Matthew S Cox [Cox - A Vampire’s Guide to Surviving Holidays

A Vampires Guide to Surviving Holidays

Vampire Innocent #8

2019 Matthew S. Cox

All Rights Reserved

This novel is a work of fiction. Any similarities to actual persons living, dead, or undead is coincidental. No enchanted kittens were harmed in the making of this book. No portion of this book may be reproduced without written permission from the author. (Except for quoting a line or two in reviews/blog posts.)

Cover & interior art by: Alexandria Thompson

1

Adulting is Overrated

A nxiety has a way of making people rearrange their priorities. For me, I find myself worrying a lot more about the lives of my family and friends than my own considering Ive already lost it. Generally, Ive come to terms with becoming a vampire and things are even starting to feel second nature. But, dammit, the Universe is just not done screwing with me yet. Every day that passes without me getting sucked backwards through the inner workings of a pan-dimensional chaos machine counts as a victory.

Todays the first day since a pack of vampires from LA kidnapped my little brother and his friends that I havent noticed any trembling in my hands during moments where my attention isnt focused on anything specific. No, the shakes didnt come from fear, more restless energy and anger. Like an itch never quite exactly where I scratched, a sense of impending retaliation haunted me. Still kinda does. Completely out of sorts for my personality, Im worried we hadnt killed enough of those LA vampires. It would only take one getting away alivewell, unaliveand holding onto a grudge to create problems down the line. So, yeah, lots of looking over my shoulder.

That feeling of dread that used to haunt me whenever I went somewhere alone at night in life had come back, and dammitits not right! Im a creature of the night. Were not supposed to be jumping at shadows. And let me tell you, jumping at shadows is a real pain in the ass when your eyes cant see them.

Unlike before my death, Im not worrying about some random creep looking for a girl to assault. Now, I keep expecting angry vampires to drag me into an alley or stuff me in the trunk of a car. My pants arent going to be what they try to separate from my bodymore like my head. Maybe theyll chain me to a tree and let me wait for the sun to rise. Given a gloomy enough morning, the joke would be on them. Ultimately though, it feels exactly like it used to feel to be alone at night. And this bullcrap is something Id thought no longer applied to me. Getting away from that dread had been the second best part of becoming a vampire.

Yes, flying is awesome.

Anyway, finding myself scared in the dark again has me in a near permanent state of being pissed off.

For the most part since the LA incident, I kept up a normal face around my family, especially the Littles. Sophia is too empathic for her own good. She knows how bothered Ive been. Pretty sure shes the reason behind Ashley and Michelle taking me to TGI Fridays for a girls night out. Is it weird to go to Fridays on a Sunday? Do they have laws about that?

Anyway, a week and a few days without any sign of trouble from LA vampires could mean Im in the clear. Not like we pissed off anyone old, powerful, or politically important basically theyd been the vampire equivalent of a street gang. The most potent vampire involved, Armandyeah, I know but it wasnt his real namehad only been a vampire for roughly forty years, not even as old as Dalton. Hed also taken a sun bath, so hes not a problem anymore. The bigger worry is him having a sire or progeny whod be looking for payback.

If someone ever killed Dalton, the idea of me going off on a revenge quest doesnt seem likely. For one thing, Im not a violent personmostly. Dying has definitely given me new confidence. For another thing, any vampire who could kill Dalton would completely spank me. Any chance for me to avenge him would rely on sneakiness combined with a boatload of luck, and as the spyglass incident proved, my attempts at being a thief dont pan out.

By the way, I mean thief in the sense of the roleplaying games Dad and Sierra like. You know, like character classes and fantasy stuff. Those thieves dont necessarily all steal; theyre good at stealth. At least, thats how Sierra plays hers. Kinda strange that she regards taking property as something bad guys do but she has no problem ambushing and killing the enemies. Like, theft is bad but murder isnt? Guess thats kinda like people who watch a movie with massive amounts of violence, rape, drug use, or that sorta thing, but only seem to have a problem if the characters use bad words.

Im astounded Sam brushed off the entire incident like something hed seen in a movie. I mean, for real my little brother had a vampires severed arm dangling from his neck like a tie. As far as hes concerned that whole experience had been a cool adventure. And yeah, I looked into his head to make sure he didnt crack and go nuts. Despite being scared during a few close call moments, he really did regard the whole situation as exciting. Hed been more worried about me being hurt than himself. Fortunately, hes not in any hurry to go on another adventure with murderous vampires.

It seems my new normal is spilling over into my siblings definition of ordinary, too.

I mean for crying out loud, Sophia has a teleporting kitten she made from mushroom dust.

So, anyway, Ashley and Michelle showed up at the house earlier and whisked me out the door the way they used to do when wed go hang out together before the bad thing happened. No, Im not talking about my almost-murder and becoming a vampire. The bad thing is us growing upor at least starting to. Thoughts like this shouldnt be in my head considering Im eighteen. Then again, undeath is quite a shock to the system. Hell, it made me appear a few years younger, so its probably powerful enough to alter my brain, too.

A girl my age shouldnt feel nostalgic. I havent had enough life yet. Well, I mean life metaphorically there. And its not like Im having a crisis like my parents where theyve become so overwhelmed with responsibilities they want to jump back to being fourteen again. My nostalgia takes the form of missing the time from like seventh grade to junior year in high school when the three of us had been old enough to enjoy a little independence while remaining young enough to dodge any true responsibilities. Dad is pretty sure vampirism did something to my head since he only started missing those years after he turned forty.

And, while getting frozen looking like Im somewhere between fourteen and seventeen depending how the light hits my face has more than its share of annoyances, Im never going to get any older or fatter or worn out. Yeah, being a vampire is pretty damn amazing. Just wish the price of admission wasnt so damn high.

Sitting at a table in Fridays with Ash and Chelle reminds me of like a year or two ago. None of us really appreciated the drastic changes wed all crash face first into once high school ended. Like blind lemmings rushing for a cliff, we only thought about having fun until one day, society expected us to grow up. The nerve.