Jan Andrews - Winter of Peril: The Newfoundland Diary of Sophie Loveridge

I have hated writing these daily pages which Uncle Thaddeus has insisted upon, because I have never had ANYTHING to say. Now I have SOMETHING to say. But it scares me.

Mama and Papa and I are going away on a ship. It is Papas idea. Mama is furious. But Papa has persuaded Uncle Thaddeus that it is what we must do.

I would put more but I do not know any more. I wish that someone would EXPLAIN.

The house is in an UPROAR. The packing has begun. Mama keeps to her bed.

At least I have found out why we are leaving. It is because Papa is going to be a poet and he believes it is the work of a poet to chart new deeds. He also believes he will be like a man called Mr. Daniel Defoe, who wrote a book about another man who is called Robinson Crusoe who lived on an island all by himself.

Papa talked to me in the hallway after breakfast. Mostly what he wanted me to know is that by writing his own book he will become famous and make lots of money. I did not have to ask him why we need money. Have I not heard the servants whispering about how it is because he has none that we live here instead of in our own house?

Papa says Uncle Thaddeus has done all that he can to thwart him in his purpose. But he has been determined. I have known, of course, that something was afoot. I know always. But in this instance NO ONE would speak properly of it. Not even Nanny would do more than clasp me to her. My poor little Mistress Sophie, she kept saying. But she did not say anything else.

Papa called me into the library. He unrolled a great map. I saw we are going to an island with NEW FOUND LAND written upon it.

But Newfoundland is where Uncle Thaddeus sends his fishing ships every summer! It is where he has told me hardly anyone lives.

In the nursery, Nanny started packing my silk gowns and my hooped petticoats into my trunk. Uncle Thaddeus brought other garments he said I would need. There is a common peoples hooded cloak of red. There are bedgowns such as Nanny wears in the daytime and which wrap around. Linen caps and aprons. Wooden pattens to go over leather shoes upon my feet. Warm things to go under for the months of winter. All are rougher than I am used to. I do not understand.

Something has happened which feels as if it is going to be important.

I was in the schoolroom with Mistress Tyler. She was showing me a picture of Red Indians which she says on my travels I perchance may see. She wanted me to be warned for she says that the Red Indians are TERRIFYING.

Papa came. He took me in the carriage to the harbour to visit the ship that is called the Daisy, on which we will sail.

He said, YES, we are going to Newfoundland, but we are going to a part where Mayhap no man of England eer yet has set his foot. He told me we would not be coming back with the fishermen at the end of the summer.

I would have cried but Uncle Thaddeus appeared. He brought us to where there was an old man working with planks of wood all round him and a lovely round, red face.

Uncle Thaddeus said the mans name is Old Lige. It is strange to put this but Uncle Thaddeus made me think that with Old Lige I would be safe.

I have risen early because I HAVE TO get this down. Uncle Thaddeus has arranged that, when the ship comes home and we do not, Old Lige will stay there with us. Papa is angry but Uncle Thaddeus is insistent. He says Robinson Crusoe is a story and we are not.

He says that even now he could return to his better judgment and command the Daisy to sail without us. I wish that he would do this VERY MUCH.

Mama has arisen. She is in a frenzy. The trunks have been taken away. Before they went, Uncle Thaddeus had Nanny put some of my clothes into a small bag to keep with me. I know I am supposed to be grown up but I have added my doll, Eliza. She is not very pretty but I have had her a very long time.

There were prayers at church for all the ships preparing to set forth. I prayed AS HARD AS I COULD. Uncle Thaddeus says we will set out ahead of most of the other shipping. That is because all will be unfamiliar at the landing and it may be necessary to search for a place with a good harbour and a beach appropriate to the work.

I am on board, in the little cabin that apparently is to be mine. Uncle Thaddeus has introduced me to Captain Jones but we have not yet started on our voyage although the ship does move about.

I am writing because Uncle Thaddeus has given me a leather satchel with quills and ink and a blank book in it. Into the front of the blank book he has fixed all the pages I have written since I first found out Mama and Papa and I were leaving Deer Park.

Uncle Thaddeus says if I have what I have written right from the beginning, I will have the whole story which he hopes I may find pleasing.

I do not know if I care about the whole story. I just know that using all these things makes Uncle Thaddeus seem a little near.

Saying goodbye to Nanny and to him was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Even now, as I think about it, I find tears within my eyes.

I HATE it here. It is HORRIBLE. When we sailed it was late. No one came to undress me. I had to get under the covers with my gown still on. I am in it yet. I do not know how to get it off me.

A sailor called Jack visited this morning. He brought me a hard, HARD biscuit to eat with butter but I could not ask HIM. Mama and Papa do not come. Of course, they do not. I am supposed to have servants to look after me. Mama and Papa are supposed to have servants to look after them. Are there no servants here?

I would like to at least find where Mama and Papa are, but since we have been moving the shouting of men is doubled. Everything is creaking and shifting. I am frightened. When I try just to stand up, I cannot find my feet.

Mama is in the cabin which is not next but the next after that. Papa took me to her. Mama has no one to help her either. She bid me tie the bows on the laces of her stays. I did not know how to do it. She became angry at my clumsiness. She sent me away.

I suppose my question about the servants is now answered. But having NO servants makes me feel more frightened still.

I do not know what day it is. I just know that I have been bringing up so often I think my whole insides of me have come out.

I am feeling better. But then we are in a harbour once again. Captain Jones says we were hit by a gale. We had reached somewhere called The Lizzard but were forced back to Plymouth, which is in Devon.

I have solved one of my problems. I tore my gown off me. Then, of course, I was worried. But I thought of Uncle Thaddeus and my small bag. I took one of the bedgowns to wear. I brushed my hair.

I am glad to get all this done because Jack has come to say that Captain Jones would like us to dine with him in his cabin. I am VERY HUNGRY INDEED.

I have seen OLD LIGE!!! He was at the Sunday service, as Papa and I were. I hope God will not be angry that once I had seen Old Lige it was hard for me to think of anything else.