Seth - The Gift of Conversation

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Copyright Suhel Seth 2011

The moral right of the author has been asserted

This digital edition published in 2017.

e-ISBN: 978-9-386-81505-7

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publishers prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

RULE 1

The Impact Rule

(have an opinion)

WHAT THIS RULE
WILL TEACH YOU

How to impress important
people

What to have an opinion
onand what not to

How to ensure that your
opinions dont make
you enemies

Rule 2 follows on from Rule 1. You read widely, you have varied interests but do you have an opinion? Are you brave (or perhaps foolish) enough to voice it? Its not about being right or wrong. Its about taking a stand. You need to have an opinion on certain matters even if it means ruffling a few feathers, and they need to go beyond your professional domain. The key to social success is to have an opinion.

I dont get invited to parties because of my looks or my wealth. I get invited (or so I believe) because people want to hear what I have to say or at least because they know I will not shy away from speaking my mind. Will the next-gen Indian prefer football to cricket? Is Shah Rukh Khan going to beat Aamir Khan at the box office this year? Should the Indian media go online? Ought Nitish Kumar project himself as prime minister in the next general elections?

It is not important what your opinion is. What is important is that you do not come across as someone who has nothing to say and is happy either being silent or a fence sitter. Many a time when I am speaking abroad, I am tempted to deflect the attention from unpleasant issues. For instance, the last time I was addressing the Harvard Club in New York, someone from the audience asked me about corruption in India. I could have easily deflected or dodged that question. But then I took it head-on and said there is as much corruption in India as there is in the United States and historically, corruption emerges from unbridled capitalism. There was much applause and I felt I had done the right thing by being honest and upfront.

On my part, I love going to homes and places where I know there will be intelligent discussion and opinions will be laid bare. I may not agree with them but I know it will not be a room of airheads with the only noise coming from clinking wineglasses. Nor would I notice someone unless they have something interesting to say. In times such as the ones we live in, hurried as they are, people expect to meet to either learn something or be entertained intellectually. This is why it is critical to blend knowledge with articulation. No one cares how bright you are unless you make an impression with your intelligence.

If youre a smart, ambitious young man or woman reading this book in the hope of getting some tips to get to the top, then keep this in mind: the one sure way to get someones attention is to have a strong stand on issues. As a young man in Kolkata, I made many friends amongst people who were at least thrice (if not four times) my age, only because I could strike up a conversation and keep them entertained. One of these was the great Russi Mody, then the chairman of Tata Steel. I was a mere accounts executive with Ogilvy & Mather and he was known as the Emperor of Tata Steel.

They dont make them like Russi Mody any more. The man was a bon vivant. He would fly to Mumbai just to have dinner, at the drop of a hat; always spent summers in the south of France; loved his champagnes and cigars, and was a regular at the Ascot races in England. I adored the man and he liked my outspokenness. And so, despite our differences in age and status, I was lucky enough to spend a great deal of time with him when I was a young man. I am proud to say that our friendship today is over twenty years long.

I remember one evening in particular. It was a Sunday, the evenings I normally spent with my parents. I was home when I got a call from Russi saying he wanted me to come over and had prepared my favourite egg sandwiches. So I got into the car and reached the Tata Centre. Barely had I arrived when his majordomo, Roy, told me we were all going to the airport. I was aghast. I hadnt told my mother I would not be dining with them nor was I wearing particularly decent clothes, but off we went to Mumbai where Russi had invited the head honchos from the Tata Group, such as the well-known lawyer, Nani Palkhivala and Darbari Seth, a key JRD aide, at his Altamount Road home. We had dinner and then flew back to Kolkata at 3.30 am.

The next morning I arrived at the Tata Centre where, as luck would have it, I was making a presentation to Russi, my companion from the previous evening. During my presentation, I happened to yawn. Russi looked me in the eye and asked if Id had a late night. He was no longer my friend in the room. He was my client. I simply apologized and continued. Later that day, my MD, Mani Ayer of Ogilvy, caught me yawning too. I could have told him that I had gone out with Russi the night before and my MD would have been only too happy. But I did not. Russi respected the fact that I was not taking advantage of our friendship and had maintained a professional distance, as I should, which helped our relationship even more.

Now there are some sub-rules to this and Ill get to them in a bit. But lets stay here for the moment. You might think from what I have said that the more outlandish your views, the more attention they will attract. Wrong. An opinion is not provocation. They sometimes seem alike but they couldnt be more different. Take for instance my well-known views about Narendra Modi. I have often written against him for the atrocities that happened in Godhra but I was also the first so-called liberal to praise the enormous good hes done to Gujarat as an administrator. I have been pilloried for both but I have never changed my stance. Nor am I about to in the future, unless Modi does an about-turn. Your opinions about things should be deep rooted; they should be things that have arisen out of your convictions. And you must not simply see them as a useful tool for social advancement.