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Raymond Berger - Gay and Gray: The Older Homosexual Man, Second Edition

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In the absence of accurate information, American culture has upheld a distorted view of what it means to be an older gay man. Gay and Gray is the first and only scholarly full-length treatment of older gay men in America today. It breaks the stereotype that older gay men are strange, lonely creatures and reveals that most older gay men are well-adjusted to their homosexuality and the aging process.
This second edition contains four new chapters that present additional perspectives on the reality of gay aging. Dr. Minnigerodes study shows that older gay men do not perceive themselves as growing old faster than their heterosexual counterparts, and that forty is the age at which most gay men believe that the label young no longer applies--this finding led Berger and other researchers to define older gay men as those over forty. Pope and Schulz confirm Bergers finding that for most older gay men a continuation of sexual activity and sexual enjoyment is the norm. John Grubes paper on the interaction of older gay men with younger gay liberationists explores the cultural divide between todays older gay man and his younger counterpart, filling a gap left in the first edition. And a concluding chapter by Richard Friend on a theory of successful gay aging summarizes much of the current thinking about this topic.
The true situation of the older homosexual male presented in Gay and Gray challenges preconceptions about what it means to be old and gay. It asserts that in most ways, older gay men are indistinguishable from other older people. Because the book portrays older gay men in a realistic and sympathetic light, it is therapeutic for the many gay men who have been burdened with societys negative and distorted views about them. These men may compare their own lives to those of the respondents described in the book. Gay and Gray offers younger gay men a rare glimpse into their futures and enlightens and comforts those who count older gay men among their family and friends. The conclusions drawn in the book will change peoples perspectives and offer new ways of thinking for and about older gay men.
Gay and Gray is filled with rich case histories and treats its subject with dignity and compassion. Topics of focus include:
  • love relationships
  • social and psychological adjustment
  • gay community
  • self-acceptance
  • being in the closet and coming out as a gay person
  • intergenerational attitudes
  • popular stereotypes
    As the first intensive interview and questionnaire study of gay men aged 40 and older in America, Gay and Gray examines the lives of these men in light of cultural stereotypes. Author Berger asks about the social lives of these men, their involvement in both the heterosexual and homosexual communities, their coming out experiences, their attitudes about younger gays, their experiences in growing older, and their strategies for adapting to lifes challenges. In the study, Berger reveals that, contrary to stereotypic views, most older gay men are well-integrated into social networks and lead active and generally satisfying lives. He found that few live alone; most scored as well as younger gays on measures of psychological adjustment, such as self-acceptance; many are open about their homosexuality with family, friends, and colleagues; and the most well-adjusted older gay men were integrated into a homosexual community, associated with younger gay men, and were unwilling to change their sexual orientation.

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Gay and Gray The Older Homosexual Man Second Edition HAWORTH Gay Lesbian - photo 1
Gay and Gray
The Older Homosexual Man
Second Edition
HAWORTH Gay & Lesbian Studies
John P. De Cecco , PhD
Editor in Chief
New, Recent, and Forthcoming Etles:
Gay Relationships edited by John De Cecco
Perverts by Official Order: The Campaign Against Homosexuals by the United States Navy by Lawrence R Murphy
Bad Boys and Tough Tattoos: A Social History of the Tattoo with Gangs, Sailors, and Street-Comer Punks by Samuel M Steward
Growing Up Gay in the South: Race, Gender, and Journeys of the Spirit by James T. Sears
Homosexuality and Sexuality: Dialogues of the Sexual Revolution, Volume I by Lawrence D. Mass
Homosexuality as Behavior and Identity: Dialogues of the Sexual Revolution, Volume II by Lawrence D. Mass
Sexuality and Eroticism Among Males in Moslem Societies edited by Arno Schmitt and Jehoeda Sofer
Understanding the Male Hustler by Samuel M. Steward
Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence by David Island and Patrick Letellier
The Golden Boy by James Melson
The Second Plague of Europe: AIDS Prevention and Sexual Transmission Among Men in Western Europe by Michael Pollak
Barrack Buddies and Soldier Lovers: Dialogues with Gay Young Men in the U.S. Military by Steven Zeeland
Outing: Shattering the Conspiracy of Silence by Warren Johansson and William A. Percy
The Bisexual Option, Second Edition by Fritz Klein
And the Flag Was Still There: Straight People, Gay People, and Sexuality in the U.S. Military by Lois Shawver
One-Handed Histories: The Emto-Politics of Gay Mak Video Pornography by John R. Burger
Sailors and Sexual Identity: Crossing the Line Between Straight and Gay in the U.S. Navy by Steven Zeeland
The Gay Males Odyssey in the Corporate World: From Disempowerment to Empowerment by Gerald V. Miller
Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions edited by Naomi Tucker
Gay and Gray: The Older Homosexual Man, Second Edition by Raymond M. Berger
Gay and Gray
The Older Homosexual Man
Second Edition
Raymond M. Berger, PhD
Gay and Gray The Older Homosexual Man Second Edition - image 2
First published by
The Haworth Press, Inc.
