Rodney Ee - Knee How? The further misadventures of a globe-trotting Singaporean

2021 Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited

Published by Marshall Cavendish Editions

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National Library Board, Singapore Cataloguing in Publication Data

Names: Ee, Rodney, author. | Cotton, Herv, illustrator.

Title: Knee how? : the further misadventures of a globe-trotting Singaporean /

Rodney Ee ; illustrations by Herv Cotton.

Description: Singapore : Marshall Cavendish Editions, [2021]

Identifiers: OCN 1224299304 | eISBN 978 981 4928 98 4

Subjects: LCSH: Ee, RodneyTravel. | Voyages and travels. | Travelers.

Classification: DDC 910dc23

Printed in Singapore

All illustrations by Herv Cotton

A special note of thanks to all the following people who supported me in the creation and publishing of this book.

My family, for always being supportive of my endeavours.

Herve, for always being a great friend and contributing more wonderful illustrations for this book.

Julie, for helping me review the preliminary drafts and giving me great feedback.

Melvin and the team from Marshall Cavendish, for continuing to support local writers like me.

And finally, my long-suffering wife Michelle, who after enduring sub-zero temperatures, many hours of disruption to her beauty rest, and squadrons of tsetse flies on our travels, is still by my side.

It was April in the year 2013. In a savvy French caf named Cordon Bleu along Thomson Road, a little-known writer invited an audience of family and friends to join him for a small event. The ambience was cosy, with some of the writers photos adorning the walls of the caf, and the food was magnifique compliments of the very talented Monsieur and Madame Herve Cotton.

After more than ten years of collecting stories and travel experiences, two years of hammering away at keyboards, enduring countless hours of writers block, and many more months of cornea-damaging proofreading; rewriting of several paragraphs (and sometimes whole chapters); haggling (and begging) with editors to save some lines, and running after the cartoonist for completed sketches, the book was finally launched to some fanfare. It was mission accomplished, a dream fulfilled, and a time for carpe diem.

The writer signs a couple of books at the event for some fawning fans (or so he imagines), and then comes face-to-face with an old friend. He picks up the book, looks at its cover, skims through the pages quickly, read a couple of lines, and then, in one fell swoop, proceeds to throw the writer off the face of a steep cliff. Nice book, whens the next one?

The world has moved on since that fateful day. Great men and women have gone to meet their maker, global markets have continued on a rollercoaster ride, and Singapores soccer team is no closer to qualifying for the World Cup. Political correctness has been booted out the door, the tension between globalisation and nationalisation has never been higher, and the route to the presidency is now through your twitter account.

Global pollution levels remain high, and leaders are turning a blind eye. Global warming is on the rise, and with the heat, so too the number of times I need to shower every day. The fresh water needs of the global population are also rising, in tandem with global sea levels, which threaten to wipe out tiny island states. In a few years, my honeymoon location might be under water, and we would need to scuba-dive to make a romantic return. Species extinction rates are accelerating, yet dodos and morons are proliferating.

The only constant in all this is change, and the only certainty is taxes and death, plus the fact that I always seem to need to take a dump in toilets that were last cleaned at the end of the last millennium. Free Wi-Fi is everywhere, and the most important travel accessory is no longer your passport, but the selfie stick. Instant gratification on social media is on the rise, and TikTok is no longer just the sound that your clock makes, but the latest must-have platform for promoting yourself and your products.

Not long after the book launch, I moved on to a new job, but my voracious appetite for travel meant scooting off on airplanes whenever I could find some time, even if it was just for a few days. Trying to juggle the desire to document these experiences with the demands of the new role, has been like trying to maintain adulterous relationships with two insanely jealous mistresses, whilst trying to keep the affairs private from my long-suffering wife Michelle. At times, it has been a challenge to find the energy and the inspiration after long days at work, extended periods of procrastination, and endless hours of distractions on Netflix. So, if I should see you at the launch of this new labour of love, please do me a favour do not ask me there and then, when the next book will be.

WarningI bite.

Sometime during the late 1980s, when big hair and shoulder pads ruled the fashion world, a seventeen-year old walked around the cobblestoned streets of London with his college mates, on his maiden trip to the country that gave him Queens Elizabeth and Mercury. He took in the sights of landmarks he had come to know from watching television and reading books, and listening to broadcasts from the BBC World Service. He visited the great museums and the flea markets, and bought memorabilia of his favourite soccer team. He navigated the complexities of the London Tube, and ate fish and chips at Picadilly. He also came to appreciate the theatre of the West End, and reeled in shock and horror, when fellow Singaporean Glen Goei did a full monty onstage, opposite Sir Anthony Hopkins in David Henry Hwangs iconic