Where
We Go
When
All We
Were Is
Gone
Sequoia
Nagamatsu
Praise for Where We Go When All We Were Is Gone
If, as I did, you grew up on the likes of Ultraman , Zatoichi , and Godzilla , youll feel right at home with, but also challenged by, the stories in Where We Go When All We Were is Gone . Its an exhilarating debut that serves up every guilty-pleasure pop-culture satisfaction one could hope for while simultaneously reframing and refashioning those familiar low-art joys into something singular, unanticipated, and entirely original.
Pinckney Benedict, author of Town Smokes and Miracle Boy
Ghosts, Godzilla, shape shifters, sea creatures, snow babies; Sequoia Nagamatsus fantastical characters are nonetheless grounded in modern-day conflicts, creating a fascinating and haunting mix of science and myth, past and present. These are stories of gods and monsters walking among us, told with wit, longing, and wisdom.
Timothy Schaffert, author of The Swan Gondola , an Oprah.com Book of the Week
A combination of the mystical, magical, and marvelous, Sequoia Nagamatsu weaves a collection of bold, hysterical, and moving tales into an unforgettable debut. From shape-shifters, to star-makers, to babies made of snow, the characters in Where We Go When All We Were Is Gone form a community of longing, of the surreal, of wonder. What a joy it is to read each and every story.
Michael Czyzniejewski, author of I Will Love You for the Rest of My Life: Breakup Stories
"These stories deftly breathe new life into the myths and pop culture of an older Japan, bringing them into the modern world and directing them in unexpected ways. It's hard to tell if Nagamatsu holds nothing sacred, or if he holds everything to be. In either case, the effect is the same: these are deft atmospheric romps that a hell of a lot of fun but also worm their way under your skin before you know it. An addictive and compelling debut.
Brian Evenson, author of Lords of Salem (as BK Evenson w/ Rob Zombie) and A Collapse of Horses
Strange, subtle, emotionally resonantNagamatsus fiction is consistently excellent.
Kij Johnson, Hugo, Nebula, and World Fantasy Award Winning author of The Fox Woman , Fudoki , and At the Mouth of the River of Bees
The stories in Where We Go When All We Are is Gone make up a rich tangle of the familiar and beautifully new. These are bright inventions but they will also satisfy our longing for the stories we have always loved.
Ramona Ausubel, author of No One is Here Except All of Us and A Guide to Being Born
Sequoia Nagamatsus universe is one in which modern Japan and its ancient folklore play in the same delightful puddle. Creepy, unnerving, and full of heart, these tales of love and demons, death and Godzilla, loss and possibility, will creep into your dreams and enchant your imagination.
Kelly Luce, author of Three Scenarios in Which Hana Sasaki Grows a Tail
In the perfectly stirring stories of Where We Go When All We Were Is Gone , Sequoia Nagamatsu constructs a cartography of eye-stinging wonder with his fleet of wobbly wabi-sabi GPS syntax-spinning satellites. These fictions plot asymmetrically the raw terrain of the wasabi slathered human heart, leaving us lost in all our findings, the stunned state of boketto, empty yet teeming with that taste of awful awe.
Michael Martone, author of Michael Martone and Winesburg, Indiana
This is a dream I dreamed...
Natsume Soseki
I could wish for nothing more than to die for a childish dream in which I truly believed.
Rynosuke Akutagawa
What isnt remembered never happened. Memory is merely a record. You just need to re-write that record.
Serial Experiments: Lain
Black Lawrence Press
Executive Editor: Diane Goettel
Cover and book design: Amy Freels
Cover image: Solitary Flight by Eric Fan, graphite and digital painting
Copyright Sequoia Nagamatsu 2016
ISBN (e-book): 978-1-62557-116-8
All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the pblisher: editors@blacklawrencepress.com
Published 2016 by Black Lawrence Press.
