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Copyright 2016 by Sarah Kay Cover illustration by Sophia Janowitz Cover copyright 2016 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Illustrations 2016 by Sophia Janowitz All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights. Hachette Books Hachette Book Group 1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104 hachettebookgroup.com First ebook edition: February 2016 Hachette Books is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
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Everyone needs a place. It shouldnt be inside of someone else.Richard Siken If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at, you can let them look at you.
Do not mistake eyes for hands. Or windows.
Or mirrors. Let them see what a woman looks like. They may not have ever seen one before.
If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch,
you can let them touch you.
Sometimes it is not you they are reaching for. A door. A door.
A sandwich. A Pulitzer. Another woman. But their hands found you first.
Do not mistake yourself for a guardian. Or a muse.
Or a promise. Or a victim. Or a snack.
You are a woman. Skin and bones. Veins and nerves.
Hair and sweat. You are not made of metaphors. Not apologies. Not excuses.
If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold, you can let them hold you.
Only some men want to learn what it feels like to wrap themselves into a question mark around you, admit they do not have the answers they thought they would have by now; some men will want to hold you like The Answer.
You are not the problem.
You are not the poem or the punchline or the riddle or the joke.
Woman. Woman.
If you grow up the type men want to love, you can let them love you.
Being loved is not the same thing as loving. When you fall in love, it is discovering the ocean after years of puddle jumping.
It is realizing you have hands.
It is reaching for the tightrope when the crowds have all gone home.
If he leaves you with a car-alarm heart, you may learn to sing along.
If he leaves you with a car-alarm heart, you may learn to sing along.
It is hard to stop loving the ocean. Even after it has left you gasping, salty.
Forgive yourself for the decisions you have made, the ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night.
And know this. Know you are the type of woman who is looking for a place to call yours.
Let the statues crumble.
You have always been the place.
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