Stella - Home Run King

Gage

I didnt want to lift my face from the security of my folded armsI never outgrew the whole if I cant see you, then you cant see me theory. Although, I wasnt sure how much longer I could keep my best friend from finding me. The wooden kitchen table I had my body bent over wasnt finished, meaning Id have to pick splinters out of my forearms once I finally decided to come out of hiding. And if that wasnt bad enough, I had my face buried so tightly in the crook of my elbow that the heat from my breaths was searing my cheeks because it had nowhere else to go. But Coby wasnt here to chitchat over a few beers. He was here to lecture me like the father he wasfirst-degree burns were minor compared to the hell Coby was about to unleash .

If you think this is bothering me, youre wrong, Gage. This actually works out better. Because now I can talk, and you can listen, and I dont have to worry about you arguing or trying to change the subject by bringing up my wifes tits. Coby talked about a lot of things, most I didnt care to listen tobut when he mentioned titsmore specifically, Ellies titsnow that got my attention .

I lifted my head and took a moment to enjoy the cool air against my fiery face. Then, as if Coby held out a gold-wrapped gift box full of his wifes panties, a grin slowly split my lips. Without a mirror, I knew precisely which kind of smile it waslopsided, making only one cheek ache and one eye slightly more squinty. It was my get out of jail free smile. I had lots of get out of jail free expressions, but this was the only one that would work on Coby, even though he constantly told me it made me look goofy and somewhat constipated. No one could resist the Gage Nix charm .

Coby! My voice rose with such realistic surprise I almost fooled myself. Whend you get here? Man, I gotta tell ya, this is such a shocker. I wasnt expecting you at all. Im utterly flatulent at finding you herein my house, seated directly in front of meat my kitchen table .

I know. That was exactly what you told me two minutes ago when I got hereright before you put your head down like a kid in timeout. And the word youre looking for is flabbergasted. Not flatulent. He sighed dramatically and then leaned forward with his elbows on the wood in a show of getting down to business. You cant hide from this, Gage .

Watch out, youll get splinters. I pointed to the grainy wood .

Do you take anything seriously? And so, the lecture begins .

I take everything seriously. Do you even know me? My nickname in college was Sober Sam .

Gage He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. You never went to college, and no one, ever, has called you that. Drunk Dan maybe. But come on, you cant joke your way through this, man. You knocked up Missys cousin .

I did not knock up Missys cousin, I argued. Then thought about what I just said. Okay, fine. Maybe I did. But whats your point? Missy broke up with me six months ago. Does she seriously expect me to never sleep with anyone else ever again ?

Nobut you couldve at least not slept with anyone in her family. Thatd be a good start .

I stared at Coby, someone who had truly become my best friend over the last five yearsas in, the very best kind of friend anyone could ever ask for. Hed been there for me when I blew out my knee three years ago and couldnt play ball for an entire season, when my grandmother passed away earlier this year, and again six months ago when the woman I thought I would marry and have a family with left me. There was no way I couldve gotten through the last few years without the support of Coby and his wife, Ellie .

However, there were things they didnt know .

It wasnt like I planned to sleep with her. Youre the only one I know who schedules wicky-wicky on your calendar. Which is totally finewhat you do is your business. But itd be great if you didnt use the calendar on your fridge to schedule it. I mean, anyone who eats at your house knows when your play time is .

At least a sliver of a grin shadowed the corners of his mouth. How many times do I have to explain this to you? Those are my workout routines. Back, legs, arms, chesthow does that have anything to do with sex ?

From behind, legs around your neck, arms tied to the bed, and chest could be several thingsgood ol chest-to-chest lovemaking, maybe a little motorboating. And dont tell me you arent familiar with the classic titty fu

Im not discussing my sex life with you .

Oh, so now that you actually have one, youre too good to talk about it ?

No. Because I know you, and if I give you the smallest detail, your imagination will completely take off with it until you have us in some crazy position doing things that would make porn stars blush. So no, Im not going there with you. Although, I have to admit, Im rather impressed with your ability to turn any word into something the Kama Sutra would be proud of .

Why thank you, kind sir. I bowed slightly from my chair, which only made him roll his eyes. Ungrateful nerd. No need to be jealous. Its not a skill that can be easily taught .

Can we get back on track, please ?

I knew what he was referring to, but I wasnt in the mood to play along. So instead, I decided to steer us back to his past. Sure, no problem. You having an issue getting past third base again? Cant quite seem to make it to home plate with Ellie? If you think itll help, Im more than willing to sit in and coach you through it .

He blinked at me. Not the fluttering of lashes I was used to from the ladies, but more like his vision was acting up again and he couldnt see me very well. Then his brow creased. Not quite like a womans when she comesyeah, I knew that sight like the back of my handbut kind of like he was confused .

Youre thinking about it, arent ya? I wagged my eyebrows, and the ache in my left cheek from my grin grew worse .

No. Im thinking about how in the hell youre going to be a father .

Quite simple reallywhen a man and a woman

Gage! Coby slapped the table, and the sound echoed through the bare kitchen. Not how it happened, but how you plan to actually be a parent. Its bad enough I had to hear about it from Ellie, who found out from Missywho, by the way, was not happy about the news .

I dont know why she cares. She already moved on. That still stung .

Less than three months after she dumped me, she was already out dating someone else. This was a woman I had been with for three and a half years. The only woman I had ever been in a long-term relationship with. Hell, we were living together when she woke up one morning and said she no longer wanted to be with me. Last I heard, she was shacking up with the principal .

Hes not the principal. Hes the substitute English teacher. Coby should know. He was the boys PE teacher at St. Michaels Catholic High School, where Missy was his counterpart coaching the girls .