10 Alice Street
Binghamton, N Y 13904-1580
This edition published 2011 by Routledge
RoutledgeRoutledge
Taylor & Francis GroupTaylor & Francis Group
711 Third Avenue2 Park Square, Milton Park
New York, NY 10017Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN
1996 The Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, microfilm and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Printed in the United States of America.
1982 by the Board of Trustees of the University of Illinois. Reprinted by arrangement with the University of Illinois Press.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Berger, Raymond M. (Raymond), 1950
Gay and gray : the older homosexual man / Raymond M. Berger.-2nd ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
1. Aged gay menUnited StatesSocial conditions. 2. Aged gay menUnited StatesInterviews. I. Title.
HQ76.B475 1995
305.26dc20
95-23223
CIP
CONTENTS
Quentin Crisp
Raymond M. Berger, PhD
James J. Kelly, PhD
Fred A. Minnigerode
John Grube
Mark Pope
Richard Schulz
Richard A. Friend
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Raymond M. Berger, PhD, MSSW , has conducted research and written widely in the areas of aging, homosexuality, and social work practice and is the author of a popular social work research textbook. He has over fifteen years of teaching experience, serving on the faculties of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and California State University, Long Beach. In recognition of his scholarly and community work on behalf of older gay men, Dr. Berger received the Evelyn Hooker Research Award of the Gay Academic Union and the Humanitarian of the Year Award from the Dade County (Florida) Coalition for Human Rights.
Foreword
When Mr. Berger asked me to write a foreword to his excellent book, I was delighted (and honored), first because I so greatly admire his work and second because it deals with a subject about which I am so conspicuously equipped to write.
For gay men, they are indeed not longthe days of wine and roses; as Mr. Dowson put it. As soon as one can no longer be described as a boy, ones social and sexual life is finished.
I have sat with groups of middle-aged gay men who are discussing a guest who had not yet arrived at some gathering. Such phrases as, Mind you, he used to be sensational fell from their haggard lips. When the individual in question arrived, he turned out not to be some stooping, shuffling person. He was a young man of about twenty-eight years of age but he could no longer be described as a boy.
This problem cannot be applied to a woman. When she can no longer be called a girl, she remains a woman and can be admired as a picturesque ruin. She can be cheered on in her progress toward the grave with such condescending phrases as terribly well preserved but, in the portly gentleman in a three-piece suit who has become part of some impressive corporate structure, there is no vestige-nothing-of the exotic, bejewelled perfumed youth that was all the rage in some citys gay community. If he attempts to describe the romantic triumphs of his youth, he is openly mocked or quietly despised.
The false value set on conventional good looks and youth by gay men is as universal as it is fatuous. It never seems to occur to anyone that he might enjoy a longer-lasting, friendlier, or more sexually satisfying relationship with a potbellied man of forty than with some gilded though not gelded Adonis with whom he is always fighting for a position in front of the mirror. The desire is not so much to engage seriously with such a person as to be seen standing next to him in a gay bar or, better still, to be observed leaving the place with him.
Mr. Berger is to be congratulated on having found men to interview for this bookmen who did not suffer from this school-girlish obsession with cuteness and who are not bristling with their rights because they did not enter the gay world until they were middle-aged. They are of a species that must have been difficult to interrogate and even more difficult to understand. As one reads their absorbing histories, one cannot help wondering, if they could acquit themselves successfully in marriage and could produce a brood of children, why they wanted to endure the dangers, the discomforts, and the sheer nastiness of homosexual intercourse. I could not help suspecting that they wanted extramarital sexual experience without the complications of an affair, a courtship, a scandal-to say nothing of illegitimate offspring that pursuing a woman would entail. They wanted instant sex that we all know can never equal in flavor or in nutritional content of the old-fashioned stuff you had to peel and bring to the boil.
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