Robb Pearlman - Nerd Haiku

Batwoman wont work

Fridays after sundown or

on Rosh Hashanah.

Hes responsible for more square miles than them all. Hes responsible for more square miles than them all.

Dont dis Aquaman. The Royal Flush Gang doesnt know what happens theres supposed to stay there. Widow, Cat, Panther Bolt, Lightning, or Canary, Black is beautiful. Its a well-known fact: Cyclops is kind of a douche. Jean Grey has bad taste. Smith. Smith.

What thread is

this Hugo Weaving?

Does everything stretch? Cause you could make mad money, Mr. Fantastic. Reed Richards, meet Eel OBrian and Ralph Dibny. Oh, its on, bitches. If I had a type, Id say simple and carefree: Comic Sans Serif. Nobody believes me.

Thats what happens when you date Sue Storm Richards. Saved the universe, but Im totally bummed out. Girlfriends in the fridge. My asthma kicks in and I throw up in my mouth. Girl in comic store. Ororo Munroe and Mari Jiwe McCabe, my African queens. Ororo Munroe and Mari Jiwe McCabe, my African queens.

Every day it goes where no man has gone before, Uhuras earpiece.

At four, I lost my

heart to an older woman:

Wilma Flintstone, MILF.

Someday we will find the right vehicle for you, Eliza Dushku. From my perspective, panties have firewalls that are password protected.

She stopped before she touched me down there. Again, life has blocked my pop-up.

When we get girlfriends, many things will change for us. Yeah, wishful thinking.
Virgin. Gamer. I try to vary things, but still my right arms bigger.
So much changed after you got laid, but Im the same.

Crisis on my Earth.
Eartha, Halle, Anne, Lee, Julie, MichelleI get a lot of pussy.
7 of 9 + BSGs 6 = fun. (I majored in math.) From Ms. Pac Man to Ms. Lara Croft, Title IX funding FTW!
Youre such a nice girl.

Please dont disappear on me like Kitty Pryde did. A pat excuse not to date me, but guess what: I am Y, the Last Man!
Took thirty years, but I have a new girlfriend. Thanks, MMRPG! I like pillow talk, like Glasses are sexy, and Go get em, Tiger.
I see Valeris. Girlfriend sees Samantha Jones. Sex and the City.

The buns are OK, but I really want you to dress like Slave Leia. I love you so much that your engagement ring will be The Dark Crystal. You made me a man, then mixed up Wars and Trek. Im breaking up with you. Like Lana and Gwen, you were ahead of the curve. First girlfriend syndrome.

I will wear a tux and a custom fez when I marry Amy Pond. Regenerated Abbot and Costello are Doctor Who s on first.

Lightsaber chopsticks

turn ordinary pad thai

into Padm Thai.

Id go back in time to be surprised again. No, I am your father. Im such a badass: Bantha skull shoulder tattoo.

Please dont tell my dad!
Dad wont admit it, but lets face it, my brother: Im Thor; youre Loki.
Dad didnt get it. He wanted me to play ball. Now I own the team! Computers are good for more than just watching porn. Do you hear me, Dad? Eyes squint in daylight. Mom still does my laundry.

I live in her basement. Mom wants me outside, but then how will I know when people read my blog?

In brightest day, in

blackest night, no ev MOM! WHAT?

Im doing something!

Thought Id be rich now, but my plan was thwarted when Mom sold my comics. Sad when Granny passed, but was beside myself when Mrs. Summers died.