McNeal - Are You Sh*tting Me?: 1,004 Facts That Will Scare the Crap Out of You

A PERIGEE BOOK

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ARE YOU SH*TTING ME?

Copyright 2014 by Cary McNeal

A Hollan Publishing Inc. Concept

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ISBN: 978-0-698-14841-3

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First edition: October 2014

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INTRODUCTION

WELCOME TO MY BOOK. I hope you enjoy it.

Whats to enjoy about being frightened, you ask? Thats a good question. I suppose its like watching a horror movie: you know its going to freak you out, but you buy the ticketor, in this case, the bookanyway. Maybe you like the thrill of fear. Maybe youre a glutton for punishment. Or maybe someone gave the book to you as a gift. They might think you dont have enough fiber in your diet.

What about me? Do I write these books because Im a sadist? Nah. When it comes to scary business, I believe that forewarned is forearmed. Think of me as someone whos trying to help you by educating you. Because Im a nice guy like that.

If you want to learn more about any topic herein, check out the source list at the back of the book for links to more information. If youve read the other two books in this series, 1,000 Facts That Will Scare the Sh*t Out of You and Scared Sh*tless, welcome back and thanks for your support.

For the rest of you: Be afraid.

CM

WHATS SCARY ABOUT FLORIDA, you ask? Besides the fact that it looks like a giant wiener? I could cite any number of things: Casey Anthony, George Zimmerman, hanging chads, alligators, Key West, Lynyrd Skynyrd. Instead, I will ask you, which state do you think of whenever you hear a news story about someone eating someone elses face off or a guy shooting up a Burger King with a bazooka because they didnt hold the pickles on his Whopper Jr.? Right: Florida. And if you dont think of Florida first, youre not paying attention.

FACT 1 A motherdaughter duo in Tampa are partners in pornography. Jessica and Monica Sexxxton post home movies on their own site and will have sex with the same person at the same time, though they claim they never touch each other on camera. Whew! For a minute there I was creeped out.

FACT 2 In 2012, fifty-year-old cougar Jennie Scott of Manatee County was arrested for beating the crap out of her thirty-two-year-old boyfriend after he climaxed first during a 69 love-session and refused to continue pleasuring her.

FACT 3 A Jacksonville man, Allen Casey, was arrested in 2012 for hitting his boyfriend in the face with a plate for playing too much Alanis Morissette music. Casey defended himself to police, saying, Thats all that motherfucker listens to.

FACT 4 In July 2013, Josue Rodriguez of Lake Worth attacked his roommate with a machete after the roommate changed the radio station while Rodriguez was in the shower. Who keeps a machete in the shower?

FACT 5 Three San Mateo men were arrested in 2013 for stealing a nine-foot-tall, six-hundred-pound purple aluminum chicken from a roadside stand.

FACT 6 A Lake County man was arrested in June 2013 for leaving nude photos of his former roommate on the cars of the roommates co-workers and grandmother after the roommate moved out. The victim had allowed the photos to be taken in return for room and board.

FACT 7 Kingsley Lake, or Silver Dollar Lake, is almost a perfect circle, spanning nearly two thousand acres with a surprising depth of ninety feet. The reason for the popular lakes unique shape and depth? It is one of Floridas many sinkholes.

FACT 8 In August 2013, 150 law enforcement officers in full riot gear were called to Avon Park Youth Academy, an all-male juvenile correctional facility, when rioting inmates set fire to parts of the building and caused hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of damage. The riot broke out after the losers of a basketball game refused to make good on their original wager: three containers of Cup Noodles.