James Aaron - Assholes: a theory of Donald Trump

D onald Trump evidently has a thing about his hands. Starting in 1988, Spy magazine had taken to regularly calling him a short-fingered vulgarian. Trump just as regularly tried to answer the charge, but not because he especially minded being called a vulgarian, a rich, anti-intellectual class climber with bad manners. As Graydon Carter, a founder of Spy, explained, its the fingers: To this day, I receive the occasional envelope from Trump. There is always a photo of himgenerally a tear sheet from a magazine. On all of them he has circled his hand in gold Sharpie in a valiant effort to highlight the length of his fingers. Carter notes, I almost feel sorry for the poor fellow because, to me, the fingers still look abnormally stubby.

Why the curious preoccupation? The answer emerged at a milestone (or nadir) of U.S. history, when the 2016 GOP presidential debate sank American politics to a new low for decorum. Florida senator Marco Rubio had taunted Trump for his short fingers. At which Trump held up his hands and replied, as though we needed reassurance: Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he referred to my handsif theyre small, something else must be small. I guarantee you theres no problem, I guarantee.

This poses the question, What sort of asshole draws attention to his penis in polite company, on the pretense of a big worry about its adequacy, while asking us to hand over the nuclear codes, with the keys to our childrens future, and so on, by electing him as U.S. president? More to the point, what sort of asshole could cross these sorts of boundaries over and over, becoming ever more popular, whileas of the time of this writingsailing to his partys nomination? Isnt there some qualified non-asshole out there (e.g., Governor Kasich)? Or if only assholes are in the running, why go for the yuge asshole instead of a lesser asshole or borderline case? What makes this asshole so special?

We are not asking whether Trump is, in fact, an asshole. On this much there seems to be a broad consensus. (Can you think of a better one-word name for him?) Indeed, to many of his supporters, this may be his primary selling point.

The question, instead, is what kind of asshole could pull off such a feat so spectacularly, which is to say, it is a question of assholeology. Among the many species in the asshole ecosystem, what exactly is Trumps type? And should it, or should it not, qualify him for high office?

In an earlier inquiry into Asshole Theory, I offered a definition of what it is for a person to be an asshole, as a stable trait of character:

The asshole is the guy (they are mainly men) who systematically allows himself advantages in social relationships out of an entrenched (and mistaken) sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of other people.

That is, he meets these three conditions:

He allows himself special advantages in social relationships, and does so systematically;

Hes motivated by an entrenched (and mistaken) sense of entitlement;

Hes immunized against the complaints of other people.

This is the guy who cuts in line in the post office without an emergency, or talks too loudly on his cell phone in a crowded elevator, or swerves through three lanes of traffic, parks in two parking spaces, and then berates the coffee shop barista for confusing his order. He might do these kinds of things systematically, across several areas of life. He might take such special advantages because he styles himself as rich, or smarter than average, or sort of famous. Unlike the mere jerk, who might be consistently insensitive but still apologizes (Yeah, sorry I was such a jerk), the proper asshole, the person for whom being an asshole is a stable trait of character, sees no need to apologize or even to listen to the complaints of others. Hes entrenched in a sense of entitlement, in that he walls such complaints out.

The asshole acts out of a firm sense that he is special, that the normal rules of conduct do not apply in his case. He may not deliberately exploit interpersonal relations but simply remain willfully oblivious to normal expectations. Because the asshole sets himself apart from others, he feels comfortable flouting accepted social conventions, almost as a way of life. Most important, he lives this way more or less out in the open. He stands unmoved when people indignantly glare or complain. He is immunized against anyone who speaks up, being quite confident that he has little need to respond to questions about whether the advantages he allows himself are acceptable and fair. Indeed, he will often feel indignant when questions about his conduct are raised. That, from his point of view, shows he is not getting the respect he deserves.