Edelman - Love Voltaire Us Apart: a Philosopher?s Guide to Relationships

LOVE VOLTAIRE US APART

LOVE VOLTAIRE US APART

a PHILOSOPHERS
GUIDE to RELATIONSHIPS

JULIA EDELMAN

illustrated by
HALLIE BATEMAN

Published in the UK in 2016 by
Icon Books Ltd, Omnibus Business Centre,
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ISBN: 978-178578-099-8

Text copyright 2016 Julia Edelman
Illustration copyright 2016 Icon Books
The author has asserted her moral rights

Based on and includes material from Excerpts from Philosophers Breakup Letters
Throughout History 2015 The New Yorker

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, or by any means, without prior permission in writing from the publisher

Typeset and designed by Simmons Pugh
Printed and bound in the UK by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc

For my family

About the Author

Julia Edelman grew up in New York. She studied film theory and philosophy at McGill University. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, New York magazine, McSweeneys Internet Tendency, VICE, Cosmopolitan, Playboy, CollegeHumor, and the Believer. She lives in Brooklyn.

About the Illustrator

Hallie Bateman is a Los Angeles-based writer and illustrator. Her work can be seen on halliebateman.com

Kant would have been one of the greatest phenomena of mankind in general if he had been able to feel love.

Ernst Cassirer, Kants Life and Thought

Introduction

This is the only book youll ever need. You can use it as a self-defence weapon (the pages are razor-sharp), a way to carry snacks to your room when youve run out of plates, or a face shield for when you see your ex-dentist on the street because you still feel bad, but know moving on was for the best.

If you eventually decide to open this book, however, youll find that there are words and illustrations you might enjoy!

I am a writer and comedian from New York, but began this book when I was living in Montreal. It was the dead of winter, and I continued to write only because my rough drafts fed the fire that allowed me to survive. At the time, I was studying philosophy and while I should have been finishing essays for class, found myself writing about philosophers love lives instead. I liked thinking about Nietzsches best pickup lines, or what Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoirs breakup was likeand then I got the chance to turn these thoughts into a book.

If youre reading this, you are either trying to impress someone in your Marx study group, or want to give your partner a gift that says: Hey, Im into you, and I feel like you also stay awake at night thinking about how small and insignificant we are in this ever-expanding universe. Maybe your heart is broken because your lover ran off to write a manifesto, and you could use some advice for this very relatable situation. If none of the above applies, you might just be afraid of ending up like Kant. Dont worry, we all are.

Falling in Love

Famous Quotes, Explained

History finally starts to make some sense

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Nietzsche (Thus Spoke Zarathustra, 1891)

Nietzsche said this famous line after finally figuring out how to put together a bed frame from IKEA.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Aristotle (Platos Symposium, c. 385370BC)

Aristotle wrote this at a time when he wasnt quite ready to move in with his boyfriend just yet, even though he had been hinting about it for months. They were a single soul, sure, but inhabiting two bodies, and hopefully in two separate apartments.

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.

Voltaire (16941778)

Voltaire mumbled these famous words while getting very drunk at his first Paint Nite.

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. Plato (428347BC)

Plato wrote this while lamenting his lovers recent interest in slam poetry.

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Bertrand Russell (Marriage and Morals, 1929)

Russell realized he was three parts dead when he found himself running away from home. He loved his wife, but didnt want to explain why he forgot to take out the garbage again.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Carl Jung (18751961)

Jung used this line to defend himself after having an affair. He didnt want to sleep with his patient, but he couldnt deny their chemistry, either.

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.

Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged, 1957)

Rand spoke these words when reciting her wedding vows. No one was sure whether they were supposed to clap or not.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love.