Brien Norris - Affirmations for Assholes: 190 Life Changing Daily Affirmations for People Who Want to be the Best Asshole Possible

Affirmations
for
Assholes 190 Life Changing Daily Affirmations for People Who Want to be the Best Asshole Possible Brien Norris 53
Year
Publishing Copyright 2018 by Brien Norris All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the author. Kindle Edition Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. What the research says about training the subconscious mind Talk to your primitive brain like a foul-mouthed eight-year-old. Vulgarity has emotion already tucked into it and that will help make your request, declaration or question all the more powerful.

Besides, studies show that people who use vulgarity are smarter than the those who don't. When possible, use simpler words that don't require your brain to stop and analyze what the word means. So, don't try to amaze the brain with your sophisticated vocabulary. Instead, speak to it like a typical eight-year-old. Although "I am" affirmations are helpful, affirmations structured as questions are even more powerful. You'll find that the question-oriented affirmations in this book will connect directly to your subconscious.

Get into the habit of asking yourself questions versus just telling your brain what to do. Tie emotion to your statement or question. Say it passionately, with feeling because the subconscious is not logical. It works to protect you. It relates to the world in swaths of emotion. "Pictures" are the subconscious mind's native language. "Pictures" are the subconscious mind's native language.

It translates words into images to store them for quick recall. The subconscious mind uses this library of images to reinforce your most recent coding. So if you can make an item or picture represent an entire sentence, then you can communicate and influence the subconscious more powerfully.
6 Ways to Make Affirmations Work for You Look in the mirror when you say these powerful affirmations. Say them out loud. Repetition leads to acceptance.

Say each affirmation at least four times. Write these affirmations out too. Take this chance to undo the programming your teachers may have subjected you to in grade school! You WILL speak without raising your hand. You WILL use any crayon you want to color the picture. You WILL use any word or phrase you want. Hurt yourself a little when you say each statement or question.

You want your subconscious mind to be present and open to receiving the affirmation immediately. That part of your brain speaks pain. So give yourself a sharp pinch. For instance, consider placing a clothespin or binder clip clipped on your earlobe. Or press the terminals of a 9-volt battery to your tongue after each affirmation leaves your lips. If you want a lasting connection, pluck individual nose hairs from your nostrils with tweezers.

BE CREATIVE! Physically nod your head up and down to affirm the truthfulness of each affirmation. As you internalize each affirmation, visualize an image based on one of the words or based on the action being described. This will help you anchor the words so that when you see the picture, you instantly think of the statement or question you are internalizing. Make icons, doodles or drawings to represent the affirmations that resonate with you and your celebration of becoming an exceptional asshole. Ready?
Let's begin.
Am I the amazing asshole I am destined to be? Who can I yell at today? Seeing people in misery brings me joy.

Insensitive prick has such a beautiful ring to it. Don't you think? Is it possible to be more amazing than I already am? My shit stinks even less than it did yesterday. Life is amazing. Isn't it? Am I doing everything I can to make the peons at my job hate their lives? Am I offending as many people as I should be with my uninformed opinions and observations? Am I the true center of the universe? I allow others to practice worshiping me. I inhale the sweet scent of my perfection. It smells like gardenia.

Whose accomplishments can I take credit for today? How many more parking spots can I occupy at the same time? Making people feel tiny and unworthy in my presence makes me high. Whose texts and phone calls can I choose to ignore completely? Life adores me the most. My world. My rules. That is all. I am always right.

I am free to say what I want, to whoever I want, without consequence. I live to be served. I delight in my power to annoy and confuse. My ability to piss others off without saying a single word grows daily. The world owes me more with each breath that I take. My opinions are all that matter.

I fucking love myself. Can I charge a fee to anyone who looks at me? Since I can do no wrong, I don't need to forgive myself for everything. Life bows at my decadent toes and licks them. I look within and see only tantalizing perfection. Which magical beings will fight for the privilege of catering to my wishes today? I change for no one. Can any mirror really capture my magnificence? My charm is intoxicating.

I get drunk on my reflection. I am the cure for everything. I deserve what I take from others. All doors of opportunity open as I approach. I am the source of beauty and creativity. I am the muse's muse.

Humanity is lost without me. I claim my power and allow others to worship me. I embrace my right to step over others. Am I too considerate these days? I am happy to let others take the blame for everything. My fulfillment grows with every feeling I hurt. This planet is my toilet roll.

Only servants recycle. My capacity to hold grudges and exact revenge grows daily. I remind others of their failures with a smile and twinkle in my eyes. I feed my need for self-preservation at all times. I find ways to lets others drown in their tears whenever possible. I prosper when I make shit up about others.

I spread my lies with conviction. I am the poster child for confidence and success. I slide effortlessly through even the most thoughtful appeals to my sensitivity. I slit kindness's throat and kick compassion's ass. I wear my ego proudly without regret or humility. My way is always the right way.

Am I greater today than I was yesterday? I am the rule maker. I play the game however I choose. I give haters exceptional reasons to hate me. I jump the line often and without hesitation. I am happiest when my actions create chaos and misery. If at first I don't succeed I sue my adversaries.

Am I the topic of conversation at everyone's dinner table tonight? I give people reasons to stare. My magnificence is undeniable. I am the drug of choice. I am the influencer above all others. Only my opinions matter. I smile at my effortless ability to make others wish they were me.

Who can I bless with my presence today? I lace humility's coffee with cyanide. If there is a God, she wants to be me. I am the reason the universe expands. My brain holds the galaxy together. I am the miracle people pray for. I know everything I need to know.

Everything else is bullshit. I welcome the praise and worship from others into my life and joyfully ignore their prayers. Whatever I need can easily be taken from others whenever and wherever I choose. I am loved unconditionally; especially by those who claim they don't. My thoughts of infallibility are without error. Life supports my amazingness in every possible way.

My day begins and ends with the affirmation of my infallibility. I excel at tuning out the sob stories and complaints of others. The conversation is over when I say it is. Only good and quality free stuff can come to me. I am awesome because everybody wants to be me. Everyone I encounter today wants to be my bitch.