME HERSELF

T HIS IS SAID TO GREATLY STIMULATE M ADAME M ------S TRADE

M R E ----- H ----, OF S TEEPLE F ELCHING IN THE COUNTY OF R UTLAND, EXTENDS THIS PRACTICE SOMEWHAT FURTHER

I NSTEAD CHOSE TO LIVE IN P ARIS AND INVEST IN CINEMATOGRAPHY

H ER NATURAL ALARM AT HIS STRUGGLES AND FOREIGN EXPOSTULATIONS

I FEEL OBLIGED TO POINT OUT THAT HE HAS THE ANATOMY QUITE WRONG, PLACING TWO PAIRS OF LEGS IN AN ANTERIOR POSITION AND A FURTHER TWO PAIRS TOWARDS THE POSTERIOR, RATHER THAN THE CORRECT COMBINATION OF THREE PAIRS OF LEGS AND FOUR PAIRS OF PSEUDOPODS

I NCAPABLE OF PERFORMING HIS CONJUGAL DUTIES WITHOUT FIRST WATCHING HIS YOUNG BRIDE UNDRESS ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE MIRROR

S OME CONSIDER LAVENDERISM TO REPRESENT AN STHETIC CHOICE, ARGUING THAT THE IDEALIZED MALE BODY REPRESENTS THE CULMINATION OF HUMAN BEAUTY

I REGRET TO SAY THAT HER HUSBANDS RESPONSE WAS NOT A CHARITABLE ONE

S CARCELY HAD THE FIRST OF HIS LONG, WATERPROOF COATS BEEN PURCHASED THAN IT WAS BEING PUT TO IMPROPER USE

A PRACTICE WHICH MIGHT BE EXCUSED ON THE GROUNDS THAT SUCH RIGOURS ARE A BENEFIT TO STRENGTH AND STAMINA

N EVERTHELESS, ITS ALARMING ASPECT NOTWITHSTANDING, THE MACHINE WAS APPARENTLY A SUCCESS