Juhasz Victor - Crazy sh*t presidents said: the most surprising, shocking, and stupid statements from George Washington to Donald Trump

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Table of Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Id like to thank the following people for their help in making this book possible: Steve Harris, Robert Fikes Jr., Gary Teubner, Geoffrey Stone, and everyone at Running Press.

INTRODUCTION

Our presidents crazy, the astute political scientist (and Talking Heads frontman) David Byrne once remarked. Did you hear what he said? He was talking about Ronald Reagan, but he could have made the same observation about any of the forty-four occupants of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Presidents say a lot of crazy things. Thats not too surprising, as theyre the most quoted people on the planet. Every presidential utterance is recorded for posterityby the press, historians, memoirists, or, in Richard Nixons case, a secret White House taping system. And in that torrent of official and unofficial remarks, some real head-scratchers slip out. Crazy Sh*t Presidents Said is a treasury of some of the most revealing, most surprising, most appalling observations made by presidents ranging from George Washington through Barack Obama. Some are decidedly on the nose. (Richard Nixon and Lyndon Johnson turn out to be every bit as profane as youd expect them to be.) Others are dizzyingly counterintuitive. (Who knew such icons of the long march toward civil rights as Abraham Lincoln and Harry Truman had such retrograde views of African Americans?) All are well substantiated in the historical record and tell us at least a little about the mind-set and worldview of the speaker, his times, and the wider American culture.

A few housekeeping notes: quotations in this book are organized alphabetically by topic, then chronologically by president, except for the sections Presidents on Other Presidents, Presidents on Other Historical Figures, and Last Words. Hopefully, this facilitates easy browsing and allows you to compare and contrast presidential utterances on the same topic. In the interest of readability I have standardized and modernized spelling, capitalization, and punctuation throughout. However, I have made no attempt to expurgate presidential language; I have left all slurs, ethnic and otherwise, intact as the president issued them. I apologize in advance to anyone offended by the salty language. But hey, you voted for these guys! We have no one to blame but ourselves.

ADVERTISING

Advertising is the life of trade.

CALVIN COOLIDGE

Advertising ministers to the spiritual side of trade. It is great power that has been entrusted to your keeping which charges you with the high responsibility of inspiring and ennobling the commercial world. It is all part of the greater work of the regeneration and redemption of mankind.

CALVIN COOLIDGE

Mass demand has been created almost entirely through the development of advertising.

CALVIN COOLIDGE

To think that an old soldier should come to this.

DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER, on television campaign commercials

ADVICE

Whatever you are, be a good one.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

THEODORE ROOSEVELT

Four-fifths of all our troubles would disappear, if we would only sit down and keep still.

CALVIN COOLIDGE

Dont hesitate to be as reactionary as the multiplication table.

CALVIN COOLIDGE

Remember, you are just an extra in everyone elses play.

FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT

Always be sincere, even if you dont mean it.

HARRY TRUMAN

If you cant convince them, confuse them.

HARRY TRUMAN

Dont join the book burners. Dont think youre going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed. Dont be afraid to go in your library and read every book.

DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER

Never trust a man whose eyes are too close to his nose.

LYNDON B. JOHNSON

There are plenty of recommendations on how to get out of trouble cheaply and fast. Most of them come down to this: Deny your responsibility.

LYNDON B. JOHNSON

You must remember that something that is completely clean can also be completely sterile, without spirit.

RICHARD NIXON

AFRICAN AMERICANS

I advance it therefore as a suspicion only, that the blacks, whether originally a distinct race, or made distinct by time and circumstances, are inferior to the whites in the endowments both of body and mind.

THOMAS JEFFERSON

Comparing them by their faculties of memory, reason, and imagination, it appears to me that in memory [the Negroes] are equal to the whites; in reason much inferior, as I think one could scarcely be found capable of tracing and comprehending the investigations of Euclid; and that in imagination they are dull, tasteless, and anomalous.

THOMAS JEFFERSON

Nothing is more certainly written in the book of fate than that these people are to be free. Nor is it less certain that the two races, equally free, cannot live in the same government.

THOMAS JEFFERSON

[Free blacks are] generally idle and depraved; appearing to retain the bad qualities of the slaves, with whom they continue to associate, without acquiring any of the good ones of the whites, from whom [they] continue separated by prejudices against their color, and other peculiarities.

JAMES MADISON

(God) works most inscrutably to the understandings of men; the negro is torn from Africa, a barbarian, ignorant and idolatrous; he is restored civilized, enlightened, and a Christian.

JOHN TYLER

I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the black and white races... I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

I have urged the colonization of the Negroes [in Africa], and I shall continue.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

I can conceive of no greater calamity than the assimilation of the Negro into our social and political life as our equal.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Within twenty years we can peacefully colonize the Negro... under conditions in which he can rise to the full measure of manhood. This he can never do here. We can never attain the ideal union our fathers dreamed, with millions of an alien, inferior race among us, whose assimilation is neither possible nor desirable.

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