William Evans - Black Nerd Problems

William Evans & Omar Holmon

Black Nerd Problems

Essays

Gallery Books

An Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

Copyright 2021 by William Henry Evans III and Omar-Abraham Holmon

Interior art by ONeillJones

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books hardcover edition September 2021

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Interior design by Michelle Marchese

Jacket design by Emma A. Van Deun

Jacket illustrations by Getty Images

Author photographs by Erica Hardesy Photography (William Evans); Natasha Singh-Holmon (Omar Holmon)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.

ISBN 978-1-9821-5023-5

ISBN 978-1-9821-5025-9 (ebook)

To Maes Hughes, TChaka, Neji, Ted Kord, Jean Grey fifty-leven times, Mufasa, Poussey Washington, Sasha Blouse, them ninjas Madara took out with the paper bomb, and all the heroes who couldnt make it to see the release of this book. None of this is possible without your sacrifice.

WILLIAM: Listen, when Omar and I met on the mean streets of Madison, Wisconsin, doing the grimy shit called poetry slams back in 2008, we didnt know we would end up writing a book together. Man, I didnt even like this muthafuckas stage name. True anime rivalry/friendship shit, man. We slammed against each other, we watched each other get bullshit scores or win crowns. And then we started talkin nerd shit. All the nerd shit.

OMAR: Through nerd shit all connections are possible. In 2013 we brought you Black Nerd Problems, the website. Eight years of memes, live tweets, Game of Thrones recaps, and the hard pop culture ESPN-level analysis that cyber streets needed. It all led to this Black-ass nerdy-ass book. Originally, we told Simon & Schuster we wanted this shit published on papyrus. We doing this for the old-school printing press. Yall want that Old English back? Yall want that Shakespeare back? Well, thats too damn bad cause this right here written in Wakandan (well do a loose translation for those unfamiliar).

WILLIAM: Nah, we writing this shit like a manga, the rest of this shit you gotta read right to left, fam. [Im joking, dont do shit. Omar and I cant speak nothing but English and Black-ass English. Ive been watching subbed anime for years and I couldnt speak a sentence of Japanese with a Naruto Rasengan to my head.]

Seriously though, what Black Nerd Problems has taught me is how wide-ranging our nerddom can be. I didnt start reading comics till 2006. I didnt start watching anime on the regular until I edited someone elses Black Nerd Problems piece. Omar been talkin about Hajime no Ippo like its his Quran or some shit, and I love him, but I STILL aint seen a second of that joint. But I will defend that shit to my dying breath. You: Man, sports anime is okay. Me: Thats cuz you aint hip to Hajime, bruh! And thats the point of this book, yo. You may not catch every reference, every jutsu, every filler arc, but we trying to make sure you know we felt that shit.

OMAR: And isnt that the heart of being a nerd? *Naruto flutes chime in* That feeling of excitement and passion for a show, book, or character that you fucks with and then wanting to share that among friends or even strangers, hoping they feel the same thing you do? *Morpheus from The Matrix voice* Isnt that worth nerding out over? Isnt that worth fighting for, for Black nerds and nerds of color to come together and share that joy? We thought so.

OMAR HOLMON, aka Noah Websters Ghostwriter

BEFORE WE CAN get into this real rap raw nerd essays and content, its important to understand what we as authors mean when we refer to the term nerd. How we define the word may be different than how the reader defines it. So allow me to get my TED Talk monologue on to break the definition of the word nerd down by how it has come to be defined in dictionaries. *takes off my regular square-framed glasses and puts on my public-speaking PowerPoint presentation tortoiseshell-framed glasses*

The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a nerd as an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially: one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits.

Dictionary.com defines a nerd as 1. a person considered to be socially awkward, boring, unstylish, etc.; 2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd.

As words evolve, they go through semantic change or, more fittingly, semantic progression. Semantic progression occurs when the modern meaning of a word is entirely different from its original meaning. Watch the breakdown: dope, as a noun, used to just refer to a stupid person (1850s); later on in time it became a reference to drugs (18801900s), but as an adjective it can refer to something as good or great (1980s). You can think of countless other words that youve seen evolve via idioms and slang, which varies across cultures and ethnicities. One word that hasnt officially (as of me writing this in 2020) evolved in the dictionary is the term nerd.

Now, you may be reading this and thinking, Wheres this goin? Who gives a fuck? Why did he switch glasses when he was already wearing glasses? Well, if youre reading this book (that clearly says Black Nerd Problems on it) or just glimpsing through it, *Jeff Foxworthy voice* youuuuu might be a redneck nerd. Regardless, hear me out and watch how I flip this shit.

The only saving grace between both online dictionaries descriptions is their second definitions for the term: one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits and an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby. Growing up in the 2000s from my teen to college years, I came to understand the term and had the term broken down to me as a person that knows a little bit about a lot of things, whereas a geek knows a lot about one specific thing. For me, and I want to say for a lot us that identify as nerds, this is a commonplace interpretation of the word, but as far as I know, I havent ever seen that reflected on paper regarding the word in an official definition.

I stated all that to say this: its been a long time since the term nerd came in the context of a jock vs. an academic, or the popular high school quarterback pushing a scrawny kid into a locker, or the mean girls knocking books out of someones hands. Now in 2020, it aint really the Revenge of the Nerds movie setting for the context of the wordIm hard-pressed to say if it ever was and thank god cause even in that movie about underdog nerds trying to get their revenge, its full of misogyny and racial stereotypes. Speaking of stereotypes, media representation gotta be factored in the description for a nerd as well, right? A nerd is usually a male (which is usually sexist), typically white (which is typically racist), scrawny or fat (but in the derogatory fatphobic way), thats (lest we forget) into some obscure hobby/thing no one else cares about. [Sidebar: If youre reading this and wanting to say Steve Urkel from