in memory of my mother, Indu P. Bhatt,
and for my father, Pravin N. Bhatt,
with love and admiration and for Michael, Jenny Mira Swantje
and Nachiketa, as always
Thanks are due to the editors of the following journals and anthologies where some of these poems, sometimes in different versions, first appeared:
Booklight (Knucker Press, 2009),
Cyphers, DAS GEDICHT, the
Guardian, The HarperCollins Book of Modern English Poetry by Indians (HarperCollins, India, 2012),
Jubilee Lines: 60 Poets for 60 Years (Faber and Faber, 2012),
Levure Littraire: Magazine international dinformation et dducation culturelle, Modern Poetry in Translation, New Walk, Ploughshares, PEN International, Poetry International, Poetry Ireland Review, PN Review, The Prague Revue, Restless Minds, SEMICERCIO: rivista di poesia comparata, The Shetland Review, Tongue: A Journal of Writing & Art, Tupelo Quarterly and
Wasafiri. I am immensely grateful to Michael Schmidt, Helen Tookey and Eleanor Wilner for their careful reading of the manuscript and their invaluable advice and comments. Special thanks to Nachiketa Bhatt, Urmi and Dinker Bhatt, Paul-Henri Campbell, John F. Deane, Chris Gribble, Robyn Marsack and Jennifer Williams for reading individual poems and for their support and encouragement.
Thanks also to Paul-Henri Campbell for translating A Chinese Cook into German, and to Andrea Sirotti and his MA class at the University of Pisa for translations into Italian. A big thank you to Hans Wap for creating the cover image exclusively for this book and for providing additional artwork for the section pages.
Contents
The fourth candle has been lit. How can you be in exile when you live with the one you love? Our Chinese Schiller stands by the window. Outside, three crows ignore a snowman. The fourth candle has been lit.
These flames make us linger, these flames slip into our words Today, its Hndel on the radio and the northern sun is still strong.
Truth is mute, she says, but you need words to find it. A bulls head in water, a mermaids split tail centuries in silt, and the words that came down to us: a blue spell of longing, now translucent on paper. Is
filigrane the sound you want or is it
watermark? How many dictionaries do you need for the words you seek? Remember, she says, instinct is wordless even as it lives within words. Remember, she says, love will be silent with love. Mother tongue, father tongue when the child started to speak she used all her words at once, at once in a rush:
pani, water, Wasser. When the child started to speak she meant
fish and
Fisch.
How many languages must you learn before you can understand your own? When she lived on a mountain among people whose language she did not know, her own language turned into a festival of fruits, and a festival of birds. When she lived on a mountain oxygen-deprived, near ice-covered rocks, she only dreamt of the sea night after night algae and seaweed. Will oxygen determine the meaning of your words? Remember, she says, love will be silent with salt. Remember, she says, truth is mute, and love will be silent.
Four a.m. and brightness already Today, the sun begins as a white rose, a white rose tinged with silver and blue.
Still hours before Ill see any pink or yellow Windows open all night My dreams want me to believe they are true This morning smells of a newborn infants skin in those moments just before the newborn mouth opens This morning smells of wet grass, full moon drenched grass A restless sweetness, pungent a sweetness, dense and thickening with snails and worms Each blade tense with what? Extravagant, this full moon Extravagant, this morning at four a.m., fragrant with wildflowers about to open about to open, wildflowers you might have forgotten Out of that silence, a young bird calls with my daughters voice, with her first sounds The bird mimics her first syllables, her almost words she used to sing whenever she awakened from her deepest sleep her deepest infant sleep A young bird calls with my daughters voice and what does that mean? Harbinger of love? There is only that one bird calling, calling and then it too falls silent as if hushed to quietness or sleep I lie awake with my daughters voice, while she sleeps her teenage sleep full of what dreams now
for Pearse HutchinsonNight words turn into morning words. Here are the words Ive gathered words I sit with late into the night, words I wake up to these days early, so early in the morning See how they slide into their own song, refusing to fit inside your usual aubade * Ackermohn, Blatzblume, Blutblume, Boschtkraut,Donnerblume, Feldmohn, Feuerblume, Feuermohn,Flattermohn, Gartenmohn, Grindmagen,Klappermohn, Klapprose, Klatschmohn, Klatschrose,Groe Klatschrose, Kornrose,Kornschnalle, Mohn,Mohnblume, Paterblume,Roter Mohn, Roter Mohn, Schnalle,Wilder Mohn, Wolder Mohn, Wilder Mohn,Klatschmohn, Klatschmohn, Feuerblume * Sometimes I think I prefer to live between languages, within silences only I can hear These days, I cannot stay indoors. Soon, those fields across the water will burn with bees bees lured by a redness even Husserl couldnt have fathomed. A redness only bees understand.
Den Mohn hab ich wieder gesprt, tief, ganz tief Ingeborg Bachmann in a letter to Paul Celan
The doctor says, morphine will give you the richest dreams Morphine will play with your memories, it will turn your life upside down, make your past more painful than it ever was The doctor says, dont go down that path. But its too late now.
There was a pill for infants with a little bit of opium just a little bit, that he was given for his sleep, for his digestion all those years ago. The doctor says its too late now. Morphine is what he needs, and yet, it cannot help him any more. He was a man in a song, a man from anywhere He is a man I know Perhaps your memories crave morphine. Your mind, your brain cells miss opiums deep purple shadows. Perhaps morphine needs your brain cells to fulfil its destiny.
Those secret loves of molecules who knows what happens? * Look at the ravaged fields blood-soaked Can you truly say these red poppies heal? These common, red, wild poppies? Heal what this earth, your heart? Again, how the red poppies remind you of the others, the white and the purple the ones filled with opium You feel these red poppies with their black souls in the wind bring echoes of opium from somewhere, from somewhere, you say * Mohn, Mohnblauer Schlafmohn Memories of black seeds fine sand in your mouth Memories of black seeds with butter and sugar and flour * wir lieben einander wie Mohn und Gedchtnis In the story, this story Im reading today, the lovers I worship live with poppies, red poppies, harmless ones Now they speak dark words to each other Words they will write down for us to read. It is the lovers who call their words dark Not me I merely try to listen I merely try to follow their story. Obscure words, they speak. Simply dark, dark They speak as if they have seen the Mysteries. It is darkness itself that they speak How it slides like silk across their limbs Darkness itself I see them half-asleep, half-awake Who said what? They speak softly Not menacing words, not grave words. Not ghostly, not haunted words, but purely dark, as in a dark colour.
Why? Why? I ask myself. Is it because they think there will never be enough light for them? But the words shout back that they
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