Edward Teach - Sadly, Porn

Sadly, porn

Edward Teach, M.D.

2021 Edward Teach. DL 2x2x405. All rights reserved.

Paperback ISBN 978-1-7344608-2-7

Ebook - Kindle ISBN 978-1-7344608-3-4

See the woman? The bloom on the woman? You can see her again and again. Anytime you want.

Disclaimer

I went down yesterday to Piraeus-- no, wait, that wasn't me.

What is pornography? I cant define it, but I know it when I see it. So you're the one who decides? No, it's subjective, porn could be different things to different people. So everyone gets to decide? No, there's no objective criteria. So no one gets to decide? No-- Thank God.

Many people find it hard to have a rational discussion about pornography with other people, because other people dont exist. You may as well try to discuss porn with an ox, if you can find one, if you will listen. Other generations exist, because you hate them, but such dialogues are tricky because the old can't help but see sexuality as part of a continuum towards death because they are closer to death than they are to lust, so much so that rather than an old guy thinking the young are sex obsessed, he forgets they are sex obsessed, forgets how sex and love frame all their decisions, forgets that the kid looking idly around a train car isn't thinking about bladder capacities or his bosss incompetence, he's daydreaming about gazing at his beloved or ejaculating on a chick as he explains to her that she knows she likes it. Worse, they forget how hyperspecific love and lust is, a recently middle aged guy looks around and thinks college girls today are hotter than they've ever been, meanwhile a sophomore can look at identical twin cheerleaders and still need a few beers before he can get it up for the ugly one. You can play the game backwards, too, the creepy old perv, age 35-55, is creepy to a sophomore because it's unimaginable anyone that old still experiences lust in 3D; the simple fact that he noticed the consequences of an 18-24 year old's computer engineered bra is evidence of sociopathy unless those women have been branded as for-profit media combustibles in which case it's un-American if you don't look. The NFL put a lot of money into designing whats left of those cheerleading uniforms, so unless you want to end up registered on a database you better not be caught not pretending not to notice.

Lust wanes with age; and if the old have good characters, they may feel some relief at having escaped such a frenzied and savage master. And if they lament it, and feel like they are being deprived of something very important, then I suspect that youth was hard for them as well. But what blocks all such dialogues isnt the age or the hormone levels, it's the demographic. The hardest thing to swallow is that your lust is not your own, while it feels primal there's little innate or instinctive about it. This is not a happy thought, with so-co individualism being all the rage in the age of Know Thyself you're not going to want to hear about how little of you is you rather than the work product of whatever media agency targets the demo they've decided you're in. You're not taught what to want, but how to want, the modern innovation is to let you think you came up with you on your own. I love a shaved pussy, says the man who just doesn't get it, as if this his genetic preference. Ugh! says some equally oblivious antithesis, it's like you're with a child. Now he has to imagine shes an adult. She is actually an adult. Yes, but he has to imagine it. If you practice seeing pieces of images, images of pieces are hard to unsee. When a guy looks at porn back from his own sexual prime, the enthusiastic reaction he has to the now hysterical hair and makeup or decade/exercise/diet specific body type is just as reflexive as if it came from ten gazillion years of natural selection, but it didn't. Large hips are a cue for fecundity. That at least explains why have always avoided them. I just love a big ass. Yes, it's the part of her furthest from her face. You mean you can imagine her the way you want? No, you dont have to imagine her at all. Shes real. It's possible that the 1985 mustachio in the dark blazer over office-gut happened to be born at precisely the time that his unique major histocompatibility preferences coincided with the sudden popularity of white pumps and Legg's pantyhose, or that these are proxy cultural markers for biological fitness or ovulation, but the alternative explanation is that Bandolino needed market share so it targeted him as well as women, it told him not just what kinds of women a man like him should want but what kinds of men those women would want, which is also why he thought the mustache was a good idea. Ok, but what does it mean that I get turned on by-- Save your breath: I don't know what it means. I only know what it's for. And that it's bad for everyone else.

Here is a book about porn. If you are looking for a Table Of Contents for your own analysis, don't bother, the one you see here is fake and I dont think in chapters, only acts. As consolation I'll tell you there is a hardcore sex story right at the beginning and its about 30 pages long so youre on notice or youre welcome. I have deliberately not written it well, I am imitating the flow and style of that kind of porn story. I didn't try to make it unique or sensual, literary or even erotic; while it is explicit pornography it is vanilla by most standards, penis vs vagina, obvious in its language, plot, and tropes. My purpose wasn't to elevate the genre but to capture it, by which I mean photograph it. I made it easy to assure yourself that there is nothing interesting there, formulaic escapism devoid of deeper meaning, its only purpose to facilitate orgasm. And then-- well, I guess well see what happens next.

NB it is a specific type of porn story: a cheating wife story. Let me stop you right here and say I am utterly indifferent to your idiotic complaints. I am not trying to turn you on, I am not trying to explain why it does or does not turn you on, I don't care, only you care, which is equivalent to no one cares. Whether cheating wife porn arouses you or nauseates you isn't important because those feelings have the same force vector, what you think about those who do like it is also unimportant-- though it would be better than five years of undergraduate critical theory to have a ten minute discussion about why it is so important for you to hate the people who like the things you hate because other people like them, what is it about you that wants to blot out the sun whenever anyone says they want summer to come? Want to have that discussion? No? College it is then. If it makes you any feel better those people you hate will likely be responsible to pay for it. I took out loans. My assertion is valid in all eventualities. I assure you the cheating wife genre was a random choice, any porn would have worked here, romantic, BDSM, incest, alien, snuff, the result would have been the same because the manifest content of the story is fairly irrelevant except to your genitals which are definitely irrelevant. Forget about what porn you like. It's not about you. You know how I know? You didn't make it.

Undoubtedly someone is going to toss the words heteronormative and individualizing the structural at me, and that person should stop reading immediately, not just this book but all books, your mind is broken and it is better suited for TV. I don't mean you are stupid, only that you are even more a product of the system you hate than the porn you think you reject. You think your sexual proclivities define you, they are unique to you, distinguish you; that the man who likes forced interracial porn is fundamentally different than the woman who likes soft core lesbian porn, this is wrong: the fact that you both like a porn makes you far more similar than different, please observe that your oh-so-personal and disparate kinks are all served by the same handful of websites, we are all brothers and sisters after all. We enjoy it, surrender ourselves, we praise anyone who affects us most in this way. As much as everyone believes their sexuality is fundamental to their identity, no one would say their actual sexual past is indicative of their identity. Its different with you, those other people didnt count. I know. Neither is there anything to be gained by analyzing the kinds of porn you like as a window into your soul, it is meaningless and anyway chosen for you to like. Have you ever fallen asleep looking at porn? Yet that fact is far more telling than the image you fell asleep to, it doesn't matter what you want, or why you want-- it only matters how you want. You can count the drinks and pretend it's informative but too many times I've grabbed the bottle to pour myself the nth drink only to discover I hadn't finished the (n-1)th drink, the glass was still half full, or empty. So? You think the truth can be found by solving for n?

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