The following stories originally appeared in the publications listed:
The Return to Monsterland in Conjunctions, Placentophagy in Tin House online , Rokurokubi in Zyzzyva , Girl Zero in Bat City Review , The Peach Boy in The Fairy Tale Review , The Inn of the Deads Orientation for Being a Japanese Ghost in Puerto Del Sol , The Rest of the Way in Copper Nickel , The Passage of Time in the Abyss in Gargoyle , Snow Baby in Monkeybicycle , Where We Go When All We Were Is Gone in Green Mountains Review , Headwater LLC in Lightspeed Magazine , Kentas Posthumous Chrysanthemum in The New Delta Review .
For Cole
The Return to Monsterland
Train Car, 1998
Mayu called me from the train car that Godzilla had grabbed hold ofno screaming or sobbing, no confessions of great regrets, no final professions of love. She did not ask to speak to our five-year-old daughter, who was unknowingly watching the news coverage of her mothers impending death, as the train crashed into the side of a skyscraper and through a set of power lines. My wife spoke of feeling the radiation of his body coursing through her own, the view down his cretaceous mouth, an atomic breath swirling in a maelstrom of blue light. And then, before there was nothing but a roar and static, she said: You should be here; hes simply magnificent.
Godzilla (irradiated Godzillasaurus)
{Descp. Resembles Tyrannosaur with pronounced arms. Dorsal plates similar to Stegosaur. Semi-sapient. Powers: Atomic breath, nuclear pulse, imperviousness to conventional weaponry (and meteor impacts), regeneration, amphibiousness, telepathy with other Kaiju. Weaknesses: High voltage, Oxygen Destroyer WMD, Anti-Nuclear Energy Bacteria, Cadmium Missiles, MechaGodzilla}
Field Notes: lumber-waddle. posturing roar. rhythmic stomp with son. perhaps a game? picks up palm tree and throws. swats sea gull. Defecates two-meters highradiation: 15 krad. moves arms up and down. calisthenics or victory dance. long roar. shuffles across beach. throws log into water. throws rock into water.
Two weeks living among their kind on the island reserve weve created for them, and I still cant wrap my head around the love my wife felt for these creatures. During the atomic age, when nations illuminated the atolls dotting the Pacific, we gave birth to many of the Kaiju. Annihilation begetting annihilation when the living ghosts of Hiroshima still roamed the streets. The Ministry of Defense contacted me partly out of kindness, I suspect. The widower of the famous monster biologist, the silent partner who stayed in the lab. I knew the creatures almost as well as Mayu didthe half-life of their blood, the frequency of their telepathic thoughts, the variations of their origins and resurrections. I could, without a doubt, answer Japans questions of new monsters being born in the wake of Fukushima, of old monsters shaken out of armistice. And so I said yes because I hated their kind, because my daughter, now a college student, still reads the letters her mother left her, because I need to experience the beauty my wife saw before she died.
Dear Ayu,
I had to watch the video of your first steps from the bottom of the ocean. I wish I could have been there. But I guess all of our practice trying to walk paid off! Do you remember how we watched old news broadcasts of the epic Kaiju battles of the 60s? Id pick you up by the arms, your feet resting on mine, and wed take one giant step after another, waddling across the living room. Whenever I let you go, there would be a moment where we both thought that you could make that first step on your own. But you flapped your arms like Rodan or Mothra, trying to maintain your balance before crashing to the ground. Your father tells me youre moving non-stop now with your new found freedom, that you circle the house until youre so tired that you need a nap. I wish you were here with me. I hope these letters will help you understand why I was away so much. Its just me, a steel sphere, and two tiny windows right now. Miles of ocean are dead because of usthe Oxygen Destroyer killed a former Godzilla several decades ago along with everything around him: suffocation before the atoms of his body weakened, leaving nothing but bone. A shark hunts in vainstill. A jelly billows past like a cloud. I rake away layers of shells and fish husks from his skeleton with the submarines robotic arm, collect him piece-by-piece. Godzilla died then because we didnt understand, because we are always afraidand despite him saving us from danger time and again, we never seem to learn.
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